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Today was the fourth day of our 15-day bondage vacation. Master
has kept his word. |
WHY I SUBMIT I was recently cleaning an area of my home and came across one of my early journals that covered my first 3 years or so of living a 24/7 style as owned slave and slut. It was a very enjoyable, very erotic experience. You ask why we live this lifestyle. For me, this passage from my journal 12 years ago, near the end of my second year as property, speaks to why I, at least, so enjoy this "lifestyle." I hope you find it thought-provoking. Today was the fourth day of our 15-day public bondage vacation. Master has been true to his word as usual. I have been restrained in some way every second of this trip thus far, and Master has gone to great pains to make certain my bondage is both beautiful and visible to all who see me. We've received many, many looks of surprise, shock, disgust, and often something that passes for envy from both women and men. We make an attractive couple at any time, but I think we are an erotic sight as I walk or sit with Master in my bonds. So far he's made sure my hands have been restricted, usually behind my back, because he says it forces me to walk in a very sexy and inviting way. Today Master took me past my comfort level but, as always, it led to a revealing moment of deep personal insight for me. Master dressed me in a short, flowing cotton skirt, a halter top and my 4-inch "walking" shoes. The steel collar with the very visible lock in front remained around my neck and, as usual, my hands were bound behind me, today encased in steel wrist bands held together by a short length of chain. We ventured a short drive from here to a small shopping district and wandered the stores and streets for several hours. We ate a late lunch, where we encountered a group of 4 women who began to watch us constantly, realizing that I was bound and in this man's total control. Their body language and whispered tones made it clear to Master and I that they disapproved of my condition. As usual, we remained content with our own arrangement. After Master and I shared a leisurely lunch, with his careful offering of food for my consumption given my handless condition, we continued our stroll. The women seemed to follow along and Master decided to provide a show of his control, openly touching me, hugging me, kissing me, and generally taking advantage of my bound position. Of course I made every effort to be obedient and to please Master. After a period of time playing this game and watching the women become more and more aghast at our play, Master told me he had a few private errands he wanted me to run. He led me to a bench near the edge of the shopping district and had me sit down. To my surprise, he suddenly had an ankle cuff in his hands and quickly and efficiently locked one end to my ankle and the other to the metal post of the bench, securing me in place. Without another word he went off on his errands. I immediately noticed the women tittering amongst themselves , looking at me with amazed and disapproving looks. I could hear a few snippets of their conversation, things about my self-esteem, the kind of man who'd do such things, the kind of woman who' would be seen as I was…and so on. I sat patiently and serenely, awaiting Master's return and whatever else he had planned for me. Of course, the entire situation, being bound so in public, knowing I was being observed, and that Master had created this moment just for me, created a very high level of arousal in me, arousal I was unable to act on given the location and situation my hands were in. Over the next few minutes the four women seemed to creep ever closer to me, watching me in amazement and continuing their judgmental conversation. Finally one of them seemed to take a deep breath and moved away from the group, slowly and tentatively walking toward me and taking a seat next to me on the bench. I smiled a silent hello and remained as I was. She glanced back and forth from me to her friends, and they slowly made their way closer to me. As they all gathered around me, the first to leave the group spoke. In a tone that was part lecture, part question and part interest she asked me why I allowed myself to be treated so, what kind of self-esteem I had to be so publicly humiliated, why I was imprisoned to this bastard, what kind of slut I must be, that I was beautiful and didn't need to submit myself to such treatment to get a man, etc., etc., etc., etc. She went on for several minutes as I remained silent, though inside I was churning. After a bit her friends began to join in, belittling me, judging me, and in general putting both Master and I into a box, a box they clearly felt was beneath them. After a period of time, I could take it no longer. With a deep breath, I said very firmly, "STOP!" The surprise of my talking and the intensity in my voice brought about instant silence. I looked each woman in the eye and began: "Who are you to judge me and my Master? "In your little, closed minds, you use your perceptions of right and wrong to judge us, and most importantly to judge me. "Yes. It's true. I am in my Master's control. I am his slave, his concubine, his slut, his property. But it is a choice I have made freely, with complete knowledge and understanding of the consequences, and, because it brings to me incredible fulfillment and security, the rewards of a wonderful relationship/ "You assume I am a prisoner without choice. I have made my choice. And in making that choice, I am more free than any of you can ever be." They began to babble in response, disagreeing strongly with my statement. I allowed it for a moment before I spoke again, this time even more forcefully. "Let me tell you about freedom," I said, as they again fell silent. "I am free in this relationship because I don't have to pretend and I don't have to negotiate. I am owned by a man who adores me, in whom I have total trust and faith, who cares for me deeply and with total commitment. Can you say that about the men in your lives? "I know exactly what is expected of me in this relationship and I am 100% confident in my ability to meet his expectations. Yes, it involves submission and sex in ways you may find offensive, but I know that by simply submitting with full commitment to whatever he requires, I will please him. How many of you can say you know that whatever you do will please your man? "I am owned by a man who knows my deepest emotions and thoughts and spends his entire life trying to bring me happiness and satisfaction. He has encouraged me in every possible way to be who and what I what to be, to stretch my horizons and chase my dreams, and to explore new frontiers. Yes, much of that involves sex, usually with him and often with others, but in sexual freedom I am able to see so many other possibilities in my life. I don't chase sexual satisfaction. He brings it to me. Can you say that about your lives? "I am owned by a man who is a complete and devoted lover to me, who knows my body, its needs, its responses, better than I do. Yes, he binds me, he teases me, he hurts me, but in the end I know with total confidence that I will be completely satiated and satisfied. Can you say that about your lives? "He keeps me constantly aroused and interested in him. The last several hours has been extended foreplay -- does your man offer you hours of foreplay? I don't have any idea when and where and how and with whom I will cum, whether it will be once, twice, or many times, but I know that I will. Can you say the same thing? "Through my slavery, through his total control of my body and my every action, I have seen parts of the world I never dreamed I'd seen, met people of all walks of life, been allowed to experience physical sensations and sexual arousal that I know very few women can dream of, much less conceive of experiencing. And yes, the sex matters to me…straight, kinky, men, women, pleasure, pain…it matters a great deal to me and I am free to relax and enjoy every sensation in ways I know none of you can. "Yes. I am bound to this bench. Yes. I am owned. Yes. I will be sexually active tonight. Yes. I am a slut. But I am happy and fulfilled and totally comfortable with my choices. I am free. "Can you say you are so loved? Can you say that your sex life is satisfying? Can you say you are so happy? "So before you judge me further, take a look at yourselves. If you think you're as happy as you can be and as I am, then I congratulate you. But if you are not, don't criticize me because I am. Perhaps you should try it my way." They were silent, almost stunned, and quickly left me, again muttering among themselves and looking back at me with something that I took for respect. I sat quietly on the bench, reflecting on the day and the moment and what I'd said. And as I ruminated about the conversation it suddenly occurred to me that I'd described perfectly to these total strangers exactly why I found being owned and in slavery to Master so satisfying. I'd never been able to answer that question for myself before and I was suddenly filled with the most incredible, peaceful feeling. When Master I finally returned I was so happy to see him. He commented on what seemed to be a change in me and I simply smiled, telling him that I had never been so content and fulfilled, even in his presence, as I was at that moment. |