Lost in China (CH1~CH2)

(Sorry for my poor English)

C1 Chongqing

Chongqing.

This city is famous for three thing: Hot weather, hot-pot and hot girls.

When I first arrived this city I was 18. I am a virgin, I never drank any achole and I never smoked an cigarate. I had one relationship in the high school, for two months. He broke up with me because I didn't want to have sex. I never had an high-hill or a make up before because the schools fobbid it. I am the only child of the family, as all my generations are.

I came to this city for this stupid college, my major is International Business. This school is sucks, in China all the colleges sucks, because they are not a university. To graduated from a school like this means we will have so many difficulties to find a job in the future, as now in china every year has 6,100,000 million graduated students ,only 40% of them can find a job. All the companies will first through away these resumes of a college graduated student, then the one from a nomal standard university. Of course you can get in anywhere if your family has a good RELATIONSHIP with these companies or goverment, you can get in even you don't know how to type.

I don't blame myself for getting in a college like this, I tried my best, through the only exam for Chinese enter a university, I got 137 with my Chinese literature(top 20 of the city, which has 212449 students doing the exam that year JUST in that city ), 148 with my English(top 10 of the city), I could went to one of the best universities if they only consider this two, but no, they consider every subjects, include mathmatic with pycisics, chemistry, biology or politics, geograpuy and history, I got 20 with my mathmatic, so I am an idiot, I could only go to stupid schools. Plus I don't have a rich or powerful parents, I am an idiot with no luck.

I have 6 girls in my room, I mean, in the dorm, a dorm means a room. Yes, I got six girls in a 30 square meters' room, we share one door, one bathroom and one mirror.  I can see what they are doing 24 hours, I can see they are naked walking around in the room, I can see they change their underwear in the bed, I can hear them during the night: one girl snore, one girl talk and one girl grind her teeth in sleep.I couldn't fall asleep the first week I got here, now I am getting used of it. Just sometime the girl who talk in her sleep may wake me up. She said ' Mom I miss you ' once, made me cry.

We are the lucky ones, I've been told there's a type of rooms which has the same size as ours but with 8 students live in, these are the rooms for students from country-side, they are poor.My parents give me 1000kuai (about 147 dollars) a month for food, cell-phone and cloths, my roommates got 800kuai rom their parents, that is average in China. I've been told there are some students only got 400kuai(about 59 dollars) a month, I can't image how can they survive. Of course these are the students from the country-side again. 

This is my first time leave my hometown, as almost all the other students do. My parents sent me to this city, they helped me carry my cloths, helped me organize the room and gave me money. Before they left my mother told me, I am all on my own now, I have to learn how to deal with people, how to wash my cloths and how to live.

I am a bit scared. And I feel lonely already.


C2 The blossm

I met Long after 10 days I got in this school, we always go to the same little restaurant outside school for breakfast. One day he came to sit next to me, and asked me to go to watch he play  basketball after school. I was so shy and excited, I said I will think about it, but in my mind I already start planning what should I dress.

I went back to my room and told all the girls about the date, everybody was so excited, they keep asking me how is he looked like and how was his voice and impression when he asked me about the basketball, I had to repeat it again and again. I don't feel tired at all, I like to repeat his sentance——'Do you want to come to watch me play basketball after school?', this is so cool! They also thought my answe is very cool.

I put on my best dress. Flower, one of my roommates, helped me to wear the mascara. It is the first time I wear it, I looked myself into the mirror, I thouthgt I was much more pretty.

So I went to watch him play basketball. Long is not very tall, but he is so good-looking, and I like the way he dress, it is very popular Hip-pop style. I saw him pitch again and again, I knew he is the best of these 6 boys, I already liked him.
After the basketball he took me to dinner---the same little restaurant where we had breakfast, he asked me what do I want to drink, I said coke, then he ordered beer.

He drinks beer!!!At a normal dinner? I was a bit surprised, I didn't understand why he wanted to get drunk, but somehow I thought it was very cool. He is a man, he drinks beer. I hope he noticed my eyes, they looked different with the mascara on.

We had a short conversation at the dinner:

' So, where are you from? ', He asked, without even looking at me, like he doesn't care at all.

' Guizhou. ', I answered.

' Your first year here? '

' Yes.' I glanced at his face, hope he doesn't feel that fact makes me too immature.

' I am already in the third year.' He answered, and looked back to me, he was smiling.

I found his smile is so charming, I blushed, quickly picked up a bit fish with my chopsticks.

' Do you have boyfriend?'

' No, we broke up two month ago.' I lied. We actually broke up one year ago, but I want myself sounds popular. In China under 18's relationship is not allowed by the parents and teacher, because we should spend all the energy in study. My secret love was like a battle, I had to keep it from my parents and teacher, or once they found out, they would be really angry with me.

' Oh really, for how long?'

' Last one only last for two months.' I lied again. There's no last one, there was only one.

He heard my answer, but didn't say anything, he seemed was thinking something.

The rest of the dinner we didn't say anything else, but I noticed he was keep smiling. I think he was laughing at me. I blame myself for being so stupid, I think I should tell a joke or tell him something really cool, but I couldn't. I found myself a terrible date. And it is all my fault. I just hope this dinner can be end as soon as possible.

I looked at him pay the bill, I already hopeless and was ready to go, but he suddenly said, ' I walk you back. '
Surprised again, I knocked and followed him.

We walked slowly, without talking. I found there were some girls looking at us, oh wrong, looking at him. Long is so perfect, Long is so handsome, Long is so cool.

I felt shame again. I am only a 18 girl, I even wear the dress which my mother bought me for 16-year-old's birthday. And I am in Chongqing, a city famous for beauties, the girls' skin here are so white and clean because of the lowest ULtraviolet of whole China, and they are so skinny, their cloths all in the smallest size.

Why Long even asked me out?

We arrived at my dorm, where the boys are not allowed to step in. He took my phone-number, then said good-night.

I went back to the room, all the other five girls were all there, the moment they saw me they all stand up, and asked me for
all the details of the date.

I answered it was OK, then I went to the shower, blocked everybody outside.

I turned on the water, standing in this pathatic little bathroom. The water start touching my skin. I look at my body, I first see the breast, they are just like a 18-year-old girl's breast, they are shy and elastic, the nipple is like a tiny flower's bud, never be moisted, never be kissed. I touched it with my finger, it soon blossom, like a slightly electric power is coming from my finger into my body, a feeling I never had before makes me couldn't stop it. I start thinking about Long's face, thinking about his sweaty body after he played the basketball. I hold my breath, slowly moving my finger. To my belly, my leg, my hand is mot my hand anymore. The hand comes back to the secret place of sin, it is hiding somewhere, I know, I know there is something there can change my hole life, I know there is something there will give me a pleased that I never experience before. I feel so nervous, I touched it, carefully, I know this place is a shame that we Chinese never talk about, I remember my mother told me how important this is for me to marry a good husband, but, just for this time, I want to know, what is it feels like.

A pleasure feeling come straight up to the top of my head, I opened my eyes, stopped immediately.

I don't know what was that, because, I think, only when you put something inside you will have good feeling, right? I remember from some books(which I read under my cover with my flashlight) or the movies, the girl only go crazy when the guy put his......into her, right?

But I still feel so shame about that feeling. I should never touched myself like this, I should never think about a guy's face while I did it!

I washed my finger under the water, again and again. Then I dry myself, came out from the bathroom like nothing happened.