not my time!

as i lay in the hospital in agony, i cry and scream. theyve givin me all the morphine i can take. the pain is unbearable my little girl is standing by my side bawling her eyes out i want to be the dad i was 6 months ago i want to comfort her but all i can do is hug her and say 'itll be allright' but then id be lying to her and myself becuz i only hav 24 short hours to live. my family doesnt know it yet but i can feel each organ slowly quitting on me. my family is in just as much pain as i am right now and i cant be the strong father im supposed to be! i dont want leave my family but god believes otherwise. its not my time! i promised to walk my daughter down the aisle to be there in the front row when she graduated college! 'Please God im begging you! DONT TAKE ME AWAY!' is all i wanna scream! my sons all gather around my bed i tell them 'please take good care of your mother and sister my life is ending very soon' and all sigh and say ' okay dad we promise' its been almost 12 hours i cant feel my legs.
Each hour feels like a lifetime. theyve givin me every last ounce of morphine and pain killers. everyone is still crying hysterically. i want my little girl to smile again it kills me too know she wont have a dad anymore i want her to know that even though im not here with her ill always be in her heart. i try to explain to everyone what i want done and how i want everything to happen but they wont listen i see my grandchildren crying, my own children i cant bare to see it any longer i ask my wife to have the nurse sedate me i can go peacefully in my sleep the last thing i remember is seeing my children standing above me crying i feel my little girl kiss me and give me a big soft warm hug...
im gonna miss this when im gone is all i think. my baby girl is my securaety blanket my baby girl is my...EVERYTHING! i wanna stay! i dont wanna leave! STUPID! why did i tell them to sedate me? im so stupid i couldve stayd with them a little longer! my life is coming to an end my heart is beating slower eachtime i only have a few short hours left to live my world is slowly crashing down i dont feel my pulse anymore i cant hear anything my life is over my heart stopped... I hate this but...


MY TIME IS NOW!!!!!!!!!!

GOODBYE!

Dennis L Miller
November 20, 1952 to April 21, 2007

R.I.P DENNIS L MILLER ( MY DEAR DADDY)