Nothing

My family doesn't understand.
They don't understand what this feels like.
They think they understand but they don't.
And they don't understand why I know they don't understand.
And this seemingly infinite misunderstanding only leads to more misunderstanding.
My friend's don't understand.
Fuck, they don't even know.
They can't understand why I act the way I do.
Why I shut myself off in certain situations.
Why I would rather be secluded in the middle of nowhere than with people.
Why I quit everything positive that I start.
Why I often wish I could leave and never return.
Honestly, most of them don't even know I feel this way.
They haven't taken the time look deeper than my skin.
I'm used to it.
I'm used to feeling this way.
But what scares me the most is that this feeling is fading.
And being replaced with nothing.
When you feel absolutely nothing, what is there to live for?