424 Words on Bathroom Fun and Activities

424 Words on Bathroom Fun and Activities:

Geesh, I thought this would be simple, “Go in there, fill this container and return it to me.” I can do that with my eyes closed; hell, I almost always close my eyes when I do that. This environment isn’t the typical atmosphere I’m accustomed to when performing this task; feels a bit clinical, but what the hell, I’m a man and a man can do this anywhere. I wonder how many have been in here before me; after all, these people are specialists and people cum here for one reason. I suppose they clean and sanitize following each transaction. I’m not Howard Hughes but I’m not Dirty Ernie either. One would think a picture-laden magazine or a cheap novel would be laying around in here somewhere. Man that certainly is a huge container. If expectations are I fill that thing then I’m done; no need to continue. The damn thing is the size of mashed potato bowl. Huh, the toilet is the same brand as ours and its tank flapper must be leaking because water is running like ours too. You would think there would be a chair or bench in here. From the shadows I see from under the door it appears ole Nurse Ratched is pacing around waiting to dispense a dose of saltpeter. Wait a minute, she did provide me with a cup of coffee. Surely she isn’t some kind of practical joker and this is like Candid Camera. Nah, I think I read somewhere that saltpeter doesn’t even effect the staff member. Nurse Ratched; I haven’t thought of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest” forever. It was a great movie and Jack Nicholson was outfriggingstanding. What was her name? She was pretty hot for a nurse in a loony bin; Louise Fletcher, that’s it! Nurses, focus on nurses. Candy Stripers, now there is a porn classic. Why isn’t a copy of that and a video player in here? I’ve heard of procedures for pharmacological induced ejaculations; manual tripping of your trigger. That gives new meaning to “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” I can’t believe I’m having an AD/HD moment. “Sir, is everything OK?” What the hell, am I on the clock or something? Is there a line of guys out there needing a semen analysis? If that were the case Wal-Mart would have stations in their stores. “I’m working on it.” I should have told her I need a bigger bucket and a helping hand. The hell with it; change of plans, we are looking into adoptions.