Writings in Early Morning

Society's Champion

         "And to your left," the tour guide spouted in fake cheer, "you can see the left-side windows. These windows were installed in 1990 blah, blah, etc. carrying on and soforth, and quite a bit of cake it was!" The bus (at least the chaperones) laughed appreciatively at the will of the entrancing tour guide with his painfully clashing fake demeanor and scripted quips. All laughed, except for Alan, who had the tendency to drift off in the middle of everything.

         To him, the tour was another opportunity to exercise the imagination, staring out the window, wondering what it would look like if Sonic the Hedgehog was running across yon hill. Of course, he would not have anyone know of his childish daydreaming.

         Snapping into reality, he processed the waning laughter, weighed it against the duration of the laughter he had missed, and attempted to recover lost laughter time by conveying high levels of "enthusiasm" and "amusement". Yes. It always works.

         "HAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," he screamed in a fit of recovery. And the entire group definitely didn't stare at him in awkward silence. And he definitely was not ashamed. And society definitely embraced him a little tighter and sighed lovingly. And he definitely didn't feel a piece of paranoia enter the puzzle that was definitely not representative of his deep anxiety.



Karl the Kloset Klezmer Karoling Karniverous Karnal Karnival Klown

         On this happy morning, we celebrate the kapture of Oktoklown, the konniving kriminal mastermind who kaused many a krime. His kallous aktions kan only be deskribed as kold and kaustic. Ok, I'm done with this bullshit. K the KKKKKKK was a horrible idea.



Oh, That John

         We all know John. John is just that kind of guy, you know. He would do that sort of thing. Nobody should ever be surprised if John one day just showed up and actually did it. I know I wouldn't. And John expects each and every one of us to agree on that. I think John wouldn't mind if I called him up right now and asked him straightforward if he's going to do it. You know John, not big on secrets. Yep, just called him. He said he's going to do it, pulling out all stoppers, just all over the benefit dinner. Just everywhere. Everything. Everyone. John doesn't discriminate. He provides equal opportunity service. He did want to know if you wanted to join him, though. He said he needs more talent. So I offered our service. I know I'm joining in. Are you? See you at the benefit dinner.