Broken Attachments

Eighty kilometers per hour and counting. Every time the speed meter increases takes me farther from you. I did not want to hurt you. I did not want to hurt myself. But as I think of all the possibilities, I know there can never be a future for us. You belong with the stars, while I’m a good solid earth. I will never be able to reach you no matter what.

You said you love me. I wish I could believe that, I wish I could embrace that possibility. But no, the hardest thing for me to understand is how someone like you could fall in love with someone like me. I resisted. I kept resisting until I can bear no more. I fell too. You have been what I have always wanted. You have the kindness that spoke directly to my soul. You love freely. And you loved me, no questions asked. One by one you broke my resistance. You climbed the icy wall I have built around myself. I never believed for one moment that I could have a wonderful person like you.  I still never believe. You said I was a walking cliché of a person who is so scared; one who’s willing to throw everything away. It hurt. And it was true.

You brought me to your world after I’ve let you in. I basked in your attention; you showered me with everything that I longed to feel. You made me feel things I can only imagine. You took me to the stars and kept me there. I am Alice, living in your wonderland. But my stubborn head won’t have it for long. I can’t fit in when I’m not with you. It breaks my heart every time I see you around the people you should be around. It breaks me even more that I only have to accept your ring and I will be one of those people who mattered. Slowly I tried to walk away. And maybe you got tired of running after me, you let me go. And now as I reach the speed limit to this city that witnessed my heartbreak, I know that I can either turn back, pick up his heart or I can continue driving away and break our hearts even more. After all, broken hearts still beat…right?