Coming Clean

Laundry holds no great mystery. Clothes go in dirty and come out clean. The concept is not elusive. But not everyone grows up doing laundry, especially in a laundry mat. Some go through life to find themselves, one daunting day, standing in front of the hollow beast clueless about how to charm its cleaning powers. Avoidance provides no solution. Although many find doing laundry second nature, those who have never visited a laundry mat can overcome inexperience and avert embarrassment by following a few careful instructions on preparing the laundry, using the washing machine, and figuring out how to pay.

Instead of dumping piles of dirty laundry in the floor at the laundry mat, a person should sort the laundry at home ahead of time. One should lay out the laundry into piles of whites, brights, and darks. Then one needs to sort by weight and size. Heavy items, like jeans and towels, can ruin lightweight items, so one needs to create a separate load just for them. Large items as well, like bedding and tablecloths, require adequate agitation room and need to be separated. Finally, one places the piles in baskets or bags and goes to the laundry mat.

Once at the laundry mat, one must face the washing machine and master its talents. First, one opens the lid, reading the instructions printed inside. Washing machine models are different, so understanding the differences helps. Next, following the steps on the lid, one puts in the load, distributes the weight evenly, and selects the water temperature and level. Finally, one puts in soap and softener if desired. One closes the lid and hits the button to start. Nothing happens. One need not worry. The washing machine has not broken. This just means time has come for the last step.

Figuring out how and where one needs to pay can be the most challenging part of a laundry mat visit. Most laundry mat machines require quarters to run. If one places quarters in the cup in the washing machine to pay one may spend hours trying to fish the change out. Instead, one should look for a lever with slots usually on the top or side of the machine. One slips the quarters into the slots, and slides the tray into the machine. This may require great effort. Once done properly, the machine will start; a sure sign of success.

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but laundry mats are not church. No need for confessionals if something goes wrong. One should simply act innocent, blame the machinery, and then privately call for help, preferably someone who will not tell. One must remember, following these simple guidelines, with the steps listed above, helps one get one in and out of the laundry mat with minimal embarrassment and hassle. Of course, anyone tasked with laundry should keep in mind the golden rule of laundry: it is always better to get someone else to do the laundry, if at all possible.