Unexpected Gift

First Place in the Holiday 2009 Round of the Paradise Cove Writing Challenge

Melanie glanced out the window of her parents’ house, searching the empty driveway for the tenth time in the last five minutes. Eric had said he would be here at four, and it was just turning that now.

She was excited to see him again. They talked frequently, but they rarely got together these days. Melanie supposed that it was a testament to their friendship that they were as close as they were given they had lived over a thousand miles apart ever since graduating from high school twelve years ago. It seemed like Eric had always been in her life, and she made sure she did everything to keep it that way. Of course, it was difficult. As much as they talked, they were strangers in some ways, which saddened her when she dwelled on it too much.

Melanie wandered to the Christmas tree she’d helped decorate the day before, gently fingering one of her favorite ornaments. There were many reasons she loved this holiday – the lights, the anticipation of snow, the music – but the best was that she got to come home. She was comfortable with her job and her apartment, but she missed her family. Sometimes, after one of her almost daily phone calls with her mom, her heart would ache with loneliness. She didn’t know what she would do if she couldn’t spend the holidays with them.

Catching the sound of a car outside, Melanie rushed to the window and called, “He’s here!”

She didn’t bother waiting for an answer before she pushed open the door. She knew her family wouldn’t be too far behind her. Although the Marshes generally kept to themselves, a symptom of a shared introversion, they had adopted Eric a long time ago.

“Eric!”

He grinned as he returned her wave. Melanie ran down the steps and threw her arms around him. She generally wasn’t that demonstrative, but she always made an effort with Eric. He enveloped her in his arms, giving her a tight squeeze before letting her go. Her breath caught at how good it felt to be held by someone.

“Hi, Mel,” he said, stepping back. “Good to see you.”

“You too,” she replied, crossing her arms against the cold and an unwarranted sense of disappointment at being let go so soon. Even as happy as she was he was here, she felt the pull of her innate shyness, but, with years of practiced habit, she ignored it. “How was the drive? Did you stop to see your mom?”

Eric leaned against his car. “Typical traffic in the city, and, no, I decided to come here first.”

“Don’t tell her,” Mel said dryly. “She’ll never forgive me.”

Laughing, Eric shook his head. “Right. You know she thinks you’re perfect.”

It was true. His mom adored her, especially after Eric’s dad died in a car accident their junior year and Melanie had done her juvenile best to help him through it.

“That’s because I’m the good kid,” she replied with mock gravity.

“If people knew the real you...” he teased.

Melanie rolled her eyes. They both knew she was the good girl – followed the rules, got the grades, excelled at everything. It was habit. Sometimes, though, she hated it. She didn’t know how to take risks, how to loosen up, how to open up to other people. It was a problem that she railed more and more against as she got older because it kept her so alone.

Before Melanie could retort, her mom appeared on the porch. “Eric, you’re here!”

“Hello, Mrs. Marsh.”

“Ric, buddy.” Melanie’s younger brother, James, offered his hand.

“Ewic!” A small whirlwind banged the door open behind them.

Melanie’s two-year-old niece, Janie, launched herself at Eric’s knees, almost knocking him over. The little girl had only met Eric on a couple of occasions, but she was bewitched. According to her mom, she talked about him all the time. It was a family joke.

Eric bent down and, disentangling her tentacle-like arms, lifted her. “Hey, squirt,” he said with a wink, which made Janie giggle.

Melanie hung back as Eric greeted her father and spoke with her sister-in-law Susan, all while teasing Janie. He had changed quite a bit since high school, gained some weight and tended to wear polos rather than rock t-shirts now, but he still had that quietly wicked sense of humor. Whenever you looked into his eyes, you just knew he had a witty comment lurking inside. He’d always been self-deprecating, never thinking of himself as more than average, but the truth was he was unique and exceptional in many ways.

Standing apart, Melanie felt her stomach twist with a feeling that had become all too insistent lately. It was a wistful longing whenever she saw an affectionate couple; it got worse with families, especially fathers playing with their children. She wanted that. She’d always wanted that. Someone to care about, someone, besides her family, to care about her. But the truth was she’d never dated anyone. Actually, it was worse – she’d never even been on a date. She had decided she was defective. On good days, she insisted she had accepted that fact. On her bad days, she felt pathetic for letting the truth hurt.

“Are you coming, honey? It’s cold.”

Melanie blinked at her mom, realizing that she’d been staring at Eric and Janie, and, feeling awkward, she forced a smile. She couldn’t let her holiday melancholy overshadow the pleasure of visiting with her oldest friend. She was alone and she had to deal with it.

It was never going to change.

****

Sipping his coffee, Eric leaned against the kitchen table. It felt strange to sit in the Marsh kitchen again after so long. While they didn’t often have house guests, he had been regularly invited to dinner when he was a teenager. It wasn’t that the Marshes were unfriendly – far from it – but they tended not to socialize much. As a kid, he hadn’t understood it, but, when he got older, he realized that they didn’t really fit into the small Midwestern town. Melanie’s parents were career teachers, now retired, in a community that considered education highly overrated.

Eric glanced at Melanie, sitting in a nearby chair whispering with her niece. The Marshes had raised their children to be different too. Neither Melanie nor James had ever been like the other kids their ages. She had gone the valedictorian, excel at everything route, while her brother was the rebel. Melanie had never had many close friends, and he’d always felt honored to be one of them. He wished he could see her more.

“So, Eric,” Mrs. Marsh said, interrupting his thoughts, “Melanie hasn’t updated us in a while. Are you dating anyone?”

Eric gave the older woman a rueful grin. “Afraid not. Apparently, no one wants me.”

He tried not to be embarrassed as the Marsh women protested his half-teasing remark. His last relationship had ended in the same painful fashion as the two before that. Eric was beginning to believe he wasn’t capable of attracting a girlfriend who either wouldn’t cheat on him or wouldn’t turn out to be completely psychotic. He’d told Melanie after his most recent breakup that he should give up. She’d been infuriated on his behalf – she took loyalty to a whole new level – and had assured him he’d find someone, but he was getting discouraged. Celebrating his thirtieth birthday hadn’t helped.

“You’re an idiot,” Melanie said with the bluntness that characterized their friendship.

“Thanks for that,” he shot back.

“I call them like I see them.”

Melanie smirked, her green eyes dancing at their exchange. When he didn’t answer, she returned to playing with Janie, who was hanging on her neck as if she was afraid her aunt would disappear. She probably did, given that Melanie didn’t often get home. There was no doubt Janie adored her, and the feeling was definitely mutual.

Eric listened to Melanie’s dad talk about his garden as he watched her toss a squealing Janie in the air. Pulling the girl near, Melanie dropped a kiss on her cheek before enfolding her in a tight hug. Unbidden, he reflected that she would make a great mother someday.

Mrs. Marsh set a plate of cookies on the table. “Are you joining us for Christmas Eve?”

Taking one, Eric nodded. “Mom’s going to a party, so, if you don’t mind me crashing here, I’d love to join you. I mean, if you’re going to make your egg nog, Mr. Marsh. Mel raves about it.”

Melanie’s dad smirked. “You’ll probably have to fight her for it. We had to cut her off when she was a kid.”

Melanie flushed and then glared at her brother, who barked out a laugh at what was obviously a family joke. “It’s your fault,” she accused. “It’s too good.”

Eric grinned and then looked down to find Janie crawling up on his lap. “Well, hello.”

“Hi, Ewic,” she said, her expression serious. “Do you like lights?”

Confused for a moment, he just stared at her. “You mean Christmas lights?” When she nodded, he bent down to whisper, “I love them.”

“So does Aunt Mewanie,” she informed him. “She pwomised to show them to me. Will you come with us?”

Confirming with a quick glance that it was all right with Melanie, Eric tapped Janie on the head. “Sure, squirt.”

Janie’s grin was almost blinding, and he couldn’t resist giving her a hug and wondering if he’d ever have a girl like her to spoil one day. He didn’t know why but his eyes were suddenly drawn to Melanie.

****

Melanie wished there was some way to shut off her overactive imagination. The last hour had been both wonderful and torture. As always, she and Eric had fallen back into their old patterns, chatting and laughing as they wandered through town with Janie. It was such a pleasant evening, and some of the houses were spectacular.

Yet, while Melanie was having fun, she kept fighting with some insistent, not to mention foolish, images. Her mind playing tricks on her, she found herself basking in the pretense that she and Eric were together and Janie was theirs. It was a tempting fantasy and a dangerous one. Eric had given her the oddest look when she had, swept along in her daydream, slipped her arm into the crook of his, nearly rubbing her cheek against his coat sleeve. To cover, she’d immediately bent down and pretended to brush the snow off her shoes. She wasn’t sure why she was embarrassed exactly. It wasn’t like they never touched. But she felt guilty, given the riot of misplaced emotions in her head.

She was just lonely – that was all. And the holidays weren’t helping. It was a time for love, for being part of a couple. Ashamed at her depression, she felt like she should apologize to Christmas for being so resentful.

“Aunt Mewanie, Ewic! Look!” Janie ran down the sidewalk. When they caught up with her, she was staring in fascination as a group of kids built snowmen in the park.

Eric bent down next to her. “What are we waiting for?”

Janie squealed as she dragged him away, and the two of them set to work. Melanie sat on a bench, letting them have time together. Janie didn’t often take to people, and Eric was good for her.

Watching them, Melanie laughed as they labored over their creation. Eric waved as they rolled a ball of snow into place, and she nodded in acknowledgement. He always did that, she mused, included her. When she didn’t push herself out there to make sure she got noticed, most people forgot she was around, but he never had. Never.

Melanie frowned as her stomach quivered in response. She was familiar with the feeling, but it didn’t make sense that, after all these years, she’d experience it now. Surely, if she was going to develop a crush on Eric, it would have happened a long time ago. Studying her friend, she tried to convince herself that it wasn’t true, that it was just her runaway imagination again. But then he grinned at her, and she felt the telltale warmth in her cheeks.

No, Melanie groaned silently. She couldn’t handle a case of unrequited desire for her best friend.

****

Eric knew something was wrong with Melanie, but he had no idea what it was. She had become withdrawn after their light tour. When he’d arrived at her parents’ house this morning for Christmas Eve, she’d greeted him warmly enough, but then she had seemed to come up with excuses to avoid him.

It bothered Eric. And it confused him. Something had happened the other night. He’d been making the snowman, amused at being ordered around by a two-year-old, when he’d looked at Melanie. She had been staring at them with a sort of bemused, wistful expression.

And he’d thought about kissing her.

Eric had known Melanie since before he realized girls were more than nuisances, and he’d never had that kind of feeling about her. At least, he didn’t remember it if he had. She was Melanie – he loved her, respected her, considered her one of the best people in his life. Now – he didn’t know. Maybe it was Christmas or seeing her for the first time in forever. Suddenly, there was something about her that affected his heart, and it was startling.

Melanie, following her mother, walked back into the living room and handed him a drink. “Egg nog,” she said. “It’s the only glass you get, so make it last.” She winked to let him know she was teasing before settling on the sofa.

Relaxing on the floor in front of her, Eric studied Melanie out of the corner of his eye. He wasn’t imagining it. She was tense.

He had to wonder if he would have realized that if he wasn’t so aware of her now. He was noticing details that he normally never paid attention to. She’d changed the color of her hair. Her eyes darkened in the red lights of the tree. And there was a small scar on the side of her nose.

Melanie’s mouth quirked into a grin at something her brother said, and Eric stared almost dumbly. She’s beautiful, he thought, surprised. He shouldn’t have been. After all, he had never bought into her belief that she wasn’t attractive. Every time she’d gone so far as to joke about being hideous, he’d been quick to chastise her. As a friend, he couldn’t let her say things like that. But this was different.

He wasn’t seeing her as a friend right now. He was seeing her as a woman, with a mouth, arms, a body. She wasn’t just the comforting presence with a sharp mind and wicked sense of humor. She was an unsettling female, and she made his heart race.

Eyes closed, Melanie sipped her egg nog and relaxed into the sofa. Noting with near obsession the faint trace of nutmeg lingering on her lips, Eric used it as an excuse to touch her knee to get her attention. He frowned when she stiffened, recoiling from him while barely moving.

When her lashes flew open, Eric pointed out, “Your lip.”

“Thanks,” Melanie replied, wiping the spice away.

Glancing at his hand still resting against her jeans, she shifted her legs, pulling her feet on to the couch away from him. It was subtle, and she didn’t mean for him to know what she was doing. But he did, and his fingers clenched against the strange sensation of warmth lingering on his palm. He knew she didn’t care to be touched by strangers and her personal space issues had always been a joke between them, but he didn’t like her shying away from him. Not now. Not when he was unexpectedly wanting to be closer. Much closer.

“Ric, when’s your mom coming back tomorrow?” James asked. “Maybe you can open a few presents with us.”

Janie, with her selective hearing, yelled, “Pwesents!” As she made a beeline for the tree, her father had to catch her around the waist to prevent her from ripping open the nearest gift.

As everyone’s laughter faded, Eric said, “I can stay until noon.”

“That’s wonderful,” Mrs. Marsh replied, beaming at him.

Eric noticed that Melanie didn’t say anything, getting up instead to sit on the floor with her niece so they could shake some of the elaborately-wrapped packages.

Did she not want him around?

****

“It’s stopped snowing. Let’s go for a walk.”

Melanie waited out both the joyful flutter of her heart and the nervous clench of her stomach before answering Eric.

“I really should help with the dishes,” she replied, ignoring the internal voice telling her to take what she could, make some memories. But she knew it was risky. She could give away her recent surge of feeling for him and that was unacceptable.

Unfortunately, her mother didn’t know that. “No, honey, go on. You don’t get to see Eric that often.”

Melanie started to argue, but Eric snagged her elbow. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

Left without a choice, Melanie got her coat and, avoiding meeting his eyes, led the way outside. She tried to turn towards the street, but Eric protested, suggesting they take the back way to the park through the tree row behind the house. She hesitated, knowing how isolated it was, but she couldn’t come up with an excuse before he wandered away. Following him, she sighed, giving herself all kinds of stern mental warnings.

The couple walked slowly, their boots crunching the snow. Melanie did her best not to brush against Eric, but, with the narrow path, it was nearly impossible. Distracting herself, she focused on the twinkling Christmas lights shining through the branches.

“Maybe I should just go home tomorrow.”

Surprised, Melanie turned her head. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t seem to want me to stay.”

Melanie cringed. He had apparently picked up on how, for the sake of self-preservation, she’d been keeping her distance. “Of course, I want you to stay!” she exclaimed. “I mean...if you want to. You shouldn’t feel obligated. Janie would love it. Everyone would...” She was babbling, but she couldn’t seem to help it.

Eric stopped walking. “What’s going on, Mel?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she deflected. Angling away from him, she tensed her back, ready to laugh off anything he might say.

But, then, she’d expected him to speak, not act.

Melanie didn’t know what to do when Eric cupped her cheek and bent his head towards her. Strangely frightened as she realized he meant to kiss her, she shrank away.

“Don’t,” he breathed. “Don’t...move.”

“But...I...” she whispered, “I...why?”

“I want to try something,” he murmured, lowering his head again.

But Melanie couldn’t stay still. She’d dreamed so many times of something like this happening, but it was always an anonymous face. She’d never given an identity to her fantasy lovers. It seemed presumptuous.

“Eric...” Melanie stuttered, struggling with the shame of what she was about to admit. “I’ve never kissed anyone.”

Eric hesitated, shocked at her confession. “Never?”

She turned her back, finding it easier not to face him. “Yes, I’m thirty-one years old, and I’ve never kissed anyone,” she said with defiance. “You know I’ve never dated.”

“Never dated, yes. But...” Eric had never given much thought to her not dating, believing she just hadn’t met someone worthy of her.

Tossing her hair, Melanie mustered the smile that had hidden any number of heartaches in her lifetime. “What’s worse, no one has ever offered. So thanks! You’re the first. Since it’s me, you’re probably the last too.”

Eric knew that deceptively-cheerful, self-deprecating tone. It was the same one she’d used their senior year when she lost the Student Council election. It was her way of keeping others from feeling sorry for her.

Well, he didn’t feel sorry for her.

Eric grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him. He registered her resistance, but he chalked it up to extreme inexperience. God, he hoped that’s all it was. She held herself tensely in his arms, but she didn’t push him away. His mouth hovering over hers, Eric made sure her eyes closed before he let his own drift shut. Then, he kissed her.

Melanie had lived for so long believing that she would never get to feel this. She had convinced herself that she wasn’t good enough for this kind of experience. So, now, Eric’s lips moving across hers felt like a miracle.

A fabulous, forbidden Christmas miracle.

A moan hummed in her throat as he parted her mouth. While her arms curled of their own accord around his neck, she had no idea what to do. She didn’t know how to give up control, no matter how much she wanted to.

“Relax, Mel,” he whispered, caressing her cheek.

“I...can’t,” she stuttered. “I’m sorry.”

Eric wrapped his arms around her waist, carefully aligning their bodies. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”

“No,” she denied, frustration and the tears she was trying not to shed sharpening her voice, “it’s not. I’m no good at this. I knew I wouldn’t be.”

Eric tunneled his hands underneath her coat, pressing his fingers into her back. “Stop trying to be perfect.”

Melanie’s automatic response was to argue that he was wrong, but she didn’t get the chance. Eric tightened his embrace and took her mouth in another kiss. Melanie felt drugged as, dazed, she started to relax. Tentative, she opened her mouth, catching her breath as their tongues tangled.

This is Eric. The thought steadied her.

Eric ran his hands up Melanie’s back, unintentionally dragging her shirt with him. He hesitated, and, then, giving into instinct, he walked his fingers down again, his gut clenching as his hands encountered bare skin. The desperate pleasure at the contact caused him to up the tempo of their kiss, forgetting for a moment that she might not be ready for that much intensity yet.

When she trembled nervously, he was immediately contrite. “Too much?”

“It’s just,” Melanie whispered, too shy to look at him, “I’m not exactly a size zero.”

Eric refused to let her get away when she dropped her arms. “Look at me.” When she forced herself to do as he said, he continued, “I don’t know why this is happening. To be honest, it hit me out of nowhere. But you...” He emphasized his next words by tracing the lines of her rib cage with his thumbs, causing her to shudder. “...are my best friend, and I need you to trust me when I say you’re beautiful.”

The tears couldn’t be stopped. Melanie leaned against him, ducking her head on his chest and reveling, in spite of her weak confusion, in the unaccustomed warmth of a male body pressed against her.

“I’m not,” she denied.

Eric didn’t argue. Thirty years of low self-esteem couldn’t be erased in fifteen minutes. Instead, he lowered his head and nuzzled her neck while gently moving his palms across her skin, around her stomach and as far up as he thought she could handle. When she shifted restlessly in his embrace, he fought back a groan. How the hell had he not known they would be this explosive?

Melanie couldn’t think. She couldn’t slow her heartbeat. It was all too overwhelming. Worried that this was one of her daydreams, she tried to focus because she couldn’t bear if it wasn’t real. What if Eric realized she wasn’t enough? What if he couldn’t deal with her inexperience?

As if those thoughts weren’t daunting enough, another one occurred to her. “How can this work? We live so far apart.”

Eric shook his head. “I don’t know, but let’s not worry about it tonight. It’s Christmas Eve, and, personally, I’m enjoying my present.”

Letting him kiss her again, Melanie sighed.

She hadn’t expected to get exactly what she wanted this year.

Word count: 4000