Dreamland Chapter Four

Joven’s alarm was screaming at her again, it was 8:00 am and her muscles groaned when she roll over to turn it off. The battle to get three metal desk up the stairs had ended up as an unholy war. Even though she was the victor in it she didn’t feel like it. She was sure every muscle in her body had been strained by the brawl. She moved to pull the covers back over her head and stop midway through unable to lift her arms that high. “Oh yea, I get to go take horse riding lessons today.”

Now that she was awake, she found that laying perfectly still didn’t prohibit her body from protesting. Her hips screamed at her to shift her position while her shoulders instructed her to stay put. Sighing, she lifted the covered cautiously as if she could sneak out from under them without her body knowing. Unsurprised that it didn’t work she delicately walked to the bathroom and started a hot shower.

Raindrops of heat streaked down her back and buttocks brought only minor relief. Joven changed her mind on the solution and put the stopper in the drain. Pushing the button on the faucet she watched the tub flood with hot water and tried to think of an easy way to lowered her stiff body into it. By the time her ankles were submerged no answer had come and she lower herself at a turtle’s pace into a sitting position.

The fluid level rose with her action and she sighed as it started to loosen her sore legs. “Damn! I wish I had some bubble bath.” She looked across the small room to the bathroom cabinet and decided it was not worth the pain. Sinking lower into the water she picked up the wash cloth on the side of the tub and dipped it into the hot water and wrung it out. Placing it over her eyes she leaned back slowly and flinched for a second when her spine met the cold interior of the bathtub.

Forty-five minutes later she was still soaking in the in the cooling water. The ache in her muscles had started to evaporate leaving behind the vague all over body pain. Joven knew she was at the point where she had to move to feel better and she pulled the stopper to liberate the water.

Standing up, she reached for a towel and enfolded the white terry cloth around her body. Stepping carefully out of the bathtub she titled her head side to side to check for tightness. “I can move again.’ Leaving her to turn her attention to the closet door and what to wear.

She picked out a red tank top that had three half inch straps that reached up to a collar that buttoned at the back of the neck. A loose black jacket, ending in blue jeans and brown hiking boots. She pulled a red scrunchy out of her desk drawer and pulled her hair up in a pony tail. Sitting down at her desk she put on a light layer of make-up with an extra touch of base to help cover the yellow green bruise. She added the gold floating heart necklace her father had given her for her fifteenth birthday. She hadn’t taken it off until the day after his death but it just felt right to wear it again.

Her body still felt tender all over, but she was in high spirits and looking forward to the day with Devlin. She left her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Stopping by the newly finished darkroom she picked up the case holding onto the Cannon 35 mm camera that she had set-up the night before and headed down stairs for breakfast.

Linda was in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of coffee when Joven walked into the room. Turning at her daughters footsteps she was surprised to see her wearing the necklace her father had given her. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that, and you already have a camera in hand… It’s good to see you feeling like your old self.”

“It’s not that I feel like my old self, it’s more like I’m finding me again. It feels good. I feel like I can move forward for the first time since dad…” her voice held sadness. She turned away from her mother and took a measured deep breath. The tears stayed in place for the first time and she blew out the breath slowly. Turning back, “I guess I’m just ready to find me again and to be happy.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I have been worried about you for a long time. I wish I had been able to let go sooner and move. You suffered so long in that house… I feel responsible for some of your pain.” She put her coffee cup down, walking to Joven, she hugged her tightly to her breast.

“It was never you mom, or that house, it was me. I stayed in the house so much because it felt like dad was there. I guess I was scared that if I left the house then I would stop feeling him. That he would vanish somehow. At the same time I was putting little things in boxes. Little things of dad, little things of me…” she reached for the words to articulate her feelings. “I just couldn’t see how I was losing him when I lost me… does that make any sense?”

“Yes, believe it or not, it does make sense. A part of me felt that way too… but I knew in my head that was not the answer no matter what my heart whispered.” Linda turned back to her cup of coffee. “I wanted to hide with you, but I couldn’t take care of you if I did that. I was so scared that I wasn’t taking good enough care of you. You were just so broken. I knew you felt responsible for what happened, but you never were. I want you to know I have never thought that.”

This time the tears did gushed as if a dam had shattered. “I wondered if you blamed me, if you would forgive me…” She wiped her eyes with a paper towel she ripped from the roll. “I don’t think I have forgiven me yet, but I’m on the road that will lead me there. At least I think I am.” Joven started to say more but the doorbell rang. “That will be Devlin, and my make-up is running.”

Linda wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, “you go fix your face and I will get the door.” She followed her daughter out of the kitchen to the living room where they separated to their own task.



*****

Dressed in jeans, cowboy boots and a black polo shirt Devlin stood on the porch waiting for the door to open. He was surprised with the elder version opened the door for him. “Good morning ma’am” came out a few seconds afterwards.

“Come on in Devlin,” she stepped back from the door to give him room. “Jo is upstairs finishing getting ready, so it will be a minute. Do you drink coffee?” She was leading him towards the kitchen.

He followed behind, “Yes, ma’am.”

Laughing, “Call me Linda. Would you like a cup while we wait on Jo?”

The trademark smile was back, “I would love a cup Linda. I’m not early am I?”

“Nope, Jo is a girl. Plus, we were up until about three in the morning. She decided to set-up her darkroom yesterday and saved all the heavy lifting for when I got off work. So glad I’m off today, my shoulders are killing me.”

Devlin looked surprised, “I didn’t know she was into photography. After Friday I thought I had her all figured out. Why didn’t you guys call me, I would have been happy to help.” He had finished fixing his cup of coffee and was now sitting in the chair she had motioned him to.

“I have known her eighteen years, and I still don’t have her figured out.” she laughed and took a sip of her coffee. “Since she not here to stop me, I get to be the mommy and ask twenty questions.”

“Ask away, I will answer almost anything.”



*****

Joven was upstairs staring in the bathroom mirror at swollen, red eyes, outline in smeared black lines that had streaked into skeletal fingers poring down her face. Deciding the best idea was to start over she worried about leaving Devlin waiting to long. Sighing, she started the hot water and then added in some cold, and gave her face a good scrubbing. Once her face was shinny clean again, she started recreating her face with eye drops and base. Fifteen minutes later she was comfortable with her appearance.

She strolled down the first set of stairs and into her newly completed darkroom. Standing in the doorway she studied the hard work from the night before and smiled. The large black tarp had been nailed to the ceiling, splitting the white side from the black side, efficiently creating a shadowy work room. The white side was open and airy, an invitation to long hours of creativity and healing. As an after thought she grasped an extra roll of film and headed down to meet Devlin.

He stood as soon as Joven entered the room. “Good morning, you ready for this? If your to sore I’ll understand.”

“To sore? Oh, from last night… nope, I’m good, hot water is a wonderful thing. Besides, I have been looking forward to learning how to ride and taking some new pictures. I have old faithful over there on the counter and two rolls of film.” She moved to the counter and added the second roll to the black camera case.

He spotted the case for the first time,. “If your ready, were out the door?”

Joven gave her mom a hug, “Don’t know when I will be back, so I will give you a call on the way home.”

“Have a good time babe.”

The two headed for the door with waves and grins. Linda listened to the closing of the front door and the deafening stillness that followed. Standing up, she moved to the kitchen sink and watched as they climbed into the truck and it backed out of the driveway. Sighing, she poured the last cup of coffee and started cleaning up the kitchen.

*****

The swift ten minute ride was full of light conversation over the ends and outs of developing photographs. Devlin turned the truck down a arched dirt road, on the west side was dense forest brought to a standstill by a deep trench. Across the road to the east, mammoth evergreens lined up, giving brief glimpses of a mansion.

The truck slowed to make the ninety degree turn into the driveway showing the large open field dominated by the manor situated in the center of a crude circle. It was square, with each side proclaiming to be the front of the house. Four soaring white pillars rose up to the sky, two on each side of the porch, stopped only by the substantial coving of the terrace. Five stairs, with thick waist high walls, were guarded with large white urns on each side. Once on the landing, a semi-circle protruded out encased in four windows and a glass door centered between them. Above the circular entrance sat a balcony in the center of the second story, quarantined off with a white wooded fence and fingers of ivy, to protect a visitor from falling. The over all color was a soft brown broken only by the reaching vines that stretched for the sun. All four sides of the house had the identical face, so that one was unsure of which entrance to use.

Joven’s mouth was slightly open when the house filled her vision and Devlin laughed. “Something to see isn’t it.” She nodded her head in response. Pulling up in a medium sized gravel parking lot he stopped the truck and turned it off. Turning sideways, “It’s a big place but I don’t think you will get lost.”

“Wow, there is no other word for it, wow!”

He laughed again and opened the truck door. Sliding out, he walked around and let her out. Stepping back, he let her slip out beside him and then reached in to seize her camera bag and slung it over his left shoulder. Nodding towards the far side of the residence, “the barn is over there, I’m sure Mace is there waiting on us by now.”

Her eyes went wide again. The barn, as he put it, was a bulky two story building, painted white with red outlined windows every four feet down the sides. The building ran for thirty feet before ending against the evergreen wall, topped of with a rounded roof devoid of windows. The two over sized sliding doors reached from ground to the ceiling of the second floor. Standing in the center of the door was a white mare, saddled, a lead rode brushing the earth lightly.

Joven stopped in her tracks, whispering to Devlin, “hand me my camera, this is to perfect to miss.”

Without a word he handed it over and watched her drop down on one knee. She held no concern for getting dirty. A smiled played lightly on her lips as she focused the camera with a few quick turns. Click… click… click… murmured through the air and she let out a breath. “What a beautiful horse!” Standing slowly she turned to face Devlin, “any chance I will get to ride her?”

“I would say so. That is why she has a lead rope on instead of reins. It will give you the chance to feel her under you and keep it safe.”

“Great!”

On cue, Mace walked out of the barn leading two more horses with saddles by their reins on either side of him. One was a soft dapple gray, the other midnight black. He was wearing blue jeans with cowboy boots and a red t-shirt. His auburn hair was cut short and parted on the left side. Sideburns crawled down and across his face to a well trimmed beard and mustache. Pale skin made his cheeks stand out as if he were wearing blush with full pink lips and a straight nose all wrapped up in an angular face. “There you guys are, I was starting to wonder if you had changed your mind. I have Molly ready for you Joven.” He dropped the reins as he spoke and reached out his right hand to her.

“Molly, the pretty white one?”

Mace laughed, “yup, the white one. She is the gentlest horse we have and perfect to learn on. Dev tells me you have never been on a horse before?”

“That’s true, and I’m real excited to learn. I’ve seen so many people riding I feel like I’m missing out.”

Devlin started laughing, “well we won’t let that continue. We’ll have you riding in no time by yourself. Before you know it you will want a horse of your own.”

“To late, I already do! But I don’t think mom will go for it.”

“In that case, you will have to come over and help me work out all of the horses.” Mace took Molly’s lead rope and led her over to Joven. “First thing is first, lets get you comfortable sitting on her. I also recommend that you get some boots, it will keep your feet from slipping through the stirrups.”

“I will do that first thing tomorrow,” she promised. “Can I pet her?”

“Sure, walk straight up to her so she can see you coming. That way she doesn’t get spooked, and then just stroke her neck.” Mace was holding the bridle by this time. “That’s it, just slow with long strokes. Now take the lead rope and walk her around for a minute. Let her get used to you.”

During the exchange Devlin kept still and quite. He enjoyed watching her when her guard was down. It made the nightmare from Friday night feel even less real. He was sure that he had mentally filled in the blanks since she had not explained how her father was murdered. He could still see the window before him, see the glass turn cloudy and clear slowly to the horrific view of a man beaten to death with crow bars while snapping off a key in a dead bolt. Knowing that Joven stood on the other side of the door, desperately trying to get out, left sitting in a lake of blood all night. The brief walk in the woods afterwards did nothing to ease his sleep.

His attention snapped back to the present with her laughter. “Don’t let me fall off the other side.” She was looking down at Mace as he squatted to help lift her into the saddle. She had her camera dangling around her neck as she pushed off his hands.

“Let me take that,” Devlin offered holding out a hand. “I don’t think you need to snap pictures from up there just yet.”

She agreed and lifted the strap from her neck, “no fair taking pictures of me while I’m falling off Molly.”

Delving took the camera carefully and stepped back. Joven sitting firmly on the horse as she held onto the saddle horn. “Are you ready?”

She nodded and Mace started walking slowly around the front of the barn in a broad circle. Molly’s movements were unhurried and her head moved up and down with each step. Rocking back in fourth in the saddle Joven tried to hold her body stiff so she wouldn’t fall. “Relax, just feel her under you. Your not going to fall, I promise.” he told her as he started a second circle.

To put her more at ease on the horse Devlin mounted the black stallion and had him stroll beside Molly. “It’s like being on a boat in the ocean. You just roll with the waves, let it rock you.” His smile caressed his face and spread over her face in reply. ‘That’s it, you’re a natural.”

Mace handed the lead rope off to Devlin and went to mount his own horse. Slipping up on the other side of her. “He’s right, you are a natural. I would guess you will be holding your own reins before the day is out.”

“Thanks for the blind faith guys, I hope your right.”

Thirty minutes later the lead rope was off and she was making circles on her own while the boys watched. She had never felt so free. The connection she had with the horse was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Wild abandon was written on her face as she made larger and larger circles. Molly felt comfortable with her rider and without warning stepped into an easy gallop. Joven didn’t even notice lost in the oneness with the animal beneath her.

Devlin started to go after her concerned the horse would get away from her. “Leave her be, she is a natural.” Mace grabbed Midnight’s harness.” If you stop her she might become afraid of Molly. That would be a shame.”

A phone ringing interrupted him from responding and he kept a close eye on Joven still wanting to protect her. From across the yard she noticed him watching her and brought Molly to a standstill beside him. “She is incredible! Thank you so much for bringing me out here.” Her voice was breathy from the exhilaration she felt.

“Party’s over people. That was Edoha, a hiker has gone missing and they are starting a search party.” Mace slipped off his horse as he spoke. “They are asking for help from anyone who has horses so we can cover as much area as possible before night fall.”

With out hesitation, “I would like to help too.” She dismounted as if she had been doing it for years.

“I think it should just be me and Mace. You’ve only been riding a day. Some of those trails can be ruff.”

“You said it yourself, I’m a natural. It sounds like they need all the help they can get. We’ll go together. So if we find him, I can stay with him and you can go back and bring help.”

Mace smiled, “She has a point. The three of us will team up. I’m sure she will be fine. Dev, go get the trailer and I’ll get the horses ready to load.” Reaching out he took Joven’s reins and walked the horses over to the watering trough. Dropping the reins on the ground he turned back to Devlin who stood beside his horse. “Joven, this will more than likely be an all day affair, are you sure your up to it?”

Standing beside Molly she stroked her neck softly, “yeah, I’m up to it.”

Devlin pulled his truck up slowly to the barn with a horse trailer hooked up to the back of it. Placing the vehicle in park he jumped out and helped Mace load the horses. Standing a few feet from the truck Joven knelt in the dirt with camera in hand. She took the opportunity to snap a few pictures of the boys. Once the horses were secure in the trailer all three hopped in the front of the truck and headed for Cheoah Point park.