Forbidden Like

This is so frustrating! Why do I have to like him? I'm not allowed to like him, but I can't help it! He's just so sweet and funny and cute and - no. I can't think like that. I'm not allowed to like him and that's all there is to it! But how can I not think about him? He's sitting right next to me, and he's so amazing.

I should feel bad about liking the guy who openly likes my friend, but I don't. Why did he have to like her? If he hadn't made it clear then I'd be allowed to like him, but now he's off limits. Sometimes I hate girl rules. I should be able to like this guy, even if he likes my friend, because she's never shown the slightest interest in him. She likes that he likes her. She likes to have someone admire her, it validates her. But she doesn't deserve him. She's just playing with him. Yet it's like he's her property now, I have no right to like him. I think she'd like the idea of owning someone.

I get up off the couch and walk out the room. This is too much for me. I can't just sit right next to the guy I'm not allowed to like, watching a romantic comedy, without considering all the 'what-ifs'. I can't let those thoughts invade my head. It'll only make things worse.

"Claire?" his voice asks.

Great, now I'm imagining his sweet voice. I should be locked up. I'm clearly crazy.

"Claire, are you alright?"

Even better, the voice is getting closer. Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away.

"Claire?" The voice sounds worried now. I so want to turn, but I can't. I won't let myself.

Something touches my shoulder and I can't help but turn, slightly startled. There he is, right in front of me, the guy I'm forbidden to like. He looks confused, I must be acting really weird.

"Are you okay?" he asks again. "You just left, and I was worried something was wrong."

"No, I'm fine," I lie. I am far from fine. All I want to do is wrap my arms around the guy in front of me, but I can't. My heart sinks at that thought.

"You look upset," he comments softly, gently brushing my messy blonde fringe away from my eyes.

My heart is beating a million miles an hour. He touched me, I can't believe it! But I shouldn't read too much into it. I'm just over-reacting. After all, he doesn't like me, he likes my friend. My heart breaks as I look into his burning green eyes and know that I can never have him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, sounding more and more worried. He brushes a tear away that had started to roll down my cheek without me noticing.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." I lie again, trying to stop my voice from breaking.

He sees through the lie and pulls me into his arms. It feels right. I feel safe and warm. I pull away anyway.

"I can't do this." I say, failing holding the tears back.

I turn and try to flee, but he grabs my hand gently and pulls me back into his arms.

"It's okay," he whispers soothingly in my ear.

We stay there for what feels like a life time, and yet it ends too soon. I feel his grasp on my back loosen and sense my cue to leave. I start to pull back, but as I meet his eyes, the intensity there stops me going any further. I stop moving, stop thinking, stop breathing. I just gaze into his eyes.

He pulls my body tight against his, not breaking his intense gaze, and leans his head towards mine. Only in the last moments do our eyes break away from each others as they close and our lips touch. His every touch is sweet and gentle, and amazing. As we slowly pull apart I can feel a new electricity between us, and by the spark in his eyes, he feels it too.

He breaks into a wide grin and I follow suit. He pulls me closer, into a warm hug and whispers in my ear again.

"You're amazing. I like you so much. Will you go out with me?"

"Yes," I whisper back, no longer caring what rules I'm breaking. I'm in his arms, that's all that matters.