Men are SO Medieval - WIP

Her granddad's old army bag stuffed to the brim and slung across her shoulders, Venetia Campbell hoisted her guitar in one hand and gave one last baleful glare at her 94 Mercury Cougar. She hated that car. Hated it more than cabbage and damn did she hate cabbage! The wretched thing had finally wheezed it's last wheeze and with a backfire louder than a cannon, had cluttered to a smoking stop. Of course the bastard car had chosen to go into it's death throws a good ten miles from camp, an hour before dark. Go figure.

Kicking the door, she snarled and began walking. Given the awful year she'd been having, Vin supposed she should be grateful it wasn't raining.

The year had started badly when her mother had finally lost her eight year battle with cancer. Even though she'd been expecting it for a good eighteen months, it didn't make the loss hurt any less. Vin had buried her dear mother with her grandparents alone. Her father, absent since Vin had been four, never appeared despite the email she'd fired off to him. She hadn't really expected him to come. He had a new family. The only reason Vin even knew where to find him was because his parents had done their moral obligation and put Vin through college.

She'd been granted bereavement leave for two months from her job to get her mother's estate in order. Her boss, a gentle old man named Hubert Walters, had assured her position as head graphic designer at B and B Advertising would still be there when she returned. It wasn't. When Vin had returned it was to learn that Hubert had been forced into mandatory retirement and the new management had no intention of letting her keep a job she'd been absent form for the last two months. Vin had been shellshocked that life could take such a violently downward turn. Her only rock seemed to be her fiance, Kyle.

Dear, sweet, sensitive Kyle. A psychology professor with the local university, he was just the type of man women loved. Sensitive, understanding, polished, and completely in touch with his feelings. Vin had loved her soon-to-be-husband and had counted on him to be supportive and understanding in this time of distress... So it only figured that when she needed him most, she'd walk into her apartment and find him screwing his TA on her couch. The prick then had the gall to try and say he was doing it for her. "Giving her space to come to grips with her emotions."

Vin had burned the couch.

Thankfully she had one friend who would stand beside her, no questions asked... Dani had been her best friend since they'd been in diapers. Even though they lived nearly an hour away from eachother, and hadn't been able to talk much due to Vin's life issues, she picked up on the first ring and was genuinely happy to hear from her friend. Vin had spilled her troubles out over the telephone, while Dani had listened, assured her everything would work out and informed her Kyle was a weak willed pansy. They'd talked long into the night, catching up and talked about everything from men and the lack of decent ones, to full thetorical discussions on psychology and politics. Then Dani had suddenly hitched on a brilliant idea. What the two of them needed was a vacation! Someplace the two of them could hang out together, go man hunting, be loud and bawdy and have a good time to forget all Vin's woes.

Growing up the two of them had loved the Renaissance Faire that came to town every year, why not head to Maryland for a couple weeks and camp out at the biggest ren faire in the country? It was set to open the next month and there'd be jousting, minstrels, rogues and wenches... It really was a brilliant idea. They'd set a date, and agreed to meet at the camp grounds on the first day of the faire.

But with her luck being what it was, Vin had ended up having to work at the Kinkos she'd been hired at. She'd had to tell Dani she wouldn't make it until the next day. But four hours into her shift, saw no customers, and Brian, her manager, had told her she could leave early. Estatic and thinking maybe her luck was changeing, Vin had hopped in her car and took off for Maryland.

Now she understood. Her luck hadn't been getting better. It was just setting her up for a bigger pain in the ass later.

"This is such bull!" She informed the universe at large as she hiked down the lonely wooded road. "What did I do to deserve this?!" The chatter of creatures from the trees around her was her only response. To Vin it sounded exactly like laughter. Another frustrated sigh, and she adjusted her pack across her shoulders. The evening was cool and damp from rains that had been pouring on and off all day. The dusty aqua, military suede jacket she wore took the edge off, and kept her a nice even temperature despite the burdens she was hoisting.

Headlights appeared on the road from behind and Vin stuck out her thumb for a ride, but the vehicle didn't slow. Another twenty minutes went by before another appeared, but that one too passed her by. Grumbling about the indecencies of people, Vin hiked another forty minutes, convincing herself that she was going to throw herself in front of the next car and force it to stop. She was so wrapped up in her plans of forcing someone to give her a ride that when the road suddenly fell out from under her, she didn't even have time to scream.


It was full dark when Vin finally began to come to. Her eyes fluttered open and she stared a the darkened canopy of leaves above. She groaned, rubbing the back of her head when her bag had struck her and gingerly sat up. She was a little groggy, and had a headache starting, but otherwise she felt okay. Rubbing the back of her head to ease the bump that had formed, she craned her neck to look back up the hill side toward the road. Trying to see what had collapsed, causing her to fall. Given her current, rather foul mood, Vin figure she was of a mind to sue the transportation department for their failure to maintain the road. Some one could get killed!

So it was with no small amount of surprise that she realized there was no hill. She was sitting on flat ground in the middle of the woods. That was weird. She was sure there was a hillside. otherwise, how had she fallen? A glance at her palms sowed some recent shallow scraps and mud- as of she'd been grasping for a handhold... But there was no hill...

"Okay, this is too weird..." She mumbled, getting to her feet. A quick check showed the battered wooden case had done it's job protecting her guitar. The army bag would have to wait until she found some light, but given how much she'd packed into it, it was doubtful anything could have moved or shifted. Hopefully nothing was broken. Her entire life was in that bag. Everything a single girl might need for two weeks camping in a medieval faire with the hopes of being swept off her feet by a white knight... Which in her world meant a professional jouster. There were no knight anymore- with or without the shining armor.

"Everything, except an umbrella," she moaned dejectedly as the sound of thunder boomed in the distance. Great, just great.... That was exactly what she needed right now. Rain. That way she could be cold, wet, and lost in the dark. Great. Just peachy!

Too lost in her moment of universe bashing and self pity, it took Vin a moment to realize the thunder wasn't stopping. It was growing louder in fact. And all the animals in the forest had grown quiet. Except for one. Listening closely she could hear something large crashing through underbrush, barely ahead of ever growing rumble. And it was coming right for her...

"What the heck is going-" but Vin never got to finish her sentence. At that exact moment, a wiry man exploded from brushes in front of her. He slammed to a halt- shocked to see her, and for her part Vin could only star back at him. He was a grungy looking person. His clothing- hard to distinguish in the dark looked medieval. Low slung leather boots, hose, a tunic and mantle with hood, though she couldn't decern the colors. The faire was still a good eight miles from here, what on earth was he doing this deep in the woods. More importantly, maybe he could lead her back to the camp. She'd just upened her mouth to ask when another booming voice reverberated through the night.

"STOP THEIF!"