To Hell and Back Again

    I'm don't think I'm a such bad guy.  You can't please everyone all the time.  Sometimes, you have to make some difficult choices in life.  Sometimes you do things that disappoint people.  Success often comes at a cost and one person's idea of success might equal someone else's idea of failure.

    Do I regret what I've done in life?  Would I do things differently?  Everyone has regrets in their life.  Would I do things differently knowing the eventual outcome?  Sure.  But you just have to do with what you got when you got it. 

    For instance, I have this woman tied up in the basement.  She isn't going to break my knots and get away.  This isn't my first rodeo.  Wish she would quit screaming for help.  She should learn to just accept her circumstances and accept her fate.  I have.

         I'm a zombie.  Well, I think I'm a zombie any way.  What happens when you die, you are sentenced to hell, and then they reject you because they are fully-occupied?  Then, I'm sent back to live on Earth with this carnal desire burning inside me for human flesh.

         Strangely, I don't really like the taste of human flesh and have to marinade it properly to make it palettable.  Took some time because the Internet, even with all the depraved things on it, does not have a good recipe for marinading human flesh. 

         Is eating human all that depraved?  I'm a zombie and that's what we do.  I'm not a brainless or heartless zombie.  Usually, I just hunt for the humans who are going to hell any way.  Like the woman in the basement was a harlot who engaged in fantasies and depravities that even made me wince.  I'm going to have to wash her a few times. 

         Eating her would, I think, would actually be more humane.  When she finds out that hell rejects her application, she won't have to return to Earth in her body.  Not really sure what what would happen to her actually.  Maybe she will just be floating in limbo for eternity.  Beats slaving to an eternity of eating human flesh and people running in fear from you.

         Now, eating humans makes it difficult to befriend humans and makes for a lonely life.  I thought about raising humans like chickens.  But that would take someone of no heart.  It would be like eating your dog.  That's just wrong.

         I have met some zombies and it's nice to meet someone in the same boat as you.  But do you really want to trust someone who should be in hell?  Plus, when you're a zombie, you are close to being indestructible.  They just don't take care of themselves.  It's disgusting.  C'mon, people, you could still take a shower once in a while and find some nice clothes.  Brush your teeth and hair.  Take some pride.  Zombies can be more than just re-animated corpses hungering for human flesh. 

         I'm going to do something with my second life.  I have more time now so I could pursue some of the dreams I had in my earlier life.  Hiking down the Grand Canyon would be easier and I'm not too worried about dying from parachuting out of a plane.  I've thought about writing a book, "To Hell and Back Again."  Or maybe I should just make a cook book on how to properly grill humans.  They taste really good with a red wine.