The Bowling Alley

"Check out the weirdo.  Is it Halloween already?"

"What’s he wearing, a space suit?"

"Good evening.  I would like you to make an announcement for me.  I need you to alert everyone in the bowling alley to a great danger." 

"Sorry, bud, the intercom is for staff use only."

"With this device, I could kill every man, woman and child within this building."

"Look, do you want a lane or not?  It’s league night and I don’t have time to mess around."

"Oh my god!  Oh my god!"

"He just blew a hole through the wall!  There’s a terrorist!"

"Ok, ok, anything you want, mister, here’s the cash, take it all, here’s my wallet, here’s the keys to my damn car, just don’t hurt anyone!"

"Make an announcement.  No one is to leave the building.  Everyone must remain seated and silent."

"Attention all bowlers, we have a situation.  Please stay calm."

"What the hell is going on?"

"Did you see that?  That guy just shot a hole in the wall you could drive a tank through."

"All bowlers, please sit down and be quiet.  Wait! Wait!  Don’t hurt anyone, I’ll get them to sit down, give me a second."

"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP OR THIS GUY IS GONNA KILL US ALL!  I’M SERIOUS!  RIGHT NOW! SIT!"

"Good.  All of you are to remain silent.  In a moment, five masked men are going to enter through that entrance.  If anyone interferes with them in any way, I will kill as many of you as is required to restore the silence."

"This is a robbery!  Everyone sit…"

"What the hell is going on?"

"I know those guys. That’s Marvin Carey’s crew."

"Keep it down.  Can you reach your service revolver?"

"I thought we were off duty."

"No such thing, wise guy."

"Yeah, I can reach it.  They’re a bunch of crazy junkies, except for Marvin.  Watch him.  That is one bad man."

"I’ll take him down first, him and the terrorist.  Wait for my signal."

"President Carey, sire.  I have obeyed your orders.  I entered the temporal device and have returned to your past as instructed."

"Get the floor safe open!  That guy knows the combination and so does that guy.  Lean on them, but don’t kill both of them.  What’s so funny about that, spaceman?"

"The thought of you, of all people, requiring cash is scarcely credible.  That, and seeing you as such a young man."

"You’re off your meds, spaceman.  Get down on the floor or I’ll blow your head off."

"I’m the one man you cannot kill, sire.  I am from your future."

"Sure, I believe that.  Why wouldn’t I?"

"You told me that there were three things that made you believe me, Mr President.  The first was how much I remind you of Benny."

"What do you know about Benny?" 

"Who’s Benny, boss?"

"Shut up.  You just bet your life that I have a sense of humor, spaceman.  Say your prayers."

"Deus meus, ex toto corde poenitet me omnium meorum peccatorum, eaque detestor…"

"Why’d you say that?  What made you say that?"

"You know.  That’s the prayer your mother used to say.  The act of contrition.  That was the second thing."

"Just shut up, spaceman.  Get the wall safe open, too, that’s where they keep the Colombian’s cash."

"It’s not there, boss."

"Who took my money?"

"No, the safe, it’s gone.  The whole wall is gone."

"That guy did it… the spaceman."

I"'m no spaceman.  This is a pressure suit.  The temporal device creates a vacuum."

"Ok, nutcase.  Where’s my money?  You have ten seconds and you have no idea what I am capable of."

"I’m the only person here who has the slightest idea of what you’re capable of, Mr President."

"Why do you keep calling him President?"

"It's simple.  In the future, he will become the President."

"Oh, sure, all these people are going to vote for him?  Well, we’re coming around for campaign contributions!"

"I’m a felon, Jack.  They can’t vote for me.  Sounds pretty good, though.  President of the United States."

"No, not the United States."

"President of what, then?"

"The United Nations."

"I got elected to be President of the United Nations?"

"Not elected, sire.  You are not tolerant of the concept.  Elections are not discussed in your presence.  Certainly not twice, anyways."

"So, I’m going to be a big shot leader?"

"Sire, you consider the great leaders of history to be… without ambition, amateurs.  You often use that expression, amateurs."

"What, like Caesar?  Napoleon?  Ghengis Khan?"

"Not exactly, sire.  More like Hitler, Pol Pot, Idi Amin.  Sire, you need to take this now."

"Watch out!  That’s what he used to blow the hole in the wall!"

"Give me that… hey, what just happened!  What was that?"

"That was the weapon re-keying to your neural engrams, sire.  The prickling sensation is the energy shield activating."

"Boys, let him go, I’m all right.  You ok, spaceman?"

"Yes, sire.  It is no matter.  They will all be dead in a moment.  Ooof."

"You had that one coming.  What is this thing?"

"After all these years, we still don’t really understand how the weapons work, sire.  We have facilities to manufacture them, but the process of how they learn and key to their owner’s engrams is still a mystery." 

"Learn?"

"They are semi-sentient, Sire.  All of the weapons are keyed to one individual.  You, Sire.  Yours was the only one to be keyed twice, which makes it the master weapon.  The others can only be keyed on your authority and none of them can be used against you in any way."

"FREEZE!  ARMED POLICE!" 

"Blast him, Marvin!"

"Get the big guy!"

"Oh my god!  What the hell was that?"

"Get down, get down, what happened?"

"Did you see that?  Those cops just got shredded to pieces!  I’m gonna puke!"

"And now you believe me, sire."

"That was amazing, spaceman.  I don’t even have to aim?  I just have to decide?"

"Yes, sire.  The weapon will also decide for you, if you are taken by surprise, are asleep, or are unconscious.  The shield makes you and your soldiers invincible.  Nothing can touch you.  You have to turn it off to eat, or use the bathroom of course, or if anything has to touch your skin."

"One gun is not enough.  If I’m taking over, I’ll need a lot more of these."

"A thousand are stored…"

"Not in front of these guys!"

"Sire, you said to tell you that they are in a safe place and that you know where you would put them."

"I know a place."

"That is most certainly where they are, sire."

"I’ll need more."

"Directions to the manufacturing facilities are at the safe place."

"What now, spaceman?  What’s to stop me from killing you now?  I've got your gun."

"I’ve always been the one man you can’t kill, sire.  You know that I must live to deliver the weapon to you.  You can’t change the past, sire.  This is what happened in your past, when you are an old man.  This is happening exactly the way it happened.  Nothing is changed."

"Yeah, but this is your future, too, isn't it?  You don’t know what happens next.  You only know what I tell you in the future.  Maybe I didn’t tell you that I shot a big hole in your space suit."

"You always said I was the one person you could trust, because I never have to lie to you.  When I used the temporal device, I learned something, sire.  Something you will find very interesting.  Something worth waiting a lifetime to hear."

"But you’re not going to tell me." 

"No, sire.  The device only allows me to stay for twenty four hours.  My time is almost up."

"So, everything I do, everyone I kill with this thing, everyone my armies destroy, it’s all your fault?  You let it happen?"

"Where’d he go?"

---

"No, doctor, let him in.  Put the bed up, I want to see.  I know it’s off… blame all your blasted tubes and wires.  Guards, step aside.  I need to see him." 

"How are you keeping, sire?  How strange it is to see you like this, so soon after seeing you so well and in your youth."

"But you look the same as when I first saw you, spaceman.  Back then, you said you had something interesting to tell me.  Something worth waiting for.  It was the only reason I let you live."

"Of course, sire.  Let me come closer, this is not for their ears."

"Feel my blade, scum.  This is for the Africans… this is for all the people you killed… this is for all the suffering you caused… and this is for the suffering you caused me."

"Spaceman! guards…"

"We won’t help you, tyrant.  We rejoice in your death." 

"One last thing, you sick murdering bastard.  I did lie to you once.  Just once.  Remember when I told you your scientists had finally developed a temporal device?  Not true.  You know how you got your weapon?  Well, I got my time machine in the same way.  My great great grandson gave it to me.  He told me how it all worked, and how I was going to bring a new era of peace and prosperity to humanity by putting an end to you and your reign of evil."

"It’s all going to happen, too.  You can’t change the past."