A Place to Run

                                                  A Place to Run

         Stumbling over a loose shoelace she fell. Her knees and hands skidded across the mud accompanied by the distant howls of laughter. Back on her feet, mud smeared across her cheek as she wiped at the tears that were now flowing freely, she ran. She shouldn't have been so stupid as to think they wanted to be friends. The mocking giggles as she had shyly reached out to take his hand, the blank moment before the reality of the situation set in.
She ran on. The mocking love note falling from her hands.
         The heavy thudding of her feet jolted through her entire body, a sob tugging at her already tired lungs. The cool air felt sharp inside her chest stopping her for a moment.  She wiped the sleeve of an oversized school jumper across first her eyes then her nose. Slowly she became aware that the traffic hum and chatter of the estate seemed distant and glancing up she realised she was across the fields at the edge of the small wood. It was a familiar though usually distant sight from her desk at school. Gulping down another sob and taking a long slow breath she looked around.
         The trees at the sedge  were fairly well spread, thick tufts of grass and hopeful flowers scattered between. Green light glowed through the waving foliage the dipping sun causing long shadows to streak out behind her across the pale dry grass.
         She stepped forward, the trees appeared to be holding  out their branches welcoming her. A sense of quiet awe was only slightly marred but the scattered beer bottles and cigarette ends that littered the ground to one side of her.
         Delving deeper. Low branches pushed aside from her passage leaving such signs of humanity behind. A distant rumble of traffic, a distant shout, became sounds from another world. A place separate from this small timeless bubble. She paid no heed as brambles scratched at her legs, catching on her tights to leave small holes and the inevitable ladders. The scents of bark and leaves blended in her senses with the dappled green and brown of sight to form one single impression.
         Here was the wooded glade of Titania. Here surely lay the realm of wood nymphs and magic. She rose her hand to her eyes as light suddenly shone brightly, a thinning in the foliage heralded the sight of the largest tree she had seen so far. Gnarled and old the lower branches dipping to kiss the undergrowth. The upper branches lost far above. The sun alternately blindingly bright and softly green dancing through the gaps in the leaves.
         Casting her tatty old satchel carelessly to the ground she eagerly clambered onto the lowest branch. It proved firm and steady enough to stand upon to reach her destination. A less agile ascent than she had imagined followed but she successfully scrabbled to a broad fairly high branch.
         Arms and legs now dirty and grazed with rough bark she sat upon her perch and grinned. Looking as much like the pixies she would have wished to find she gazed about, legs swinging, with one hand resting on the thick trunk for support.

         She went there often after that. To escape, to think, to dream. It was her place where the world couldn't follow her. Where daydreams were the only reality and anything was possible. Life moves on though for us all, sometimes far faster than we realise. As school-days ended college, pubs and boys, all played their roles in casting childhood aside.  It slowly became a neglected place. A forgotten place. As real as a fairy tale when placed beside the rush and bustle of life.

                                                        * * * * *


         Stumbling slightly, unused to her high heels, she glanced about hoping no one had seen. Trying to maintain her balance and a brisk pace she relayed the directions over in her mind. 'to the end of Corporation street, left at the large roundabout and up to the corner.' Jostling workers and idle shoppers streamed past unheeded. The roar and bustle of the city centre was a familiar background to her. A hurried glance at her watch revealed time was running short. She couldn't afford to screw this up. Yet another familiar envelope had greeted her at the doorstep that morning. Without opening  it the familiar red banner of another bailiffs warning peeked cruelly up from the transparent address window.
         It had been two months since the 'oh so polite' meeting in Mr. Narry's office. The shock had long ago dulled to a desperate determination. This wasn't going to hold her down and she most certainly wasn't going to beg her Dad for a loan. Since dropping out of college her Father had been certain she was doomed to poverty and failure. In one dark grunt he could speak a thousand words of derision and disappointment. In the years since she had managed well enough, never making a fortune but always breaking even. A string of not so successful relationships had added her Mother's sighs to her Fathers grunts but she took both in her stride. She felt somehow if she ever were to weaken, even for a moment, that  she may never be able to drag herself back up.

         Right this was it. Using the glass of the shop window next door she hurriedly checked her appearance. Her smartest suit, flattering but not too sexy. Her hair was scraped into a neat practical ponytail. Light make-up dusted her eyes but she had held off on the lipstick. She wanted to look attractive but practical. Deciding she was happy with what she saw she took a deep breath and opened the door.

         A gangly teenager glanced up from stacking the lower shelves as she entered.
         “Can I 'elp” He asked turning his head briefly before resuming his task.
         “Hi, I'm Sally I'm here for the interview for the assistant manager position.” Automatically he held out her hand and forced on her practived most efficient smile. He grasped it and to her amazement used it to lever himself from the ground. Sniffing and scratching his ear he mumbled. “well she's not 'ere at the moment I think they already got someone. Internal application y'know.” His head dipped as he smiled then sighed. There was a tense silence.
         “Sorry.” He added realising she was still stood there staring at him. She felt frozen to the spot. She had spent the entire week building herself up to this interview. She had even added up the wages, which was a pay cut for her, and started planning how to clear her debts. “Anythin' else I can do fer ya.” He sniffed again.
         “No thank you.” She replied icily and turned striding from the shop before he could catch the glint of a tear in her eye.
         He spared  a moment to think it was a shame, she had seemed like a nice enough lady. 'Nice legs, could have done with some lippy', he mused. He shrugged and continued half heartedly with his work and whole heartedly planning his weekend.

         She hurried along not caring that she rudely cut though friends talking and barely an apology for those she stumbled into. She had no idea where to go. The thought of the empty flat didn't appeal. It had become a place of limited food and electricity and waiting menacing bills. It reeked of failure. The thought of an afternoon in those same walls stewing in self pity filled her with disgust.

         “One twenty.” She declared curtly to the driver dropping the fare off before finding herself a seat on the crowded bus. She hadn't even glanced at the number. She didn't really care where it went she just knew she had to get out of the city centre. Had to get away, the where too seemed insignificant.
         An elderly man in the seat beside her, his face as crumpled as the old jacked it peeked out from held out a bag of Werther's originals.
         “Cheer up, may never happen.” Glancing at the proffered toffee's she shook her head. “fine have it your way darling.” He added with a toothy grin.
         She could never have really said what passed through her mind on that journey. Lost in thought but seeming to think nothing she gazed blankly out the window. Werther's man was replaced by too much foundation girl but soon she too was gone . A  light drizzle made winding streaks across the window. Her gaze followed their meandering journey, picking up different colours from the passing scenery till eventually they caught reached the window frame.
         Despite the fact she was gazing more at the window than through it a sense of familiarity began to steal across her. At first an idle niggle at the back of her mind then rushing to the foreground in a surge of realisation. Standing so fast she almost threw herself off balance she grasped the bell to signal for the bus to stop. For a while it trundled on still a decent way from the next bus stop. Feeling a little self conscious at having stood so suddenly and rather too soon she shuffled forward  keeping any curious glances well behind her.

         The field look almost exactly as she remembered. Almost, because intruding clear across the centre was a  new bypass. It's dull surface seemed like a reflection of the grey sky. As she trudged along the narrow footpath of trampled grass running alongside this new feature she became aware of another change. The familiar woodland had been cut back to make way for the greater speed of man to get from A to B. Ahead it came right to the edge of the road, a wire fence separated it from the path as though holding it back from intruding upon mankind. She started to run a feeling of fear and loss overwhelming  her. She tugged her heels off to ease her passage. There was nothing in her thoughts but gazing wildly for a familiar landmark within the trees. Some signal that her place still stood. She felt as though if it were gone, if it was trampled by progress, some magic, some innocence would be lost to her. She had not even thought of it so long that she wondered if she was going crazy. Her feet jolted on the rough ground her breath coming in short harsh gasps.

         There it was. No longer buried in its deeper secret place. In fact it was barely hidden from view of the road. No matter though. There it stood as grand and solid as it ever had. The drizzle had eased and the sunlight scattered from the  raindrops that dripped from the leaves. It created an illusion of fairy dust sparkling and falling from the old branches. A profound sensation of grasping at something long lost, something precious and magical, swept through her. The world wasn't about getting by, wasn't about pride or money. Relationships could pass by as long as she never lost sight of that rush of imagination, of dreaming. That place where she was just herself. Where nothing else mattered.

         A driver, or a passenger maybe, zipping along the bypass that day, may have glanced out to the left. Perhaps they would have had to take a double take. It's very likely they would have been puzzled or even laughed. What they would have seen, if they did happen to look, was a smartly dressed grown woman, sat in a tree, apparently laughing.