Expectations

Expectation- the Dictionary describes it as hopeful, looking forward for, anticipation. But, actually, it’s a very non-trustworthy state of mind. Non-trustworthy because, the person who expects does not know what is going to happen. Yet, they expect many many things. When a person expects something, he/she wants that something to happen. If it happens, just the best! But, if it does not, then, finished- day ruined for the person who expects.
Okay, lets name this person who expects as ‘Hopeful’. So, this Mr./Ms. Hopeful is hoping something would happen so that he/she will be satisfied or happy. Hopeful finds dreaming about ‘somethings’ as good as achieving those hopes or aspirations. So, Hopeful is convinced, this is going to happen, because s/he has seen it in the dream. But, suppose, those ‘somethings’ do not occur in reality, because it’s obvious that all things do not go the way we want. Now what? Those dreams which Hopeful thought would happen didn’t actually happen. This means Hopeful becomes sad, hurt and all the possible negative emotions you can think of right now. This is just the initial stage of not getting that ‘something’ Hopeful wanted. Later, Hopeful expects many things. These many things maybe related to some things, or not. But, Hopeful is still expecting. Now, out of these many things, Hopeful may get some things, and may not get some other things. Now, Hopeful changes his name- he becomes Hopeless.
Ms. Hopeful has just entered college. She wants to make new friends. But is shy. So, she EXPECTS others to come to her and start talking to her. But, it does not happen somehow. So, she feels isolated and also feels, she is not worth any friendship. Expectations also lead to irrational thinking. Take the case of a young 21 year old girl who is in a relationship. She feels her boyfriend should call her every time. So, she is expecting something which even she can do of she wants to speak to him. If he does not call, for some obvious reasons, she tends to believe that he is not interested in her. Thus- irrational thoughts. If Hopeful stops engaging in thoughts or expectations and are very hopeful for them to happen, then it can turn into disasters. For instance, a wife expects her husband to cook food for the house at least once a week. If he does not, she thinks her husband does not care for her. So, an irrational thought has come about, because of her expectations, which can spoil her good relation with her husband. In order to get what she wants, I feel she needs to be specific and clear to her husband and tell him that she needs his help at least for the weekend. He may agree to help her. This may relieve her of her distress and will help build a better relation.
Thus, one way to get what you want is to tell the person, whom you expect from, what you want. But, it’s not always a person you expect something from. It can be life too. You expect life to go on smoothly, when it is not going smoothly. Or you expect life to give you all you need. But, these expectations get shattered for some. This can be the case of expecting something unreal, or something beyond ones reach. Or if it is ones hand to get that something, one is not working towards it. So, expecting something beyond one reach will mostly lead to failures. And these failures will lead to, what I mentioned earlier, failures with all the negative emotions.

To conclude, expectations suck. But, if Hopeful does expect something, it should have three qualities:
1. It should be realistic and not beyond ones reach.
2. It should not lead to drawing conclusions and
3. It should not lead to being Hopeless.
So, stop expecting things from others around you. Be happy with whatever you get from them. Be happy from what you get from life. Do not expect a lot from life, something extraordinary, which may not even exist. Be simple, think simple and lead a happy life.