All Because Of A Wreck

        We were at a party and it was getting hot and I was getting tired. "Rex, Honey, can we go home? I really need to get in the bed because I have school in the morning. I need to get the best grades I can so that I can go on and take the Certification Exam soon." My fiancé ignored me as he had done the whole time. I went over and talked to my friend, Tim. "Hey! What's up, Stacey?" Tim was cheerful, as usual. "Hey! Not much, you?" Ever since we had broken up, it was not much more than small talk between the two of us. Rex caught site of us talking and walked over. "I'm so sorry, Tim. Rex is coming. I need to go see what he wants. I'll talk to you later, ok?" I walked over to Rex and he took my arm. "Ouch, Rex! That hurts! Let go of me!" I tried to wrench my arm free but it wasn't going anywhere. Tim walked over and saw what was happening. "Rex, let her go." Tim gave Rex a very daring look and Rex let go of me. "Humph! Maybe you should consider marrying him since you like spending so much time with him, Stacey." Rex walked off without an ounce of guilt.

        Tim looked me straight in the eyes. "Stacey, you shouldn't take that from him. You used to take such better care of yourself against him. Are you alright?" He really cared and it hurt me to see his eyes filled with care and hurt. "I have to go. I need to go home so I can get in bed. I have a big test coming up. I'll talk to you later, Tim." I went and told Rex I was leaving and he just said whatever. I got into my car and started to leave. Tim stopped me. "Stacey, you are mad. Please don't drive. I have a feeling in my gut that something is going to happen." I looked at him and stared at his face. "I'm sorry, Tim. I have to drive." I drove off.



    "The school work is hard, but I enjoy it. It is hard being a college student and a solider, but I'm making it. The job at the hospital isn't too bad and I get paid well…" These things kept running through my head as I drove to my parents' house. "At the end of the semester, I will be able to go to Atlanta to take my certification test. My dreams are coming true!"

    The paramedics were shining a light in my eyes. "Stop!" I was crying and yelling. "Stop!" This time when I yelled stop, I punched at the light trying to make it go off. Someone grabbed my arms and held them down. I heard a ringing noise and I couldn't feel my right arm or my legs. "Turn off that light please! I can't feel my legs or my arm! Please stop that ringing!" I was begging and pleading -something I never did.

    Suddenly, I was being lifted onto a helicopter. "No! I'm scared of heights! No!-" everything went black.

    The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital in a white gown in a hospital bed. I tried to lift up onto my right arm but when I did, pain shot thought it. I didn't notice the tears streaming down my cheeks as I screamed out in pain. A face I recognized cane running into the room. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you in pain?" The man looked worried and mad. "Yes, I'm in pain. That is what is wrong. Am I really crying? Who are you and why do I recognize your face and voice but not know who you are?" The man gave me some pills for the pain and looked at my arm. "Yeah, you were crying." He wiped the tears from my face. "I'm Doctor Tim Marvin. You really don't remember me?" Dr. Marvin seemed hurt. The fact I was in a hospital just registered in my mind. "No, I really don't remember you. Why am I here?"

    He just stared at me. "Stacey, that hurts. It really does. You had a wreck last night. A drunk driver ran a stop sign and almost killed you. Then, when we were trying to get you to wake up and were doing some tests to make sure you weren't blind or deaf or anything, you started screaming at us. You punched me in the eye, too. That hurt too, by the way. You really had us scared. We called your name for five minutes and then we yelled it when you started yelling at us, but you didn't seem to notice. Then, you said something about something ringing. As of right now, we don't really know-." Everything went black again.

    Someone was holding my hand. My eyes were open, but I didn't see. Everything was silent and I couldn't move. I was scared. I tried to talk but no sound came out. I didn't know what to do and felt my heart drop. I didn't care about living anymore. Laying there was depressing. I went to sleep.

    I could see when I woke up. It was amazing. I looked around. I was still in my bed. Dr. Marvin seemed to be asleep in the chair by my bed. I tried to call his name. I didn't hear anything, but he jumped out of the chair. He leaned over the side of my bed and I watched his lips move. "I can't hear you." He looked worried. An idea came to me. "Write it down. I'll read it." He searched the room until he found a pen and a pad of paper. "Are you alright?" His handwriting was beautiful. "I'm fine but why can't I hear and why can I barely move?" He wrote frantically. "I don't know. You scared me and everyone else, Stacey." Tears formed in my eyes. "I'm really sorry. I really am. I don't know what is wrong with me." I started crying. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Dr. Marvin hugged me and wiped away the tears. He stayed there even as I fell asleep.

    I could see, talk, and hear when I woke up, but I couldn't move. "Hello?" It sounded like someone jumped out of their seat across the room. "I'm coming, Stacey. Oh, she can't hear. What did I do with that pen and paper? I swear. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached." I laughed. "I can hear, and see. I can't move and it is driving me nuts!" He smiled. "Want to move around a little bit?" I shut my eyes. "I can't move, remember?" His smile became bigger. He walked over to me. "I'm going to move you." Before I knew what was happening, Dr. Marvin had picked me up. "Where would you like to go, Stacey? I'll take you anywhere- in the hospital." We laughed. Dr. Marvin's laugh was mesmerizing. "I don't see how you can pick me up, much less carry me." He got a serious look on his face. "I'm Superman. Didn't you know?" I knew it was a joke, but I wanted to believe it. "Alright, Superman, I don't care where we go." With this, he walked out of the room toward the roof of the hospital.

    "Yeah, Superman, I'm scared of heights. Please tell me that we aren't on the roof of the hospital." He just laughed and placed me in one of the few chairs out there. "I thought some sunlight would do you some good." The city smelt bad but the clouds were beautiful. We stared at them and talked until his voice lulled me to sleep.

    Tears rolled down my cheeks from the eyes from which I couldn't see. The pain held my mouth shut. My body was tense as fire shot through it. "Tim!" I managed to say that one word before another rush of pain and fire shot through me. I could feel my body writhe upon my bed. Someone rushed into the room but ran back out and yelled something. I couldn't hear because pain was rushing through me again. Tears fell even harder. The not knowing what was bothering me was driving me insane. "Stacey, talk to me. Say something." Tim's voice was full of worry. I could hear it. "Can't." The sound was a mere gasp but it was there. I passed out again.

    "I don't know what is wrong with her. I'm doing everything I can to find out and treat it. Last night, she woke up in pain and blind. She has been blind, deaf, unable to move, unable to talk, and fine- all at different times and some together. It's unnatural!" I couldn't see, still, but I could hear and move. "Tim? Who's there?" It was frustrating not knowing who was in the room. "Stacey, it's Tim. Your friend, Tiffany, your parents, and some guy are here to see you. Can you move? Are you in pain? Can you see?" I wondered who this guy was. "Yes. Not really but a little. No. Hey, Tiffany. Hey, Mama and Dad. Who is the guy?" I knew it was merely a gasp, but it had to be said. The guy, I think, started talking. "Honey, it's me, Rex. Don't you even remember your own fiancé?" I was shocked. "I didn't even know I had a fiancé. I really don't remember you. I'm sorry. But, if you say I'm your fiancé, I must be." I felt pain fly through my body at that instant. My jaw clenched and my body started writhing. I felt someone try to hold me down and I heard Tim yell. "Get out! Send a nurse in, but y'all stay out!" He was mad; I could hear it in his voice.

    I woke up to the sound of a telephone ringing. I was in a different room. "What?!" Tim was still mad and I thought I would wait until he calmed down a little bit before I told him I was awake. He glanced over toward me. "Well, she's up. Bye." He slammed the phone down, took a breath, and walked over to me. "Hey, Stacey. Feeling any better? Have any senses missing? In pain?" He smiled gently at me. "Yes, I think I have all of my senses. I'm feeling a lot better. Partially because you aren't mad at me- I don't think. The pain isn't as bad. Most of my body is numb, actually. What's wrong? Why are you so mad?" He looked at me. "Your body should be numb. It took a lot of Novocain to make your body stop spazzing. I'm glad you have all of your senses. We may have fixed that problem, though I have no clue how or with what. In fact, you are a complete mystery to me. I'm glad you are feeling better, though. Really, I am." His voice had a calming effect on me. I don't know how or why, but it did. "You didn't tell me why you are mad. Never mind, I'm sorry. It is none of my business. I'm sorry I'm so much trouble. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm really sorry." Tears came and refused to go away. Tim walked out of the room, mad- madder than I had ever seen anyone.

    A few hours later, Mama told me what Tim had done when he stormed out of the room. "He walked into the waiting room and knocked Rex out- in one punch. I was surprised he is that strong to tell you the truth. I think he has the hots for you, still." I started to laugh but the seriousness on Mama's face made me stop. "Mama, he can't have the hots for me. It is against the patient-doctor rules. You should know that." She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Just because they are rules doesn't mean anything. You should know that. You are going to be a nurse, remember? I think he knows that. Therefore, it wouldn't be against the rules." Mama laughed. She was in her matchmaking mood and there was no way to get her out of it. "Mama, am I really engaged to Rex?" My eyes showed worry. I didn't know who to believe and who not to. Mama looked away. "Mama?" She wouldn't look at me. It was getting annoying. "Fine, don't answer me. I don't care. I'm calling the engagement off because I don't remember him, anyways." Everything went black again.

    When I woke up, my head was pounding. I pushed the call button for a nurse to get something for a headache. As I waited, Tim walked in. "Hey, Sunshine." He had a bright smile on his face. "Hey." He checked my blood pressure and as he was glancing up at me, he noticed the nurse call button was lit. His smile ran from his face. "Why'd you need a nurse?" Tim reached over and turned it off. "I was going to ask for something for a headache. That isn't a problem, is it?" He smiled at me again. "Hang on and I'll get you something. So who was that Rex guy?" He seemed completely interested and refused to make eye contact with me as I told him. "I don't really remember him. I don't even remember his face. I think I'm going to call the engagement off since I don't remember him. Nothing about him is familiar. Why'd you knock him out?" He looked away again. "Who told you about that?" It seemed like he didn't want to talk about it. He began pacing back and forth. "What he did to you before. What made you get in that car when you mad like you were. The way he treats you. The things he says to you. The way he treats your parents. How he stole you from m-. Never mind. I just can't stand him. And the way he looked at you when you didn't remember him or that y'all were engaged. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad you called it off- if that is what you really wanted. You really don't remember him, Stacey?" Pain shot through my ears and eyes. My heart sank to the pits of my stomach. "I remember some of it now, but not a lot. I remember more about you than I do him. Most of what I remember about him, I don't like. I don't know-. Why did I agree to marry him then? Please, tell me, if you know. I know it would be against the patient-doctor rules, but I'm in the process of becoming an RN, so you can tell me." The pain in my eyes and ears was getting worse but I was blocking it out. I was finally getting some answers and I felt as though Tim wasn't telling me something very important, something that would… "What's wrong, Stacey?" His face softened as he reached toward my face. He wiped the tears from my face. His eyes widened. "Stacey, your face is burning!" He looked at the screen where my blood pressure and my temperature were being measured…they were steadily climbing. He started checking and yelling for a nurse. Tim was mad and scared. It was written all over his face.

    "Get me ice, now! I don't care if you have to fly to the North Pole, GET ME ICE! If you can't, our patient is studying to be an RN and I can offer her your job….GO!!" The nurse casually walked toward the door. Tim turned around and yelled at her. "RUN!! You know what? See me after I get my patient stabilized!" Anger polluted his handsome face and worry was the only thing that softened it. "Tim…" His whole attention turned to me. "Yes, Stacey, I'm here." I was getting weaker. "Get Rex for me, please. I need to tell him something very important." Even as hurt ran across his face, Tim ran into the next room and came back dragging Rex with him by the shirt collar. "Here he is, Stacey." Rex's jaw was bruised and you could actually hear the tension between he and Tim crackle through the air. "Come here, Rex." I sat up and he walked over. "Come closer, Honey." Rex came even closer. "Rex, I hate you and I never want to see your face again." When I had finished saying this, I socked him in the jaw, where it had already been bruised. He started screaming at me, so Tim grabbed him and drug him back out of the room with a smirk across his face and filled his beautiful brown eyes.

    When Tim walked back in, he walked over to me and smiled. He started talking in a very seducing voice and I had the feeling that he could get me to do whatever he wanted me to at that time with that voice. "You know you used most of your strength right then, don't you?" I nodded my head. All I wanted to do was sleep. It was as if Tim read my mind. "You can't sleep yet. I- I mean we- have to get your fever down first. Then you can sleep. I promise- as long as nothing goes wrong. I'll let you sleep as soon as I can." the nurse Tim had sent to get ice casually strolled back into the room. Anger, once again, covered his face and this time, nothing softened it. "Bring me the ice, stay here until another nurse gets here, and then, go home. You are fired and I'll make sure you get your pay. Come by my office Monday morning." Tim started pounding on the nurse call button.

    Another nurse walked in and started to walk back out. "No, you're staying." He looked at the other nurse. "You're dismissed." He checked the ice he had surrounded my body with and began to pound on the nurse call button once again. "Get me another IV. She needs it." Another nurse walked in. She must have noticed the melting ice around my body and the temperature on the monitor at my bedside. "Ice?" Tim nodded his head and the nurse dashed out of the room. Tim seemed impressed. "I'll work like that when I become a RN. I swear," I murmured. "I know, Stacey. And everyone will want you as their employee. You will be a great RN." He smiled at me and I broke down into tears.

    "What's wrong, Stacey?" You could tell that he was getting aggravated. "I'm sorry. I just got that girl fired and now I have annoyed you. It would be better if I had never been born." You could see how much he hated Rex Right then. "What has Rex said and done to you? Stacey, you used to be so full of life. I don't know how much longer I can look at you in this hospital bed, but I will be here for you, even if I have to get someone else to be your doctor. I promise. I think you can go to sleep now if you would like to. Your temperature is stabilized. I'm staying in here though. Sweet dreams, my Stacey." He wiped my eyes. My face had tear stains and I really wanted to take a shower, but I knew the answer would be "no," so I went to sleep, planning on asking about a shower the next morning.

    Tim had kept his promise- as far as I know- because every time I began to wake up, he told me to go back to sleep; every time I did that for about seven hours or so. I didn't dream- or at least any that I remembered.

    When I woke up this time, Tim was asleep. I felt like I could walk, so I stood up very carefully and walked over to Tim. I covered him with a fleece blanket that had been draped across the end of my bed since he had a chilled look about him. I pulled my IV with me to the bathroom so I could take a shower. It had been a long time since I had stood up or taken a shower by myself.

    When I walked out, clean and in a new gown, Tim was still sleeping, but the blanket had slipped off of one of his shoulders and he kept putting his hand on his tie as if it was bothering him. Gently, I pulled the blanket back on his shoulder. I carefully loosened the tie and when I was almost done getting it off; Tim grabbed my right wrist with the hairline fracture.

    "Tim, calm down. It's me, Stacey." I grabbed at his wrist with my left hand. Pain shot through my right one. "Tim, you're hurting me. Please let me go. Please. This hurts. Please, Tim." I was crying and Tim was still sleeping. My whole arm was throbbing. "Tim, wake up, please! You're hurting me!" He started waking up. "Tim!" He jumped up, dragging my arm with him. My already clenched jaws clenched even harder, as I tried to keep myself from screaming out loud. I swallowed the scream but it stayed in my throat. His hold on my wrist didn't loosen until I screamed and passed out.

    When I woke up, it was dark outside the window. Tim was in the chair beside my bed. He still had his tie half off. Tim was wide awake. "Hey, Stacey. I'm really sorry about your arm. I didn't know that I had it. I feel really bad about that. I was still asleep and I don't know how I grabbed your right wrist since that couldn't have been the hand on my tie. Why were you holding my tie anyways? Why did you even get out of bed? Why didn't I hear you?" You could tell he was scolding himself. "I was going to take your tie off of your neck because you looked uncomfortable with it on. I got out of bed to put a blanket around you and to take a shower. I felt fine. I made sure not to my arm for anything and I have no clue how you slept through me taking a shower. After you grabbed my arm, I was talking to you and I screamed your name but you didn't wake up- even after you jumped out of the chair. You've been working too hard. Tim, I'll be fine, but you won't be. Please stop working so hard before you kill yourself."

    A look of hurt rushed on his face and you could tell he was trying to hide it. "Stacey." He paused. "Stacey, I still feel bad. There is no reason for me to have done that. I'm a doctor and I should be able to control myself better than that. I'm not a good doctor, I guess. I-." Tears had formed in the edges of his eyes. "Tim, have you even gone home in the last week? And I don't mean going home for an hour to shower and change, then come back. Don't give me a long-winded answer; just yes or no." When he didn't answer me, I knew that he hadn't. Just as I started to tell him to go home, there was a knock at the door. Tim looked at me, and then told the person at the door to come in.

    A gasp involuntarily escaped my lips. "Feeling any better, Sweetheart?" Rex started walking toward me, but Tim stopped him. "Let me by, Doctor." Tim didn't move. "No. She called y'all's engagement off and she isn't ready for visitors." Tim was angry. "Oh, she isn't? Is that because of what you did to her yesterday?" I grabbed Tim's arm. "Tim, don't worry about it. Rex, please leave. I don't want to talk to you. Don't make a scene for once." Rex had anger flaming in his eyes.

    Rex knocked Tim down and then charged at me. He grabbed my right arm and put his other hand around my neck. Pain and fire were shooting through my body that was writhing upon the bed trying to oxygen. My eye sight was failing. My body was already lacking oxygen from everything else that was wrong and now all of my oxygen supply was shut off. Tim stood up slowly then ran at Rex. "Let go of her, Rexwena! I mean it! You are going to kill her if you don't!" Rex didn't loosen his grip in the slightest. He smiled at Tim. "Good. Then the world will have one less backstabber to deal with Then, I'll kill you. When that happens, I won't have any more problems. If Stacey doesn't want to be with me, she wont be with anyone." He had a look of triumph in his eyes when he looked at me. He didn't know that Tim was about to poke a needle of anesthesia in his back.

    Rex's grip on my throat finally loosened, but my throat had bruises on it from his hands. Tim was mad. You could tell Rex had hurt him. Emotionally or physically, I don't know, but pain written clearly across his face. It was amazing how much emotion I read on his face that no one else seemed to see. It was amazing what you could see when someone didn't know you were looking at them. His face was emotion and nothing more.

    "Tim, are you ok? You look like you are hurt bad." I walked over, past Rex, and looked at him. He winced when I touched his chest. I looked at him again, but he looked away. "Let me look. You are hurt. Seriously, please let me look." He wouldn't look at me. Carefully and patiently, I started lifting his shirt to look at his chest. Tears had formed in Tim's eyes. "You shouldn't. You have been through enough today, Stac-." Tim looked like he was about to pass out and that is what he did. I fell with him to the floor as I tried to catch him. Rex was still asleep on the floor. I maneuvered Tim to the couch and got him on it. I ran to the nurse call button and banged on it many times. I thought of moving Rex out of the middle of the floor as I ran back toward Tim. I decided he was fine where he was.

    My jaw dropped as I saw the rest of Tim's chest. It was already bandaged and there were cuts and bruises all over it. I began to put off the bloody bandages. Tim looked as if he had been a wreck -not long ago, within a week. I got some antibiotic and bandages out of the cabinet on the other side of the room. I checked his breathing and pulse every minute.

    While I was cleaning his cuts on his chest, Tim started waking up. He groaned and I knew that he was in pain. "Shh. I'm almost done. What happened to you, Tim?" He shut his eyes. "Umm. I was in a wreck. Why aren't you in bed? You shouldn't be out of bed after what Rex did to you. Especially after you were in a wreck a week ago. Come on, now. Back in bed. I'll finish this up." He noticed the nurse call button was lit. "How long has that been on? Why did you press it in the first place?" Tim looked worried. "Calm down. It has only been on a little while since I pushed it. And I pressed it so I could get you help and someone to take Rex out of the floor. But you passed out so I started bandaging your chest back up." I looked at his face and then to the couch and then his face. I ran back over to the sink and got a wet cloth from by the sink. I came back to him and washed the make-up off of his face. There were cuts and bruises all over it. He winced and groaned though the whole thing. I felt bad for putting him through the pain. When tears began to fall from his eyes, I wiped them away and tried to hide the tears spilling onto my cheeks.

    "Stacey, listen. You don't have to do this. I'm your doctor, remember? You don't have to take care of me." His eyes were soft and pure of heart. "I know, but it is my fault that you aren't resting like you should be and that Rex hurt you. Besides, I want to help you. You don't mind do you? Oh, and when did you get in a wreck?" His wounds didn't look that old and I just thought about him saying that he was there when I had been in the wreck, but he wasn't a paramedic. "Stacey. It's not that I don't want you to help me, it's just that I saw the wreck you were in. I saw them cut you out of that car. I would have been dead and I don't see how you are alive. No, that isn't why I took such an interest in you. God, I wish you remembered everything before then -everything before Rex stole you from me." His jaw dropped. "I didn't mean to say that, Stacey. I was going to let you remember everything on your own." Tim put his head in his hands in disgrace. I moved his hand, but he let his head hang. I bent my head so it was close to his. Tim wouldn't look at me. "You might want to turn off that nurse call, Stacey."

    I didn't stand up. I didn't even move. I wiped the tears from his eyes. "Tim, don't worry about it. Everything is fine. I'm fine. Don't blame yourself. Come on, Tim." He still wouldn't look at me or lift his head. I looked straight into his eyes and felt his pain. It didn't look like he was breathing though. I made his lay back straight. I opened the door to my room and yelled for a nurse. I was too mad at Rex and no one could do anything about it -not now. I let my thoughts of Rex and how much I hated him go away as I went out and yelled for a nurse -again.

    After another fifteen minutes, a nurse casually strolled into the room. "Do you know how long ago I pushed that nurse call? Do you know how many times I yelled for a nurse before anyone even came?" Anger covered my face completely. The nurse could tell I was mad and she did almost everything. I said. "Tim's chest is messed up really bad and he is barely breathing. Help him. I'll get Rex out of here and then I'll be back." The nurse rushed over to Tim and I started to drag Rex out. I tried to lift him onto a stretcher and as I did, Tim walked out and helped me. "Tim, go lay down in there. Go, now." He shook his pale head. "No. I'll be fine. You go get your butt in your bed. I'm your doctor, remember? What I say goes, understand me? And I say now!" I didn't laugh -I didn't even smile. "I will when you do. I'll sleep on the couch so that you can lay down straight. I'm not debating it, either." Tim looked me straight in the eyes. "No. You will sleep in your bed. I will get Rex up on the stretcher. Then, I will go home. Now, go get in your bed!" I looked at his face.

    His face was clouded with authority but it was softened by true care. "Tim, I'm getting better. My arm is healing and I'm being careful not to use it. Or else, I would already have Rex up on this stretcher! Please, go lay down. Please, then I will come and lay down. That bed is making me hurt anyways. Please--." Tim looked like he was having trouble breathing again. "Nurse! Come here!" I let go of Rex and stepped closer to Tim as he began to fall. Together, we fell to the ground. Tim landed on my arm. The pain was killing me. The world went black.

    "Tim!" I ran over to him. "Stacey!" He started running toward me. A guy appeared out of nowhere. "Whoa!" I looked around. Everything was black… but it was very peaceful. "Stacey, are you ok? Com on, man. Can I please get by?" The man wouldn't let Tim and I get together. It seemed that the more we tried to reach one another, the further apart we would get. "Tim, stand still." He looked hurt, but he stopped moving. The other man looked at me. "Smart girl, Stacey. Good eye for detail. You would make a great doctor, like Tim here. Why stop yourself at being a RN? Yeah, I know that. Do either of you know who I am?" Tim just stared at me. "Stacey, this must be some kind of truck. Don't say anything." I was thinking hard. I knew this man but I didn't know where from. "You… You are God?" The man laughed and Tim looked scared. "Very good, my child. Tim, here, doesn't seem to remember me from when I placed him in his mothers womb at conception. I am surprised you do."

    I looked Tim straight in the eyes. "Please, don't hurt Tim! Take me instead! I'll give you anything!" God and Tim both looked at me. Tears ran down my cheeks. Tim tried to come to me but he couldn't. "God, please let me go to her. Whether you know it or not, I love her… just like I have since I met her. Just…please. I'll give anything." God looked at both of us. I felt my heart drop. God had a menace look in his eyes. "Since Tim didn't notice me, one of you will have to give up something-." I opened my mouth and yelled. "I will! Just make Tim whole again. Don't let him feel guilty for it. Just take whatever from me; my ability to write, talk, walk, whatever- I don't care. Just please, make Tim better and let him go back to his regular life." Tears poured from my already red eyes. It seemed as if I had been crying a lot lately. Jesus looked me in the eyes.

    I woke up and didn't remember anything. I was in my hospital bed once again, but as I looked for Tim, I didn't see him. I tried to sit up, but I wouldn't. I felt around my bedside for my glasses. Finally, I found them, but as I pulled them over the side of the bed, I found something tied to them. It was a letter. I untied the very simple knot and began to read the letter as I put my glasses on. Here is what it said:



        "Dear Stacey,



        "You may not remember what happened, but I do. I remember everything you were willing to give up for me. I don't know if it was simply a general act of kindness or if you really love me, but after Jesus sent you back to Earth, He and I had a long talk. He told me that the only reason he brought both of us to Heaven was so that he could talk to me and I would be able to see you one last time. I can't tell you what actually was said, but it was amazing. I can't believe what you were willing to give up for me. I have no clue why you would do that unless it was something you would do for anyone. Stacey, I still love you. I don't know if you remember before, but I do. I paid your family not to say anything after you were in that wreck. I know you told me that you would be fine that night, but I had a feeling in my gut that you wouldn't be, so I got in my car and followed you. I guess you were too upset to notice. I'm sorry, I knew I should have passed you when I had the chance right before the wreck. I had a feeling in my gut, but I pushed it away. I do know what I was thinking, but there isn't anything I can do about that now. I saw that guy running the stop sign as you were starting to pull out. I called "911". There was no way to avoid a wreck. My heart completely dropped and broke.



        "The whole reason for Jesus bringing us both to Heaven, was for us to say good-bye for the last time. He was so touched by your eagerness to sacrifice everything you were for me to live, he let me write this letter explaining everything for you, before I went in the pearly gates. He told me that the only reason you had all of those problems after the wreck, was because your brain was over burdened. You were trying to block everything that Rex had done to you while you were feeling guilty for hurting someone and you worried about everything and everyone else. Stacey, I'm so sorry for everything that he did to you. I should have talked to you into leaving him or something. I don't regret getting into the fight with him even though it led to my death. The only thing I regret about it is the fact that I will never be able to see you again.



        "Well I have to go. It's time to go. Jesus said he would give you this letter for me. Stacey, although I haven't said it in a long time, I love you, and I always have and will. I'll watch you from Heaven. Remember, you are never alone. I'll always be here.



                        "Love you even when we are apart,



                                "Tim Marvin"



    Tears rolled down my cheeks. Not because I remembered everything now, but because I knew Tim was dead. He had killed himself trying to take care of me. He should have been at a hospital in a hospital bed instead of taking care of me. There was no way for me to calm my tears. I cried myself to sleep as I had done many times in the past week or so.

    Mama woke me up. "Sweetheart, do you want to go to Tim's funeral? We thought we were going to lose you, too. You slept for more than two days straight and when you woke up, you cried yourself back to sleep." I sat up in my bed. My head was pounding and I felt like I was dying inside. "Oh, Mama! I was so stupid for leaving Tim! I loved him so much! Yes, I must go to his funeral… I have a feeling in my gut that something will happen." Mama looked me straight in the eyes. "Sweetheart, as you remember Tim, he will always be here. Just because someone isn't here in person, doesn't mean that they aren't here in spirit. Everyone and everything dies someday, but they are never dead." Tears fell from our cheeks as hard as the rain thumping on the windowsill.

    I got up and got dressed to go to Tim's funeral. That was the hardest think I ever had to do. I still don't know why Tim died instead of me. I guess I will never know….