The indescribable.

'i miss him so much it hurts, it feels as though a hole has just been punched by hands like a vice, right through my chest and is set on stealing my air, my lifeline. The seconds tick by, unbareably slow, as if they know their suspence is playing tricks on the mind, the undisturbed silence more deafening than the loudest of screams, like nails screeching down an old blackboard. The mind whizzes uncontrolably, jumping from throught to thought almost untill you begin to question if you thought them atall. The un-heard melody of the mind, churning almost in time to the heartbeat, yet sometimes singing a completly different synphany. The mear thought of him causes the heart to race and like an old, fragile record been played too many times, it skips a beat. Waiting, the most agonising of punishments, anticipation, excitement, anxtiousness, whilst waiting the mind forces apon you every possible emotion and thought process. I check my phone and still no change, the devistation is overwhelming, my hopes and expectations come crashing down, exhastion pierces through cloudedness of a fuzzy mind. The harsh reality of his missing voice is presented, the almost mesmoring, soft, husky tone that has the ability to send multiple shivers surging down my spine, it is desperatly missed, longed for. The amazing talent of his that i cannot escape; I cannot help but be completely and unconditionally in love with him.


The sudden alerting tune from my phone slices through my un-eased thoughts. His name, the only name i ever search for on any screen, the only other name besides my own that i respond to if heard somewhere, the one name that at the sound of has the ability to cause my entire being to beam, giving me a severe tingling sensation fluttering it's way through out my body. It appears. A burst of reife encircles my head and forces apon me a smile like no other. Picking up my phone to return his call, my thoughts are consumed of only him. He answers; the greatest feeling ever, in that first second i hear his breath, rough but steady as he adjusts the phone. His voice, indeed the most mesmorising drug i have ever come across. I find myself straining my ears vigeriously, my undivided attention grasping onto his every word desperately. I can't help but loose myself in his dreamy-like tone, that at the right time had the ability to engulf me in a sea of calmness, causing me to drown in a wave of relaxation, completly at ease against the harshness of reality. Like the way he holds me, like nothing bad could ever happen to us, wrapped in our own little world that consists only of the two of us, yet that is enough, all we need. The rest of the world can wait, nothing then is more important than he is, everything bad and unwanted casually melt away. how i never want him to let go.


His voice sends another rippiling wave coursing through my body; devotion. The temptingly soft husky tone that i could never get tired of and the laugh that is indeed so infectious, has the ability to pull me into a phase of my own giddiness and everything i love about him is presented and remembered in the exact instant he whispers my name, causing what feels like an electric current pulsing through my body, giving me a feeling of extreame butterflies, only these butterflies are having a casual war inside my stomach, a beautiful war, dancing uncontrolably and sparking off eachother in many different harmoneys, perfectly in synch and occasionally feeling as though they are to burst out through my mouth. I still don't know how he does it. That irrisistable, indulgence of a tone, combined with his unmissable charm grants him the ability to slip past any trouble he might be in, making it almost impossible to stay mad at him, a skill he takes for granted, manuvering easily around the wall i had once built around myself, the only one who has ever got round it nd penitrated those walls, the only one to ever have been let in.