Where is the door?

From a deep dreamless sleep, my eyes slowly open and the only thing I could see is pitch darkness. There is nothing, but the shade of profound black solitude. The flick of light in my small window is not enough to penetrate this maddening place. It is as if that flick of light is just a fragment of something hopeful yet unreachable. I deliberately sit on my bed and widened my eyes. Nothing…again, I can see nothing. But to tell the truth, I’m not even blind to see nothing. I’m starting to get tired of it. This is the only thing that awaits me either when I’m awake or asleep. Do I deserve this? But I don’t have any courage to stand up and walk to this obscurity and find the door away from here. How should I know where the door is? Does anyone have the right to slur me of becoming a big coward? I’ve never even set my foot meter away from this dusty bed. I don’t have the courage to go for something uncertain, because I’m afraid to fail and can never find my way back to this safe haven. From the moment I first opened my eyes, this dusty worn bed is my only world; my small eerie world. But I’m tired…too tired to even think of staying my entire life in this limited world. I need to find the door. I need to get out. I need to have a real life. Courageously as I can be, I stand up for the first time in my life. My body feels imbalanced, like a child learning to walk. Nevertheless, I’ve already decided. I’m going to put all my faith in these feet of mine. I take a step towards the unseen floor and I felt great excitement flowing in my veins. Another step and I felt like I should have done this before. Third step and I felt like I’m halfway there. Then…fourth step and I felt that I shouldn’t have done this at all. “Do you have to go?” A small voice came from nowhere. I turned my head around, but I know it will only be useless. “Do you have to leave?”
“Yes” I answered abruptly.
“What if you can’t find it?”
“I won’t give up.”
“What if you trip and can never stand up again?”
“Then I’ll crawl until I reach for it.”
There was a long pause then the voice said “Are you even sure that there is a door?” and then the voice smirk
My body freezes and my mind went blank. Without thinking, without noticing, I take one huge step back to my dusty bed. I can feel my body trembling and crystal drops of water flows in my cold cheeks. I sat heavily on my bed as it made a thud sound. Disappointed, hopeless, I broke down into million pieces. I grasp for my blanket and heave a deep sigh. It took a while for the voice to speak again with a mocking tone.
“You know...the world is really life’s thousand pounds of hell.”
After that, I lie on my old dusty bed and sleep again.