an inside-out experience

outside is cloudy,
inside me- rains,
I'm still awake-
light a cigarette then lie in bed
thinking..
How this cruel word named time
kills us...one by one..?

throughout my dreams
I'm trapped in silence
meaningless eternal silence.
'I fell in love with melancholy' said he.
I'm out of air,I'm cold ...
I've poured my tears
and fed my fears.
now..I'm done..no further meaning..
no hard regrets.Game's over, friends!

the thing is
reality knows too much
what I KNOW is that I don't
and I feel bad..I feel discovered
Is like my enemy has a weapon
I know nothing about..
and I continue fumbling in a hopeless way.
gone are the glorious days
gone is my father
but that's again...another chapter
of my life...
gold can never buy feelings..idiots!

what I surely know
is that all that starts has a well received ending
sooner or later.
(..the absurdity of having a choice..)


<to be continued>