I Think I'm Paranoid

        Janet set the alarm by the front door, checked the door to make sure it was locked then she checked all the windows on the first floor. After looking through the blinds and assuring herself that the patio door was indeed bolted, she walked upstairs and went into her bedroom. Janet locked the bedroom door behind her then went to pull the curtains on her bedroom window closed, after checking the lock, of course. She retrieved her robe from the hook on the bathroom door and began to undress.
           
      Janet went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. While softly singing she took the steak knife off the bathroom counter and stepped into the shower. She balanced the knife on the wash cloth bar, next to her razor, and adjusted the water temperature. Before she started to shave her legs she peeked out from the behind the shower curtain to make sure no one (and nothing) was in the bathroom with her. She shampooed and conditioned her hair, then looked out and checked the bathroom again. Humming softly to herself, Janet lathered herself up with her favorite body wash, then rinsed. She checked the bathroom one more time before turning off the water.
         
        Janet pulled back the shower curtains and grabbed her towel. After drying herself off she turned sideways and bent over so she could dry her hair while keeping an eye on the room. She stepped out of the shower and put on her robe. After grabbing the steak knife and placing it back on the counter, she went into the bedroom and got dressed for bed. She checked the lock on the bedroom door before slipping into bed and turning off the lamp. Before she drifted off to sleep, Janet reached down to the side of the bed closest to the wall and felt the solid, comforting feeling of the handle to the knife secreted there, which was angled up towards the bed for quick and easy access.

        Janet awoke to the sound of her cell phone ringing. After looking at the caller ID, she smiled and answered the phone. “Hi, Jack… Yes I’m awake… Lunch would be lovely… One o’clock? That’s fine, just ring the doorbell... Ok, bye.”

      After hanging up the phone Janet snuggled back under the covers and looked at her alarm clock. It’s only nine? Jesus. It’s too cold to be up this early on a Saturday. Janet debated on whether or not to get up and make some coffee, then opted against it for the time being. She didn’t have to be anywhere for a while yet, so why not take her time? She decided to enjoy the leisure a Saturday morning has to offer.
     
      At twelve-thirty, Janet walked downstairs wearing tan wide-legged trousers and a dark green cowl-necked knit sweater. She turned off the house alarm and checked the mail. While holding the envelopes Janet walked once around the first floor and made sure all the windows were intact before settling down in the kitchen to sort the mail. When the doorbell rang Janet jumped, her car insurance reminder fluttering to the floor. She looked at the clock. Twelve forty-five? He’s early.

    Janet walked to the front door, looked through the peephole and opened the door. “Hi Jack. Usually people are fashionably late.” She stepped aside to let him in, shut and locked the door, then led him to the living room. “I know,” he said, sounding slightly embarrassed. “I couldn’t actually wait the extra fifteen minutes. Does that sound desperate? I think it does.”
   
      Janet giggled. “Yeah, a little, but that’s okay. It just means you care…a lot. Do you want anything to drink?” She asked when he sat on the couch.
“No, no. I’m fine for now.” Jack assured her. He waited until Janet got comfortable before continuing. “I enjoyed that movie the other night. I can honestly say I’ve never sat in the middle of the back row before, though.”

    Janet raised her eyebrows. “Really? It’s the only place I sit. Your back is to a wall and you can see people coming from all sides. It’s the safest place one can be in a movie theater.” After seeing the odd look forming on Jack’s face, she tried to play it off. “Oh come on now, are you seriously trying to tell me that you’ve never taken a lady friend up to the back of the theater? That’s awfully hard to believe.”
     
    Jack grinned sheepishly. “Okay, maybe once or twice in high school.”
         
    Janet smiled. “Mmhmm. Are you sure there’s nothing I can get for you? I have water, juice, soda, beer…anything?”
         
      “Really, I’m fine. We better get going anyway. Are you ready?”

      “Yes. Let me grab my coat.” Janet stood up and walked to the hall closet, grabbed her tan, thigh-length tweed coat, opened the front door and motioned outside, “After you.”
         
      Jack walked out the door while Janet set the alarm. She followed him out and turned to secure the dead bolt and the handle latch. Before going to the car Janet jiggled the door handle, twice, just to be sure it was locked.


         One afternoon, a week later, Janet was reading a book in the living room when her cell phone rang. After seeing it was Jack, she answered. God, I hope he’s not calling to cancel. I don’t think I could bear another rejection. So I’m a little more cautious than most people. Is that really so bad?
         
    “Hello…Hi Jack…Yes, I’m still available tonight…Exactly how late is late…I see…No, no it’s fine. Yes really. I don’t mind a late dinner. You can’t just leave in the middle of a meeting, now can you? I’ll be ready when you get off work. Just give me a call…Mmhmm, nine o’clock is just fine…Ok, bye.”
         
    Oh, thank God. I can handle late. Late is fine. What am I going to wear tonight? I wish he would tell me where he’s taking me tonight, though. If I’ve never been there I’ll need to plan an escape route in case anything happens, and I know how difficult it is to plan an escape route in a strange place while trying to successfully hold a seemingly undistracted intelligent conversation, Janet sighed. Why can’t I find someone who understands the dangers in the world as much as I do? I saw the look on Jack’s face when I mentioned the movie theater. I know he’s going to break up with me soon. Janet clenched her fists. He’ll think I’m crazy. Just like the rest of them. After taking a few mind-clearing deep breaths Janet got up, checked the lock on the front door, and then went upstairs to select an outfit.
         
        While Janet was searching her closet, twenty-five year old Ronald Granger was testing out his newly acquired electrician’s license on the pole across the street. After settling himself in his harness he opened the power box and began to get acquainted with the set-up. As Ronny tried to remember the mnemonic device he used for the colors of the wires, thunder pealed across the neighborhood. Oh my God. This is no good. I’ve got to get down from here, but I think I can finish this job first. Now, if I could just remember the order. Is red first, or blue?

          Janet was bent over her shoe collection when the thunder heads rolled in. She jumped up, her spine ramrod straight. Oh no, not a storm. I can’t go out in a storm. Things HAPPEN in storms. Car accidents, maniacal serial killers, poltergeists; and I bet tonight is when Jack is going to break up with me, too. But it’s fine. I’m ready. I am prepared for anything. As Janet mentally reviewed her wide-ranged arsenal, her bedroom lights began to flicker. Gasping, Janet sat on her bed. Okay, ghosts or murders? Another explosion of thunder rattled the glass panes, sending Janet straight to her feet. As she ran to the window facing the street a drenching downpour loosed itself on the city. Trying to see into the neighborhood, she spotted a man directly across from her, staring into her window. All the blood drained from Janet’s face. Murderers. She made herself make eye contact with the man…then the lights went out.

        Ronny, still struggling to remember his teachings, cursed himself for not taking Eddie up on his offer to come with him. How could I have been such an idiot? Why did I honestly think I would be able to do this by myself on my first field job? While vowing to never go out alone again, Ronny looked up towards the sky when it began to rain. Now, cursing himself out loud, Ronny glanced to his right and noticed a woman in the window of the house across the street. She seems frightened. I bet she hates storms. Don’t worry lady; you’re not the one strapped to a large lightning target. Speaking of which, this is a bust. I’ll just come back later, with Eddie. GREEN! That was it! It’s the green wire first! Ronny smiled happily and continued working, not realizing that he was, in fact, wrong.

        While Ronny was quite pleased with himself, Janet was utterly frantic. A knife in every room, a knife strapped to my ankle, all windows and doors locked, cell phone is charging, cordless phone on its charger. Where’s my gun? Janet took a deep breath. No use in getting one's self all worked up. The doctor was right; my heart can’t take all this stress. Calm down, Janet Harlow. You have everything under control. The police department’s arrival time is seven minutes from this house. Ten to fifteen if you account for the weather. You’re fine! Janet began to check the windows one more time, if nothing else, to give her cell phone more time to charge.

        Ronny was walking down the street when he suddenly turned around to look at the pole. Not caring that about the rain, since he was already drenched, he began to second guess his color choice. Maybe it was the blue one. Oh well, I’ll ask Eddie tomorrow and file a report. It’s only my first day. A little power outage never hurt anyone. Satisfied that he did no permanent damage, Ronny turned and ran to his car.

      Coming around to the front of the house, Janet checked the living room windows. She saw a man standing on the sidewalk and after careful scrutiny from behind the curtain Janet decided that it was the same man and that he was watching her house. Heart beating faster and faster she ran to kitchen to grab the cordless phone. Hardly able to catch her breath Janet raced back towards the staircase. As she entered the entryway and turned towards the stairs the doorbell rang. Janet gasped, whirled around, and then collapsed; her heart giving out before she even hit the floor.

      (House phone rings, voicemail picks up) Hi, you’ve reached Janet. If you’ve reached the correct person, please leave a message and I’ll call you back when I get the chance. BEEP!
   
      “Hey Janet, it’s Jack. I’ve been trying to call your cell. Please don’t be mad. I know I’m a lot later than I thought I was going to be. We missed the reservations, but I ordered pizza so we could still spend some time together, maybe watch a movie? I hope the delivery guy went to the correct house, I almost couldn’t remember the address. He should have delivered the food by now. I’ll have to drive slowly because of the rain, but I’ll see you soon. Bye.”