I'm sorry, I can't stop loving you.

i. It was a bright autumn's day, the breeze was humming, the birds were singing; The bees were even buzzing, all a little part to a symphany of sound playing to whomever wanted to listen.

I was one of them who didn't. Running along the side of the track, the air around me seemed to be ten degrees colder than the rest of the weather and I curled up closer to myself as I jogged-- trying to keep myself warm.

I passed couples hugging and cuddling on the benches at the side of the track, on the bleachers, on little blankets with their picnic baskets splayed for the world to see. Each time, I ran faster. It wasn't fair.

ii.  Singing in the Winter is almost a must, the holidays draw near and everyone is excited to see who got them what, and what got them who, and how they were going to dress and what not to do. Kids tried ever so hard to make their parents see how 'good' they've been all year and that they deserve the new game console or that new bike, the new car.

I choose to ride my bike, even through the winter. The snowflakes catching on my lashes and nose, not melting. 'They always called you the queen of ice.'

I rode as fast as my bike would carry me, the ice and snow cracking under my tires and finally, as if I had expected it to happen sooner, I was head-first in a pile of snow. The couples whom I were trying to escape soon surrounded me, all stupidly watching my backside as I struggled.

iii. Your laugh was the first thing that spread through my ears [As soon as the snow had melted out of them], and I remembered how you were the first one to use my nickname, and I didn't shy away, "Princess, isn't there any easier ways to find a castle?"

And I laughed. I fucking laughed.

iv.  My skin was much warmer if you would have felt it that winter, I was happier. Nothing could break me, nothing could take away what I had come so accustomed to in this short bit of time. Had it really only been a month?

The touch of your hand laced against mine filled me with such glee, it could power a paper airplane to the moon and back again; The hope and wish of your kisses on my shoulder, the thought of your body close to mine as we slept would have pushed that plane and kept it going, until some metor captured it and allowed it to take a breather, just for a bit, so it could keep going. Until it had seen everything, experienced everything. Saw, everything.

Your laugh still rang through my ears, and suddenly the name 'Princess' wasn't hated, it was loved. It was cherished. I loved it. I loved you.

v.  You asked me to leave you to alone to think, when I told you I loved you. You needed to breathe. I was smothering you.

I couldn't breathe. My heart broke. I was choking. You were smothering me.

But I nodded and let you think, left you alone. It was only for a little while, right? You'd be my prince again... Right?

vi. It was Spring again before I gained the courage to walk along that broken sidewalk that snaked up to your house, the steps creaked a little louder than I thought they would. I knocked twice on the door, wanting to apologize, wishing that you would take me back, hoping you'd warm my skin those few notches up again by laughing. Or breathing. Or talking. Or, just listening would be nice.

You didn't answer the door, and I reminded myself I was smothering you again, and walked back down those crying stairs and past the shrubs that seemed a bit too messy; the broken sidewalk seemed to break a little more.

Becareful, Ice Princess, you're walking on thin water.