Mr. Bill

Mister Bill

There’s a sty on my eye, Mr. Bill.
There’s a rip in my lip, Mr. Bill.
There’s a bump on my rump
from the bee in the tree!
Please come and help me, Mr. Bill!

There’s louse in my house, Mr. Bill.
Your brother Fred is in my bed, Mr. Bill.
My sister Molly, gripped with lust and folly,
ran away with wall-eyed Wally,
Won’t you please come and help me, Mr. Bill!

There’s a wolf at my door, Mr. Bill.
He’s been here twice before, Mr. Bill.
There’s a broken window pane,
That lets in wind, snow and rain,
Are you coming to help me, Mr. Bill?

Why don’t you come and help me, Mr. Bill.
You surely know of my plight, Mr. Bill.
You got my letter by the mail,
That tells of my mournful tale.
So why don’t you come and help me, Mr. Bill?

Stay where you are, Mr. Bill!
I don’t need your help, Mr. Bill!
With courage in my heart,
I made my troubles all depart,
So please go to hell, Mr. Bill!
By Richard Paden © 2003