First Day on the Job

Dear Diary,



Unemployment had ended when I woke up this morning and attended my brand new job working at a call center.  I was all prepared to answer my first call, had my headset on, and had my computer programs open, when I got the unbearable urge to urinate.  I politely excused myself to those around me and found my way to the washroom. 



I should have known it was the men’s urinals I was entering by the sign on the door, but by then I just had to pee so bad, I didn’t stop to look.  I ran into the nearest stall and reached for a toilet seat cover, empty of course.  I couldn’t hold it long enough to line the toilet seat with paper, so I just squatted over the bowl.  Relief.  On the way out, a guy yelled out me to get the heck out of the men’s room.  That was kind of embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as my manager pulling me aside when I got back.  He discreetly advised me that I had toilet paper hanging from my pants.



I got back to my cubical, really red by this time, when to my shock, my phone light was lit up.  I had forgotten to log out of the phone queue.  There was a customer on the line.  I put my headset back on, ready to take the call.  I went through my introduction speech, then had my ear blasted off by a very upset lady that had apparently been on the line for over five minutes.  I didn’t think I spent that much time in the bathroom.  Finally, it was time for a break.



I went into the little cafeteria and order myself a coffee.  By this time, my day wasn’t going the best, so it really didn’t come as much of a surprise when I tripped over my untied shoe lace and sent coffee splashing everywhere.  The rest of my break was spent in the ladies room, (I made sure of it this time) drying my pants and shirt under the hand dryer.  I went back to my cubical again, looking a little ragged with coffee stains down my front, when the manager pulled me aside yet again.

 

He told me I was inappropriately dressed and that work code stated to come to work in clean clothing.  So, I got escorted to the human resources office.  I was told to go home unpaid and return to work once I was wearing something a little more appropriate for a place of business.  I left the building feeling a little ashamed and made my way through the downtown core to my bus stop. 



Along the way, a man in a business suit, handed me a five dollar bill, then continued to walk.  I tried yelling to him that I didn’t need his money, but he disappeared too quickly.  Finally, I made it to the bus stop.  I parked my bottom on the bench and waited.  Incidentally, that man wasn’t the only person to think I was down on my luck.  By the time I finally caught my bus and made it home, I was thirty dollars richer.  I never did make it back into work though.



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