3 Little Pigs 1

He didn’t expect the double cross the fool. They never do. They look into your small beady eyes and you expect them see the duplicitous nature of your soul but they never do. And because of his short sightedness he is now lying in the sodden dirt along with those two worthless brothers of mine, and no one is the wiser for it. And if they ask, then I’ll just say that he was trying to make it a hat trick and it was merely self defence. He had disposed of them and he hasn’t seen wither since.



Of course I had to arrange the hit. I had built up a sizable debt at the track and short of selling my property needed a quick source of income to pay it back. So I hired the Big Bad Wolf, known underworld figure, who had a reputation as a bit of a bungler and gave him the address of my brother.



The plan was simple to. My brother had built his house of straw, a stupid idea as it quickly began to rot in this humid environment. But the land he built it on was on the side of town that would soon to include a major shopping centre so the property prices were soaring and his land price had doubled in the last year. He didn’t want to sell though and so the pig had to go. Fast.



I hired the wolf on the recommendation of my bookie, who has had experience in this area. He was easy to cheap to hire as well, he hadn’t had a job since he botched the Riding Hood job and gained a reputation in the business as a risk. Especially when it came to light that it was the woodsman that hired him in the first place, to gain Riding Hoods trust for a confidence trick. It was a rooky mistake and he paid for it.



What I didn’t count on though was the will. The little sod had left everything to our other brother, and he wasn’t willing to share. The wolf was a little more expensive this time, but he did the job and he did it fast, and before I knew it I was the proud owner of two properties, and the wolf had even done the extra service of riddening land of the debilitated houses that stood there. They were much easier to sell that way, and the straw and wood was sold to a local farmer for feed and a new shed.



But the wolf got confident, and thought he had me by my short and curly hair on my chin. He tried blackmailing and I figured it was time to get rid of him. I didn’t have any other brothers of worth and my sow of a mother wasn’t worth worrying about. So I invited him into the house, and when he began to get aggressive I pretended to cower and told him the money was in the chimney. I mean, THE CHIMNEY??? Who would believe that malarkey? Well he did, and after he started climbing I pulled the trap I had set and he was soon stewing nicely in the pot, and his screams adding spice to the broth.



As I said, they never expect the double cross. And now you will have to excuse me. I have to go see a man about a dog.