Dear Me

I'm sorry that I am so different,
So far from like everyone else.
I apologize for hiding my emotions,
Too insecure to vocalize how I felt.

I never meant to be such a burden,
That heavy weight you carry around on your back.
I wish, instead, that you could have someone,
Who more than makes up for what I lack.

Why do I require so much attention,
Then insist on putting up a fight?
I know you have got to be exhausted,
Yet, you struggle through sleepless nights.

My sympathy for all the scars I put on you,
Such pain you should never have endured.
It wasn't enough for me to just scratch the surface,
I had to penetrate you right down to the core.

I never thought I would let things,
Get this unimaginably out of control.
I didn't purposely drag you down with me,
Forcing this pain on you was never my goal.

Did I really cause all this confusion?
I must have simply been missunderstood.
Will you ever be able to believe,
That my intentions always started out to be good?

I was headed, at first, for a bright future,
But somewhere along I got turned around.
Now, over and over, I find myself tripping,
Always seeming to land face-first on the ground.

I can't believe I became such a failure.
Why couldn't I have just gotten things right?
Is it too late, now, to create a new vision,
Where success isn't so far out of sight?

-JLBarrow-