The pottery Necklace

The Pottery Necklace

         

Anna grew up in a hostile and barren world filled with rage and hate. Her father was a bitter man who held a grudge against the world. He used his daughter as a scapegoat for all of his inner turmoil. The man could shred her self-esteem into ribbons with a few well-chosen words

The only crime she had ever committed was having the audacity to be born; her father made sure she paid dearly for it. His belt was never far from her mind and she bore its vicious marks on her innocent skin. Just by glancing at her, no one would be able to tell that on her back was a twisted rainbow of black, blue, yellow and red. No one ever saw the bruised heart that had to struggle to find a reason to continue beating, which was slowly collapsing under continuous assault.

Her mother was locked in a world of her own pain and regret. She was therefore unable to reach out to the daughter that so desperately needed her. She turned her back on her little girl and refused to acknowledge Anna’s ongoing agony. She put on a pristine mask to hide it all and would then pretend that nothing was wrong.

Eventually Anna learned how to shove away her pain. She didn’t think. She refused to feel. But beneath the glossy veneer Anna had created, she was becoming weak and slowly suffocating under the combined weight of it all. As time went on, her heart reached its limit. There was no more room to cram down the burning pain. It consumed her every waking moment. There was no escape, no release.

One night she couldn’t sleep, she was frightened of the demons that so often haunted her dreams.  She quietly crept outside where no one could her screams. Anna’s soul had been screaming for a long time and she had no option but to finally voice them. She sank to her knees in the mud and began to sob hysterically.

“Does anybody hear me?” she shrieked into the night, her face contorted in rage.

“Does anybody care?” she whispered in a defeated voice.

She stayed there on ground for several hours, eventually curling herself into the fetal position on the cold hard patch of earth. After she was spent and had no tears left to cry, she got up shakily and started for the house. Suddenly she heard someone speak to her out of the darkness.

“I can take away your pain” it soothed.

“How” Anna whimpered. “How can you take it away? No one can help me!”

“Pick me up and lay me on your chest little one and let me show you what I can do.”

Anna hesitated. The voice was soothing and seductive, but alarm bells began ringing in her head. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but in the end, the pain won out. She looked down to see a small black form the partially concealed by the shadows. With a sigh of trepidation, she reached down and picked up. It was warm and smooth to the touch. Anna did as it commanded and laid on her bare skin right above her heart. She instantly felt a brief knifelike sting and for a reason she couldn’t comprehend, she suddenly felt happy and peaceful. Anna cuddled the blob at her chest and quietly went back inside where she promptly fell asleep. The next morning she remembered the events of the night before and thought that it had all been a dream. She slowly got out of bed and screeched in astonishment when she heard it speak.

“It was no dream,” the thing croaked. “It was real and I am here now, my precious.”

Anna looked down and in the morning light finally got a good look at the creature. It was pitch black and squid like in appearance. Its skin was smooth and had a lustrous shine to it. The creature had a jagged mouth with rows and rows of needle sharp teeth. Its eyes were vivid red and to Anna it seemed like they could peer into her inner being. The tentacles, she finally noticed, had hooked into her skin. “That must explain the sharp pain I felt last night,” she thought. She realized that she should feel alarmed, but all she felt was a sublime numbness.

“Do you have a name?” she asked while gazing at it curiously.

“I go by many names, but you may call me Belial. I came here to help you escape from your pain. No one can see me but you. I will be your constant companion for as long as you’ll have me.” he replied gently. 

From that day on Belial was always with Anna. He became part of her. But as time went on, the initial numbness he provided started to fade. He began to control her. He warped her thinking. Belial would spend all day whispering things into her heart, for his tentacles had long since pierced it.

“No one loves you but me”

“You’re worthless”

“you deserved to be beaten”

“If only you had been a better child, none of this would have happened.”

On and on this went until Anna sunk deeper into roaring torrent of agony than she had been before Belial had entered her life. She developed a twisted love/hate relationship with him. Half of her despised him. She new that he was evil and only meant her harm. The other half was so used to his presence that she couldn’t imagine life without him there. She feared the whole in her heart that his departure would leave. She was being torn in two, right down the middle.

Again she was back to screaming into the darkness. But this time it was different. She decided that she couldn’t carry on any longer. It wasn’t that she wanted to die; it was that she could no longer deal with the pain of her memories and being under Belials control. She took a blade and pressed it against the throbbing vein in her wrist. Just as she was about to slice it open and end it all, she heard a voice cry out, “Stop”

She immediately dropped the blade and it hit the ground with an audible thud. There was complete silence. The only thing Anna heard was the blood rushing in her ears. In front of her stood a man cloaked in a blinding light. Anna was mesmerized and could not look away. He had such a look of sorrow and compassion in his eyes that it broke Anna’s heart.

Belial squirmed and writhed against her chest in protest.

“Who are you?” she finally managed to ask with awe in her voice.

I am Jesus Christ, the lamb who was slain before the foundation of the earth.  I created you; I knitted you together in your mother’s womb. I want to take away your pain. I want to walk through it with you, and carry you when you can no longer bear it on your own. I designed you for fellowship with me, but I can’t have it as long as he stands between us.

“Don’t listen to him!” shrieked Belial. Where was he when your father hit you, where was he when your mother turned her back on you? I was there for you when no one else was” Belial cried in desperation, for he knew his end was near. He was no match for this man, this God.

“Silence!” Jesus ordered.

Belial immediately retreated into a mutinous silence. His eyes spoke volumes however. Rage, hate and utter desperation poured out of them. He centered his malevolent gaze on Anna, but her eyes were trained on the one standing before her.

“You must decide on your own that you want him gone. I can remove him only if you truly want him out of your life. I must warn you, my precious child, his roots go deep in you. It will hurt like nothing you have ever experienced before. But I promise you I will hold you close and I won’t let go. When this is over you will feel true peace and joy. Not the momentary pleasure that he offered, but the soul deep peace and joy that comes from being my child and mine alone.”

         Anna looked up at her savior, having sunk to the ground on her knees and said, “I don’t want him in my life anymore. I want to be free.” She said in a pleading voice that resonated from the very depths of her troubled soul.

Jesus stepped close to her and pulled a dagger out. Belial saw it coming closer and closer and tried to escape but couldn’t. He squealed and cursed but to no avail. The dagger pierced her skin and proceeded to root Belial out. The pain was torture, Anna new that it was necessary. Finally, he was gone and all that was left was a gaping hole in her chest. Jesus reached out and spread his palm against it. Anna felt a warmth radiate out from her chest. When he took away his hand the skin was smooth, not even a hint of a scar remained. Anna closed her eyes and began to worship her king. She bowed before him and sang his praise, lifting His name high unto the heavens. At last, the chains had been broken. The old Anna had passed away and she was a new creature in her Lord.

“Anna” the Lord called to her “Stand and open your eyes”

When she did, she was astounded. She was cloaked in white in a stunning white robe. On her head lay a beautiful crown of jewels fit for a princess. Around her neck, she was wearing a pottery necklace. She looked at quizzically and then looked to her lord for an explanation.

         This necklace is to be a permanent reminder of my love for you. I hand crafted it from an ugly lump of clay. I put in the refiners fire where it went through an intense purification process. On it, I painted a hand. This hand is to remind you always that I have a hand on heart and on your life. You may not understand everything that I do, but always know that I will work it out for your ultimate good, even if in the moment you can’t see it.”