See the world through the eyes of me

Chapter 3


The parking lot was filled with kids and cars by the time we got to school. One car to every kid in this school. The parking lot had everything from a Aston Martin to BMW’s. Nothings to extreme for these kids with doctors, actors and senators for parents. With no exception to our family.
Jake parked his Ferrari in its usual spot. ‘Reserved.’ Was the sign in front of the red parked car? Guess it helps if your dad’s on the school board. Jake made class president for his senior year. One which he really does deserve, but I can’t help feeling that it wasn’t the votes that got him there.
I got out of the car only to realize Jake was half way to the school building already. ‘He’s really mad. I didn’t mean to do that but I didn’t have a choice. I am not crazy! How could he think that? I thought I knew him, now I don’t know anymore.’
Stalking on to the entrance I walked past him and a friend talking, Clair something. I stopped next to them. They stopped talking and turned away from me. I stared at Jake frowning. ‘When did he get this rude?’ I was stunned, I reached for his arm but stopped mid-air, turned and walked in the direction of the doors.
I opened the double door of Garth Fox High School. Inside it looked like a school for rock stars not high school kids. The lobby had lush furniture in. With seating everywhere. Trophy cases lined the walls on both sides.  The hall was buzzing with teens skirling to there lockers. I could feel the fear bubbling up in me. ‘Keep it together May.’ I strode forward trough the doors head high. ‘There’s no time to get an anxiety attack, they’re just people.’
I felt a bump in my back and stumbled forward but caught the railing on the steps in time to stop myself from falling. Angered by such rudeness, I turned just to stare straight at Aaron. His dirty blond short hair and his face always fresh and clean. ‘He could be a model if his ego didn’t interfere.’ “Hey May! Sorry about that. Didn’t see you there. You alright Shorty.” He said winking at me. To Aaron everything could be fixed with a wink or a kiss. ‘Politics of life’ he calls it. ‘Can’t believe he thinks women are really that easy.’
He closed his eyes and leaned in fast to kiss me smack on the mouth. I ducked just in time. He’s head went over mine and landed a smack right on the guy, standing on the other side of the rail’s, cheek. Adam Spencer, not a guy you really want to mess with. He has more contacts then the mob.
Aaron winched as his lips touched Adams stubby beard. At that moment I knew it was time for me to leave. ‘This was going to get ugly, fast.’ I ducked out from under Aaron and headed down the steps towards the lockers. Spotting Cat, by her voice, right by our lockers. We’ve had these lockers since the four of us started here at Garth Fox two and a half years ago.
Only when I got to them did I turn to see what the two boys where doing. It didn’t look good. They where in a heated discussion about something. No need to guess what it was. Aaron turned and pointed to me.
I gave them a light wave. I knew I was probably red up to my ears. Adam how ever didn’t look convinced about the explanation Aaron was giving. Before I could blink, Adam swung at Aaron. Even know we were a good few feet away from them, I heard the cracking sound as his fist connected with Aaron’s jaw. My jaw dropped.
I grabbed Michelle by the arm and head to the side hallway. “What was that all about?” she asked looking at me with her eyes wide. “You don’t want to know.” She gave a giggle. “Sounds like you had something to do with it.” “Not really.” “That is code for absolutely.” Cat squeaked from behind. “Cat please, a few octaves lower. We don’t need for dolphins or dogs to understand you.” We all laughed loudly. For a moment it looked like the blond skinny girl was going to be mad about it, but then she laughing as well.
We walked into Mr. Clarks’ class. “Thank you ladies. That’s enough for now.” All the teachers here greeted there students at the door, some even extended there hands for it. Especially if it means they get to interact with young girls that way. Cat looked at Mr. Clarks hand and walked past him. She ignores him every single time but it doesn’t mean he stops trying.
I walked forward as it was my turn in line. He stuck his hand out to me. It looked sweaty and dirty. A shiver ran down my spine. ‘I think I’m going to be sick. I don’t even want to think about where that hand has been. Oh no, too late.’ “Maygan is everything alright?” Mr. Clarks asked as I stared at his hand. ‘I wonder how long I’ve been standing here like this!’
I swallowed hard and grabbed his hand. “Yes, thanks everything is fine.” I answered back, but he didn’t let go of my hand. A smell caught my nose. It was coming from the biology class. The place always reeks of fish and acetone. ‘Biology is a great love of mine but I just wish we could get a deferent teacher. Preferably someone that doesn’t smell like he sleeps in a sewer.’ I yanked my hand out of his clutches and walked into the class. As I took my seat behind Cat she turned and handed me a bottle of hand sanitizer and eyed my hands. I used the sanitizer and handed it back. Mr. Clarks entered the class and started the biology lesson. Everything sounded like one big hum. He was never a very gifted speaker. The bell couldn’t have come at a better time. I gathered my books and left the class.
“So? What do you think of the hair?” Jessica asked her tropes. “Cute.” Grinned the dark tanned and dark brown haired Spanish Raleigh approvingly. “Cute? That’s all you can say?” Jessica spit back. “No, no it’s like ….” Raleigh tried again. “Totally rocker style.” A more sophisticated Zara replied quickly eyeing Raleigh disapprovingly. “Totally individualistically done.” Raleigh said nodding with a smile. “Much better.” Jessica replied flicking her hair over her shoulder as they walked past us in the hallway. I thought I was going to be sick.
And to make matters worse Karen just had to open her mouth about it. “Your step sis sure knows how to bring it. Her hair looks AMMAZ …” she stopped talking as she turned and saw my face. I opened my locker and out fell a note. It was in a stander white envelope. Karen japed on about Jessica. I slipped the note into my book bag without her noticing. Slamming my locker shut I turned and walked on in the direction of second period English. “So what, I’m not allowed to admire her from a distance?” Cat asked as she jogged next to me trying to catch up. “No.” I simply answered and walked into the class room and to my desk at the back in the middle row.
Aaron stormed into the class just before Miss. Lewis, our substitute teacher, closed the door. His right eye was black and he had a grin on his face. He took his place next to me. I have never seen someone so happy to have a black eye. He turned and looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders. His grin widened and he turned himself back to the black board. I also turned my attention to the board.
Suddenly I heard my name being called out. I looked up into Miss Lewis’ face. “Please pay attention Miss Patterson” “Yes Miss Lewis.” “So Mr. Doyle can you present us with a well structured question?” Aaron cleaned his throat and sat up in his chair. “Yes I can.” He answered. The whole class was silent. “Well then please grace us with your thoughts.” “Alright. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?”
The whole class was crawling with laughter. I tried to control mine by holding my nose ‘If I don’t breathe maybe I won’t laugh.’ It didn’t help, it snorted out. “Yes thank you Mr. Doyle that’s quite enough.” “But I’m only getting started Miss Lewis.” She glared at him. “Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? If the little black box on a plane is made from indestructible material, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?” Miss Lewis looked like she was fuming. I bite on my lower lip, still shacking with laughter. The edges of my mouth were quivering.
“I have a good mind and send you to detention after school.” “Won’t really make any deference to me, I’m already going.” “Well then good, you have 15 minutes more to spend there.” She smacked her notebook on his desk, turned and walked down the row of desks. “Is that all?” he asked pulling his face. “Would you like to push the matter further Mr. Doyle?” “Yes Miss Lewis.” He gave her a over practiced smile and flattered his eye lashes. I snorted again. ‘He looks so funny like that. Innocence’s doesn’t fit him.’ “Thank you Miss Patterson, 15 minutes for you as well.” “But I …” “We can make it 20.” She said razzing her eyebrows. I just bit my lower lip and shuck my head. “Good.” “No not good, she didn’t even do anything.” “And that means 20 minutes for you now Mr. Doyle. Shall we continue?” “Yes why not.” Some of the class giggled softly. “Yesterday I read about the evils of sex and alcohol, it scared the shit out of me. So I decided to give it up…. That’s reading of course!”
The class roared with laughter. I just turned my head away, the quivering was back. “Well thank you Mr. Doyle, you can pack your things and leave my class room. Immediately!” she stamped her foot like a child. He got up from his desk and swung his back pack over his shoulder. “It’s not your class room.” He muttered walking out the door. “Excuse me?” She could have blown steam out her ears. Her face was tomato red. “I said it’s not your class room.” “Out now!” she yelled. The rest of the class was quit. He left without saying anything further. The rest of the period went by without anyone saying a word. The time until the bell went felt like forever. Third period Algebra was thankfully uneventful. ‘I had enough drama for one day.
At lunch time I looked for Jake, but he was no where to be found. ‘Something tells me he is trying to avoid me.’ We spent most of the lunch break talking about Aaron’s ranting in the English class. I had made a date with the girls to go shopping after school, and detention. The rest of the day dragged on as usual. The last bell rung and everyone scattered through the hallways. “Okay so we’ll see you at the mall?” Michelle asked. “Yeah, that’s great I’ll see you guys there.” “Okay.” They turned and left for the exit. ‘Right, I might be late as I am pretty sure my usual lift won’t wait for me today.’ I walked on to the detention hall. I opened the door and was greeted by a football ball in the face. I staggered back and hit my head against the door frame.
“Hey little missy, close the door!” Mr. Gerard yelled. “Sure don’t mind me, I’m fine.” I muttered and closed the door. The detention hall held a few familiar faces. I looked around the room and spotted an open desk at the front. I made my way over to it. “Excuse me.” I tried to get through the crowd. “Hey partner in crime.” Aaron smiled at me from across the room. “Sit with us.” “Yeah thanks for that. I would have been shopping right now if you hadn’t decided to irritate Miss Lewis.” “Oh well, I just couldn’t help myself.” “I know that’s the problem.” I sat down beside him. “So where’s your note? Detention note?” I scratched around in my book bag and pulled out the note. “So now what?” “Now we hand it to Mr. Gerard to sign and track your time. Have you ever done this before?” “No.” He took the note from me and walked over to Mr. Gerard’s table. They exchanged words and Mr. Gerard looked at the clock on the back wall.
Aaron returned to our table with the note. I took it from him and examined the note. He signed it and wrote 15:15 on it. I turned to the clock at the back of the room, it read 15:09. “Ok, only six more minutes left. Thanks.” “Don’t mention it, as long as I get to spend those six minutes with you.” “Doing what?” I glanced at his face. He winked at me. “No. Don’t even think about it.” I combed my hair back with my fingers.
“Now I’d like to know what you thought I meant.” I bit my lip down hard. “So what do you want to do?” “Just chat a little. You changed the subject. Why?” “Why did you go of like that in Miss Lewis’ class today?” “Ok, I get it you don’t want to talk about it. That’s fine. The reason for misbehaving, life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. You must think I’m crazy.” “Mental – yes. But definitely not dull.” “That’s nice I’ll remember that. Let’s talk about you.” He hung his arm around the back of my chair. “What do you want to know?” “Everything. Tell me your deepest darkest secret.” “What?” I laughed the word out. “Yes, why not. I won’t tell anyone.” “Why do you want to know something like that?” “Just curios. Trying to make small talk.” “That’s a weird way of doing it.” “I can think of weirder ways of doing it.”
He moved a little closer with his face, almost like he leaned in to whisper something in my ear. ‘Or kiss me.’ I leaped from my chair and grabbed my book bag of the floor. “It’s time for me to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Where are you going in such a hurry?” “I’m meeting the girls at the mall. So I have to get going.” “I’ll give you a lift.” “That’s nice but I really have to get going.” He turned around and glimpsed at Mr. Gerard reading his newspaper. “Ok, let’s go.” He picked up his back pack and pushed me in the direction of the door. “Won’t you get into trouble for leaving early?” “Na, he won’t notice I’m gone.” He swung his arm around my shoulders as we walked trough the hallway. I shrugged it of and walked on like nothing was wrong. We got to the parking lot, only a few cars were left. His Aston Martin was the closed to the building.
“Get in. The door is open.” I got in next to him and fastened my seatbelt. He chatted on about all kinds of things, to me it sounded like a hum. I occasionally nodded and smiled at him. We finally reached the mall entrance and said our goodbyes. I walked into the buzzing mall. Fear set in. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened my eyes.
Cat, Michele and Karen were standing in front of me. “Are you ok?” Cat asked. “Yeah, yeah fine.” “Then what’s with the closed eyes?” “Um, just breathing.” “Please tell me you did not have another panic attack.” I glimpsed past her and saw a dress shop. “That looks like a good dress shop.” “You’re changing the subject.” “Yeah I like doing that.” We walked into the shop. The saleslady approached us and the girls babbled away about what they were looking for. I headed in the opposite direction.
‘Not sure what I’m looking for. Maybe something sexy but not revealing. Ok, to revealing.’ I scanned trough the cocktail dresses and to my surprise found a navy, non-sequenced, non-pleated, no frills or sheer fabric dress. I walked to the tall mirror to examine the find. ‘It looks good. Let’s try it on.’ “I’m going to fit this.” I told the girls. “Wow May, I’m impressed. I like this new attitude.” “Right.” I whispered back and disappeared through the curtain, into a dressing booth.
I closed the big wooden door, turned to hang the dress on the hook against the wall and saw out of the corner of my eye something move in the reflection of the mirror. A scream escaped my mouth. I swung around, there she was. Danielle was sitting on the chair against the other wall. My one leg buckled under me, I caught the handle of the door and stabilized myself. We stared at each other. A set of wrinkles formed between her eyes and her mouth was set in a frown. I couldn’t tell if she was angry or irritated. Someone knocked on the door. I yanked my hand from the handle. “Is everything okay in there?” a woman asked. I tried to speak but couldn’t get anything out.
She pulled at the door handle. “Miss, are you alright?” I swallowed hard twice before I answered. “Yes thank you. There was a spider in the corner.” “Oh my, I’ll get some insect repellant spray.” “No, it’s ok. I killed it with my shoe.” “Oh, ok. Are you sure it’s alright?” I opened the door just enough to see the woman. “Yes thank you. I’m fine.” “I apologize for this Miss; I will have someone look into it immediately.” I took a deep breath and closed the door, immediately turning to Danielle.
She grinned widely. “Please tell me you’re not going to wear that tonight. It’s hideous.” I bit down on my lip hard. ‘I’m not going to say anything. I’m not going to say anything.’ I turned my back to her, undressed quickly and slipped into the dress. It was short and tight, but looked good. Really good. ‘No straps or detail. Just a dress. Perfect.’ I gathered my hear and held it with one hand at the back of head, then turned quickly to face the mirror.
Danielle laughed abruptly. I glared at her from the corner of my eye. “I thought that it might be too tight, but now I will take the dress.” I turned my head in her direction and smiled. I slipped out of the dress and put my own clothes back on. When I turned around to face Danielle, she was gone. I smiled with relief. ‘This day has been awful enough with out her around.’ Exiting the booth I walked into Cat by accident.
“So? Did you get anything worth looking at? You can’t go standing next to Victor Van Couver looking like a rag doll.” She widened her eyes like she was frightened or shock by something. “Please tell me you are still going. You can’t back out now.” “No, no. I’m still going. And I found the perfect dress. Now all I need are some shoes and a jacket.” “And some jewelry.” I nodded. Cat dragged me to the front of the store and tried deferent types of shoes and accessories together until she was happy with the outfit. I paid the items and left the stuffy store.
The girls soon followed and we made our way towards the exit. The mall was filled with people. Some I recognized from school. Once we got to the entrance I hung the dress bag over my shoulder and took out my cell phone from my book bag. “What are you doing?” Michelle asked. “I’m calling a cab to take me home. What ells would I be doing?” “She glared at me for a long moment. “No your not. My mom will be here any minute, we’ll give you ride home.” I opened my mouth to protest but she only stared me down so I closed it again. She looked so young when she tried to be like an adult. I smiled and her face lightened.
We waited a bit until all the mom’s arrived. Mrs. Hicks was last. “Okay so I’ll see you guys tonight. We’ll arrive in my car, so I’ll pick everyone up around seven.” Cat blow each of us a kiss from her moms car and got in. I smiled to myself. ‘Like her mom would allow her to drive that ridiculously expensive car with only her learner’s permit.’
Mrs. Hicks shiny silver Volvo seemed big on the outside, but was even bigger once you were inside. The seats were covered in tan leather and smelled bran new. The Hispanic woman behind the steering wheel smiled at me in the rearview mirror. “Hello Mrs. Hicks. How are you?” “I’m good. How was your day girls? Did you find the dresses for tonight?” Michelle told her all about the day she had. I did not talk, only listened. Mrs. Hicks accent was beautiful. She looked and sounded like Penelope Cruz. The 5 minutes we spent in the car was over to quickly. ‘All I can say is, Mich is a very lucky girl. Her mom is so nice and understanding. By the look on her face right now, I think she knows this. I whish we could trade places.’ I sighed as the car halt to a stop in front of our estate.
“Bye Mrs. Hicks, thanks for the ride.” I said as I escaped the car with my parcels under my arm and my book bag in the other.  “You’re welcome May. Say hi to your mom for me.” “Will do. And I’ll see you tonight.” We both giggled “Okay. Bye.” The car drove of and I turned for the gate. A big black SUV was parked in front of the gates. The doors both opened and two people got out. I walked towards the gate.
The driver turned to me, she was female and young. Big sunglasses covered most of her face. A thick jacket, black suite pants and boots were her attire. “Hi, I’m Detective Johnson and this is Detective Collins. We’re from the Long Island PD. We’d like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.” “Actually I do mind.”
The man smirked. He had a beautiful smile, crooked but beautiful. His unshaven face looked very young. ‘Definitely not old enough to be a detective yet.’ Sky blue eyes and brown hair. “We’re looking for Jacob McDermid. His your stepbrother, isn’t he?” His horse British accent surprised me. “Yes he is, but I don’t know where he is.” “Take a guess.” “Not very good detective work if you have to guess.” “Then it’s a good thing you’re not a detective.” I felt my face inflame. “Well if I have to guess, I’d say home. The midterm is starting next week so he should be studying.” He scribbled on a note book. “According to the maid, his not home. So anywhere ells he’d be. Library, school, friends house. Anything you can think of would be a great help.” Detective Johnson said.
“What’s this all about? Is he in trouble?” They looked at each other for a brief moment. “No, we’d just like to talk to him. We think he may have seen something last night that’s of importance to the police.” Detective Collins answered.
“Well I haven’t seen him since this morning at school.” “And lunch time?” It felt like his eyes were boring holes through me. I kept my face expressionless. “No. his friends said he left early. I don’t know where he went or where he is right now.” “And this friend, where does he live?” “I don’t know.” “You don’t know? But he’s your brother’s friend?” Wrinkles gather in the middle of his forehead. “It doesn’t mean he’s my friend. I don’t know where he is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have home work to do.”
I quickly walked past them towards the gate. He turned and stuck his hand out to me. In it was a small card. “Here take it. If you remember anything ells about last night or if you see your stepbrother before we do, give us a call.” “Ok, will do.” I took the card from his finger tips, stuffed it in my jackets pocket and walked through the gates. I didn’t turn back to see if they had left just hurried up to the massive front doors. I only breathed deeply when the doors shut behind me.
‘Why would the police be looking for Jake? What could he have seen last night? It might explain his strange behavior this morning. But he also might have said something to me. And most importantly why did I lie?’ I sighed deeply with my back to the doors. Then I noticed the letter on the entry table next to me. My name was printed on the envelope and placed up-right in the holder facing the door. ‘Probably so that I would notice it when I came in.’ I picked it up an examined the letter. ‘It looks just like the one I got out of my locker this morning. I haven’t even opened it yet.’
Lucile rounded the corner into the entry hall. She looked furious. I swallowed, but my mouth was dry as a desert. “You’re late.” Was all she said and walked back to the kitchen? I reluctantly followed. I walked into the kitchen. Peter was seated at the breakfast table. ‘Now I’m facing a hearing to. This day only has to get better.’ Peter gestured with his hand to the chair next to him. I sat down and stared at them. “So what now? What did I do this time? Normally I only get grounded or something like that. This is a first.” “We have a serious matter to discuses with you May.” Peter looked me in the eye. “There is a very good doctor in Los Angeles that specializes in young adults that suffers from various deferent mental illness. We spoke to him about you and he has agreed to let you attend there facility for a few months to see if he can’t help you.” I stared at the two them in shock.
My ears were ringing. “I’m not insane.” I spit the words out like they were hurting my insides. I wasn’t sure if I was talking to them or more to myself. “We understand that, May. But your behavior says differently. You are a troubled young girl and need professional help. Dr. Hilton can do that for you.” “I will never go.” “Why not?” Lucile asked. Her eyes were glassy as tears were gathering in them. “There is nothing wrong with me. Why won’t you believe me?” ‘What could I have done that is deserving of this type of treatment?’
“You look so much like your father. Why can’t you be more like he was?” “Don’t talk about him. You never knew him. You never cared to know him.” Tears were gathering in my eyelashes. I felt myself shake with anger. It felt like I was standing outside of my body watching it. “We’re only trying to help you May.” Peter said in his sweat fatherly voice. “I don’t need help.” I grit my teeth together trying not to say more. “And this note I found on your bedroom floor this morning? What was this about?” I stared at the red sticky note knowing that if I took it and read the words it would still be the same as it was last night.
“Well? What is this about? What have I done that you hate me this much?” I stared at her frowning. ‘What was she going on about now?’ I took the note out her hand and opened it. I could barely believe my eyes. It was definitely not the same note as the one that was on my floor last night. “I didn’t write this!” I through the note down on the table. “Oh please Maygan. What do I look like, a moron?” I didn’t answer, I couldn’t. Not this time. Things have gone too far. “It’s your hand writing May.” Peter gave me the note back after examining it again.
I saw my mother in the corner of the kitchen. She made no sound, only the constant shaking of her body gave her away. I had hurt her with this. Truly hurt her. ‘The only thing is I didn’t even do it. I’m sure of it.’ Peter made his way over to my mom eyeing me the whole time. He folded her into his arms and she just sobbed. ‘This is too much for me.’ I turned and left for the grand living room. I read the note one more time. ‘FUCK OFF MOM’ all in my handwriting. The tears were streaming down my face.
Beep Beep.
Beep Beep.
I gasped at the air. My fingers went num and it felt like my heart froze over. It was my cell phone. Taking it out of my pocket the screen read, ‘1 new message’. The message was from Cat. ‘C U at the party in 1 h’. “Oh no, the party, I almost forgot.” I rushed up the stairs to my room, climbing the step two at a time and slamming the door shut with my foot. I scanned the room quickly for Danielle. ‘Nothing.’
Grabbing the hairdryer of the floor I plugged it in. I closed my eyes and switched it on. It worked. “Thank you.” I unplugged the dryer again and left it on the vanity. I grabbed the parcels of the floor and dashed into the bathroom.