Goddess of the Moon Ch. 3, 4, 5

This is a bit more of the story I posted previously.  Please provide suggestions and feedback.  Email: [e-mail]



Thanks!





III

WHISPERS



         Even though we had a conversation on Friday night, it was like nothing happened at school when I saw him at lunch.  Things went back to the way they had been since I moved here.  What once gave me hope was being diminished by the absence of his gaze.  I was invisible again.

         I hated Monday at school, I was late to class several times hoping that I would get a glimpse of him; I even walked past their lunch table, which I never had done before, feeling optimistic that he would at least glance my way and acknowledge me.  Not even a glance my way, nothing, not a thing.  I can’t believe this.  I have to stop doing this to myself.  Why do I keep doing this?  I hurried past the table and sat next to Abbey.  She patted me on the back.  I knew she knew what I was thinking and she was only trying to encourage me, keep my spirits up.  More fish in the sea, right.  That’s what I told her.  I really need to listen to my own advice. 

“So what did you all do after we left the bowling alley Friday night?”  Derek asked with a smile on his face.  I knew he was hoping that we would ask the same question, but I didn’t care what he did.  I was too upset to even think about Friday night.  I was so distraught over everything that I didn’t want to know that he hung out with that flirty little…, I can’t go there.  I don’t even know them. 

Abbey leaned forward over the table, “I can’t tell you what we did.  If I told you, I would have to kill you,” she said while chuckling.

“Okay, whatever.  Like we are going to believe anything you have to say.  You have told us that one too many times.  Well, for your information we had a good time after we left the bowling alley.”  I could feel Derek’s smile without having to look up at him. 

“Don’t worry we have already heard all about it.  You all went out with those girls you met at the bowling alley and talked.  That was the latest gossip in the girls’ locker room this morning.  I am happy for you two.  Really happy.”  I knew Abbey was not so thrilled, but they did not have to know that. 

“Not one bit jealous, are we Phoebe? Not even a smidgen?  I know you are, it’s okay.  You still have us…well at least for now you do.”  Evan said as he waved his hands in the air motioning those girls to come sit with us.  This was my territory and I didn’t want anyone else in it, at least right now, today. 

I could see the girls light up when the boys waved them over.  They started skipping all the way to our table. 

“We never got to introduce you all.  This is Phoebe and Abbey.  Phoebe, Abbey, this is Jessica and Lauran.  And of course you all know us.” Derek always had a way with the girls and he flaunted it all the time. 

The girls pulled out a chair to sit down at my table just about the time I picked up my tray and headed toward the trashcan.  I could hear Evan yell across the cafeteria at me. 

“Don’t leave mad, Phoebe.  They just want to be your friend as well.”  As I turned back toward them and waved my hands in the air to let him know I was not upset. 

“I have somewhere to be.”  I said, knowing that I didn’t have anywhere to go and would probably stand out in the hallway until lunch break was over.  I stood outside the lunchroom door trying to figure out where to go and what to do.  The clock read 11:10, which meant we still had 20 minutes of lunch time.

Great, what am I going to do?  If I get caught in the hallway I could get into trouble, but then if I go back into the lunchroom I would have to sit and be nice to those girls.  Not saying that I disliked them, but of all days for them to want to talk, to play nice.  Like sophomore girls want to be friends with freshman.

         I went upstairs to the computer lab, but it was full, so I decided to have some peace and quiet time in the library.  No one will bother me there.  I looked around for a good book to read to pass the time and sat down in one of the comfy chairs by the window.  The book was fascinating, can’t believe I had never read it before.  It was all about vampires and teenagers.  I was so engrossed with the book that I had not been aware that someone had sit down across from me.  I turned to look at the clock behind me; I knew I could not be late for Mr. Thomas’ class.  He would send me straight to detention without even flinching.  There he was, across from me, feet on the table that separated us.  I knew it was him, I could smell his cologne.  He sat there with the paper in front of his face, not speaking to me or even looking at me.  I returned to my book, two can play this game, if this is the way he wants it then fine, I told myself. 

         The bell rung and I jumped up.  Grabbing my bag I looked his way, but still nothing.  He just sat there, motionless.  I walked out of the library upset, why would he sit by me and not speak.  I had to get over it; I had to find something else to occupy my time and keep my mind on other things.    The whole time in Mr. Thomas’ Social Studies class, all I could do was stare out the window.  I was upset, but then when I thought about him sitting across from me, something inside of me got all tingly.  The sensation that came over my body when I thought about him, it had never changed and I wondered if it ever would. 

         I sighed, loud enough for Mr. Thomas to ask me if I had anything I wanted to say.  Was he not doing a good job teaching today?  I looked at him in a daze not knowing what to say.  Finally, my mouth opened, “No. I don’t have anything to say. Sorry.”  He returned to teaching and before I knew it class was over.  The day was almost over with and then I could go home and forget about all of this stupid stuff. 

         Walking through the hallway I came upon Derek and Lauran talking at her locker.  Cute couple, I thought, sure wouldn’t want to tell him that though.  He would get the big head and then I would have to hear about it all sophomore year.  I shoot a nod and smile his way as he reached out and pulled Lauran closer.  Abbey stops me and has a look of disgust on her face.

“Did you know that they are dating each other and Evan with Jessica?  Apparently we are the last to find out.  Looks like it is official, huh?” she says as she points in the direction of Evan walking down the hall hand in hand with Jessica and then back toward Derek reaching for Lauran. 

All I could think was I wonder how long it will last.  I knew these boys better than anyone.  I definitely could not see them staying with one girl very long, now that we are in high school.  They always joked about how big the playing field would be as soon as we left Sevierville Middle School.  I guess they were right after all.  Unfortunately, my field never got bigger because all I wanted was someone that I could not have or someone that didn’t want me. 

“I can’t believe this,” Abbey kept saying, “I just can’t believe this.  What do you think about all of this Phoebe? I mean they just met the girls Friday night.”

“Abbey, that’s what guys are supposed to do, play the field.  We should be out having our own fun.  Not worrying about them and those two girls.  We need to find our own guys. That would make them jealous.” 

“You already have a guy, Phoebe.  I am left out here on my own, by myself.”

I sighed.  “I don’t have anyone.  It is just you and me.”  I reached out and put my arm around her to give her some comfort.  I knew exactly how she felt. 

We walked on down the hall to our next class, Mrs. Smith’s Study Skills class, aka note taking.  I so didn’t want to be in this class today.  There was not one part of it that I liked.  Abbey grabbed her seat next to me and began to take notes.  I knew this was going to be one long, boring hour.  How was I going to pass my time?  I could doodle, finish my English homework, or draw.  What could I draw?  I took out my sketchpad and began to draw.  Drawing always seemed to keep my mind off things I didn’t want to think about, it helped me to relax.  I first started with hearts and squiggly lines and then hands holding.  I flipped over to the next page when Abbey looked over at me. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, I will get your notes tonight, alright?” 

As she nodded at me, I began to draw a face.  I didn’t recognize it at first and then I became surprised when I finished the hair and eyes.  It was Kelan.  Why do I do this?  I have thousands of pictures of him that I have made, why another one.  I guess my art teacher was right; you sometimes draw what you most desire, what you are thinking about, not the things you should be focusing on, such as my still life picture for his class.  The bell begins to sound and I quickly close the cover over the picture, I didn’t want anyone to see it, not even Abbey.  No one knew about my drawings of Kelan, not even her. 

The day was finally over and I sat outside with Abbey as we waited on her sister to pick us up.  She was a senior and never really was at school much.  She was able to co-op, which meant she got to work instead of coming to school.  The Untouchables stood at their cars, not paying attention to anyone but themselves.  Lucas jumped in his black Dodge Demon Sunset and cranked up the music.  He always did this and every time he did, Mrs. Ellington, the head principal would run out to his car and demand he turn it down.  Today was the same routine, she marched herself out the door and to his car.  As soon as she was back in the building though, the music began to blare out again. 

Everyone watched them.  They were always the spotlighted group.  Everyone wanted to be part of them, but no one ever got the chance.  I was just like the rest of them, watching, wondering what they were going to do today.  Were they going to squall tires out of the parking lot, or just sit back and let everyone stare as they hung out.  He walked slowly to his silver Maserati Gran Turisom S.  The sun beamed off it, blinding me.  He sat behind the wheel, staring at me.  I sat there not looking away or even blinking.  I wanted him to know that I saw him, I knew he was looking.  He could deny things all he wanted, but I knew deep down he felt the same way I did. 

With a loud roar, they all fish tailed it out of the parking lot.  Leaving only smoke behind as evidence that they had even been there.  I sat there with Abbey waiting for her sister, when a shiver ran up my body.  I could hear whispering, but no one was around.  It kept repeating the same thing over and over again, but I couldn’t make it out.

“Do you hear that?”

“No.  I don’t hear anything other than those people out there,” pointing in the direction of the preps that were still in the parking lot. 

“I must be imagining stuff.  It has been a long, odd day.  I think I need lots of sleep.”

After a long day at school my bed was like a cloud, soft and fluffy.  I lay there staring up at the ceiling.  I just don’t understand why life has to be so complicated, why so confusing, so frustrating.  I faintly hear mom unlock the door and shout upstairs to me that dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.  I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew mom was standing in my room looking at me.  She reaches over and touches my sketchpad as I open my eyes.  Before my mouth could say no, she already had the pages open; flipping through looking at all the pictures I have drawn, even the ones of Kelan.  How embarrassing, maybe if I lay here really still, she won’t notice my eyes open and this will not become the topic of conversation over dinner tonight. 

She leaves the room and I rush downstairs to grab a plate.  I figure if I tell her and Clarke that I have homework I will be able to eat in my room.  I usually eat in my room, so what would be the difference tonight.  As I plate my lasagna and garlic bread, she touches my arm. 

“Do you want to talk about anything?”

I turn and give her the evil eye.  Normally when I do this she knows to back off and let things be as they are. 

“Seriously Phoebe, what is going on with you lately?  You never want to talk, you are drawing pictures of boys and you never stay home.”

“Mom, do you think those things are abnormal.  I am a teenager.  I don’t want to talk to my mom about everything.  Would you rather I draw pictures of demons and monsters, maybe people killing other people?  And for your information I am a very busy girl.  I have places to go and people to see.”  I finish getting a coke out of the fridge before heading back upstairs.  I over hear Clarke reassuring mom that everything was okay.  This is normal teenage behavior. 



 

IV

SKETCHES



There it goes again.  What in the crap is that?  I must be going crazy.  I must be imagining that voice.  Things are really getting to me.  I need a break.  A school holiday is coming up soon. That will get me back on track.

I look over at my desk and there it is open for all to see, Kelan’s face staring back at me.  I reach under my bed and pull out a box.  I knew what I would find once I pulled the lid off, pictures, but not just any pictures.  There would be pictures of Kelan, drawings and snap shots I took of him.  I wasn’t a stalker just someone who longed to be closer to him.  I pulled off the lid and laid them all out in full glory.  I must say, I am proud of my past time recreation.  I knew I could never show it to anyone and no one could ever know, but looking at all of it made me feel satisfied. 

I had sketches of Kelan when he sat at lunch gazing out the window, walking down the hall, or leaning up against the steps outside.  They told a story, one that lured me in wanting to know more, know every little secret about him, know everything about him.  Then there were the pictures I was able to take with my camera.  Many of them were during the summer when I hid out behind the bleachers watching him practice football.  I looked at this stuff a hundred times; tracing my fingers around his body.  Sometimes I forget to put them away before I go to sleep and wake up next to them the next morning.  It is almost like he was here all night long with me.

The rest of the week was about the same.  We never spoke, it was as if we didn’t know each other, like we were strangers. 

Abbey became restless with the concept of Evan dating someone else, but she could never bring herself to telling him how she really felt.  We made nice by sitting at the same table and allow Jessica and Lauran to join us.  I never understood why they wanted to join our sophomore table.  They had their own junior table filled with their friends.  Are they just playing with Derek and Evan?  Is this a big game to them?  Why would a junior ever want to date someone younger, a sophomore?

That was the least of my worries.  Derek and Evan could take care of themselves.  They had expressed their feelings to us more than once about the situation.  How we needed to butt out and do our own thing. 

You could tell that fall was in the air.  The leaves were starting to change and the nights began to get cooler a lot sooner.  Abbey and I still hung out at the bowling alley, if it we were by ourselves most of the time.  Derek and Evan were consumed with their new girlfriends and that was alright with us, even Abbey was okay with idea by now. 

She had her eyes on someone new.  Someone more mature than those sophomore boys she would always say.  Brady was a junior athlete.  He played most sports offered at the high school.  I would have never thought about a boy like that even giving one of us the time of day.  Some way, somehow Abbey was able to show off her charm and it caught his attention.  They had just started flirty one day out of the blue.  I would see Brady pass by and give her a nudge or she would give him a wink when we walked down the hallway. 

It was nice to see my friend finally over Evan.  She deserved it.  It had been two long months since the whole ordeal began.  Now that she has moved on, Evan was a little upset.  I think he expected her to wait while he roamed the territory. 

And still here I was all alone.  Trying to figure out what I wanted to do.  How I was going to keep my mind off of him, what would distract me?  With so much time to kill, I began drawing and painting even more.  I even started taking photos with the new digital camera Clarke got me (just for the heck of it he said). 

My sketchpad was on the table next to my books when my art teacher came by and accidently knocked it off the table.  As she reached down to pick it up, I was mortified at the place it had opened.  Of all places, why did it have to open there, why had I not removed that picture long ago?

She looked down at the picture and smiled.  “This is really good, Phoebe.  Would you like to share some of your work with the class?”

“No.  I don’t think it is that good.  Someone else can show their work.  Mine is amateur.”  I said while trying to reach for the sketchpad still in her hand before anyone else could see. 

I stood to get a little closer to her, but it was no use.  Emma had already seen the drawing in my sketch book.  She was another member of the Untouchables.  She was the quiet one, the one that was actually friendly to me.  Emma turned to face me.  I lowered my face into my palms, hoping that when I looked back up she would be gone. 

“That is really good.  I wish I could draw like that.”  Emma said as she touched the drawing.  “You should show everyone, you could teach us a pointer or two.”

I looked up while she admired my drawing, a portrait of Kelan.  Something that was private, only for my eyes.  My mind started to race.  What was I going to do?  Could I blame it on someone else, maybe Abbey?  No one would believe that, even her stick men were horrible.  I knew that she would not keep it a secret.  What one Untouchable knows, all the Untouchables know, in just a matter of seconds it seemed.  How was I going to face him? 

The bell rang and I jumped from my seat snatching my book from Mrs. Clarke’s hands.  I walked around trying to find Abbey.  I didn’t want to walk out on the porch by myself. I knew they would be outside, waiting for me, gawking at me as if I had done something wrong. 

She was nowhere to be found.  I reached for my cell phone to call her when the phone started to vibrate.  I answered it, recognizing the voice on the other end, “Where are you?  I have to talk.”

“I am with Brady.  We are on the football field.  Madison can still take you home, but I am riding with Brady.  I already talked with Madison.  She will pick you up in the usual spot.  Can we talk later?”

I could hear the excitement in her voice and I didn’t want to bother her with my stupid stuff.

“Sure, we will talk later.”

I exited the school side doors and took my familiar spot at the end of the porch.  There they were, looking in my direction, Kelan Adams, Lucas Presley, Reagan Matthews, Emma Cummings, Kylee Grant and Carter Ellis.  It told me everything, Emma had told them about the drawing.  I could barely see Kelan because of the glare from his car.  That once cold, uneasy feeling came over me.  What were they thinking?  What was he thinking?  Did he think I was just a strange little sophomore girl with a crush on him?  Or did he just feel sorry for me?

They all left with the exception of Kelan.  He stayed in his car, not making a sound.  Madison pulled up and I jumped in.  She flew past his car so fast that I couldn’t get a chance to see his face. 

At home I ripped out the sketch and started to cut it into little bits.  I couldn’t make myself do it.  If I cut it up, it would be like cutting my heart into little pieces as well.  I reach for my box and slip the paper in without looking at any of the others.  I wanted to crawl up in a little hole and die. 

The next morning I tried to pretend that I was sick so that I could stay home, but no, mom wouldn’t let me.  She insisted that I take cold medicine and enjoy the beautiful weather outside before it started to snow. 

Abbey ran up to me at my locker wanting to know about the picture.  I looked at her with a dumb look on my face.

“What are you talking about?”

“Some picture that you had drawn of Kelan.  It was the talk at the football practice yesterday.”

Now I realized why Kelan stayed back.  He had football practice.

“Shh!  Keep your voice down.  I don’t want anyone else to know about it.”

“I think it is too late for that.  You know how girls are.  The cheerleaders were practicing as well yesterday after school.  So, when Reagan showed up she announced it to everyone.  Kelan has an admirer, she said.  I know what I heard.  She let it out to everyone.”

I could feel my knees become weak and it wasn’t because of Kelan being close to me.  It was because of the sick feeling I had in my stomach. 

“You have to be joking.  Who all was there?  Who all heard her?”

“Well, there were several people before Kelan rushed over and pulled her off the field.  We could hear them arguing.  I am assuming about this.”

I closed my eyes hoping that when I opened them again I will still be in my bed, listening to the alarm clock go off.  It could all be a dream.  It could.  I opened my eyes slowly to realize that it was not a dream.  I would never live this down.  I would have to carry this around with me my entire high school years.  My chance, what little it had already been, with Kelan was now nothing.  He would never look at me, now that he knew this.

“It is okay Phoebe.  It is not the worst thing in the world that could happen.” 

Abbey’s sympathy did not help.  I ran down the hallway and hit the floor crying once I entered the bathroom stall.  I was never going to be able to face anyone at this school again.  I hoped mom would break up with Clarke so that we could move.  Go somewhere warmer, somewhere far away from here.

“Phebs, are you in here?  Would you please come out?  Everything will be okay.”

“No.  Abbey just leave me alone. Go away.”

“Phoebe, please come out.  I am here for you.”

“No. Go away.  Tell Mr. Jones that I got sick and am in the bathroom.  I will stop by the nurse to get an excuse later.  Just go.”

I heard the door open and then close.  Finally, I thought, I am by myself.  Once I gained my composure, I picked myself up off the floor and opened the bathroom stall.  I peeked out to make sure I was alone and then darted toward the sink to wipe off my face.  With my hands gripping the edge of the sink, I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths.  I pulled on the door handle and slowly stepped out into the hall.  Hoping and praying that no one would be roaming the halls just yet.  Standing beside the water fountain was Kelan.  What is he doing here?  How am I going to get past him?  I can’t deal with him right now.  I have to get to class.

I nervously walk by as his hand reached out for my arm. 

“Wait.”

I felt my stomach turn into knots.  What was I going to say?  How was I going to explain this?

I turn hesitantly his way, with my face down.  I couldn’t look him in the eyes. 

“Are you not going to talk?  Cat got your tongue?”

After all these months he has the nerve to ask me that.  I had waited and waited on him to speak to me and not once did he make the attempt. 

I stood there not saying a word.  He asked the questions again and it ran all over me.

“Cat got your tongue, how dare you ask me that question.  Can you answer that same question?  What has been wrong with you the last two months?  Not a word, not even a nod.  What nerve you have asking me that?”

I attempt to break free from his grasp, but it was no use.  His hand was wrapped around my arm like a python on its prey.  It wasn’t hurting, I could never picture him hurting me, physically at least.  My heart, well that was a different story. 

“Phoebe,” he paused before continuing, “I am sorry about all of this.  I just can’t explain everything to you.  You wouldn’t understand and I can’t take hurting you.”

I stop him right there, “Hurt me.  Do you not think you are hurting me?  You talk to me and then you stop.  How do you think that makes me feel?”

He lowers his head.  Not wanting to look me in the eyes anymore.  Was he hurt or was he embarrassed about the way he had been treating me?

“I can’t.  I can’t explain and I can’t go there.  I just can’t.  It is too risky and I can’t put you through that.” 

“I don’t understand.  Can you explain?  What do you mean?”  The words came out harshly, but he had to understand that I was hurt, I wanted an explanation, I wanted something.

His grip loosened from my arm and I backed away.  Tears began to stream down my face once again like they did in the bathroom stall.  He raised his hand to wipe them away, but I turned my head.  I didn’t want his sympathy.  I wanted to stop hurting.  I wanted the pain to go away.



V

CHANGES



The October Festival – Hometown- was nearing.  It was a big shindig the town held that included different activities, such as lip sync, live music, arts and crafts, contests, and booths.  We always got out for it because of all the traffic and the school knew that students would use it as an excuse to skip. I not only entered my drawing from art class, but I also entered a couple of the pictures I had taken in my spare time after school. 

Abbey and I were supposed to meet up with Derek and Evan that Friday morning of the festival.  I sit on a bench by the old barber shop anxiously awaiting the arrival of my long time friends.  We had been coming to the festival together ever since I could remember.  It almost felt like a tradition, like a family holiday ritual.  Derek arrived first, then Evan and Abbey.  I was surprised to see them without their hip partners. 

         “So, where did you leave the other half?”  I asked even though I didn’t really care to know.

“They are meeting up with us later.  We wanted us time.”  Evan said as he picked on Abbey.  Something that still continued even after they both found someone else. 

Derek was quite the first few minutes before he turned to me and asked, “So, where is your flame?”

Abbey kicked him so hard you could hear it over the loud music. 

“I blew it out. I didn’t want it to catch anything on fire.”  I said with a big grin on my face.  “Stupid question deserves a stupid answer.”

We pranced around the square darting from one booth to another like we were kids again.  Look at this, look at that.  It brought back great memories and I never wanted to forget them.  It had been such a long time since we all had hung out, I almost forgot what it was like. 

Derek was always by my side and Evan with Abbey.  We put our arms around one another as we crossed the road on our way to the lip sync.  I desperately did not want to sit with the couples, but they persuaded me.  I don’t think I have laughed that much the entire year.  There were guys dressed up in women clothing, some singing a Dolly Parton song, others pretending to be Cher.  As the end was nearing, I said my goodbyes and walked across the street, along.  I was a third wheel and really didn’t want to sit around chit chatting with all of the love birds. 

I strolled around the booths one more time before heading over to the food court.  It had been hours since we ate lunch and I was starving.  With all the new items I could try, I settle on a piece of pepperoni pizza and a cherry coke. 

         “Is that all you want, sweetie?”  The lady behind the stand asks me.

“Yeah, got to leave room for dessert.” 

         I made my way past the crowd to a picnic table that looked as if it had never been cleaned.  I grabbed a couple of napkins and place them on the part where I was going to sit.  As I sit there eating my food, I start reminiscing about the past.  The many times I came here with my friends and how much fun we had.  We could play with silly string for hours and never get tired of it. 

         The table shifted causing me to pull my attention away from my memories. 

         “How are you tonight?”

         I looked up and saw Emery Taylor.  A junior art nerd at least that was what I always said to him.  He was not your typical art student.  We have pictures in our mind of what an artsy person would look like, and he definitely did not fit that stereotypical picture.  Emery was muscular, with dark brown hair and brown eyes.  I often was distracted by his beauty and charm in class.  Every girl wanted to catch his attention.

         “I am good, how are you?” I said as he scooted in front of me. 

         “I have been looking for you.  I saw you leave the lip sync and thought maybe something was wrong.”

         I was floored by him; he was looking for me, why?

         “No, I am fine.  My friends wanted some alone time with their other half.”  I smiled as I looked away from my pizza and into his eyes.

         “I can’t believe they wanted to leave you.  Man, I don’t think I like them.”

         “I left them.  They wanted me to stay, but I get tired of being the third wheel in an already crowded seat.  If you know what I mean.”

         “Well, then I am glad you left them. You can hang out with me that is if you want.”  He never ceases to amaze me.  Emery had a charm about him that made any girl fall in love with him.

         “I can’t say that I have any plans tonight.  As usual, I will be alone.”

         “No you aren’t.  You are coming with me.”  He reaches out for my hand and I let him take it. 

         We rode around town for a while, watching everyone, stopping and going, stopping and going, for all of the people crossing the road in front of us.  His phone dings and he checks the message. 

         “What time do you have to be home tonight?”

         “Most usually around 10 o’clock or so.  If I am a little late, I won’t get yelled at too much.”

         “I just got a text message from one of my friends and he is at a party right now.  He wants me to come.  I will only go if you will.  I really want to hang out with you.”  Emery reached for my hand and I let him.  This was the first time that I didn’t think about Kelan.  The first time my heart actually skipped a beat for someone else.

         “We can go for a little while.  I don’t really like parties though.  Where is it?”

         “We don’t have to stay long.  Just long enough for me to make an appearance and then we can go.  It is at Emma’s house.  She always has a party during the festival.  Lip sync and all.”

         I could feel my heart drop to my stomach at the mention of Emma, the Untouchable clan in general. 

         “I don’t know.  I don’t think I should go there.  I am not welcomed.”

         “Don’t worry, you are with me.  No one will care.”  His tightening of my hand reassured me that everything would be okay.  He would take care of me and when I was ready to go we would.

         We approached the door and I was still in shock over the enormous size of the house.  It was in a secluded neighborhood on the outskirts of town.  Never a part I would have entered without someone with me. 

         The door flew open and we walked in. The house was decorated with a fall festival décor.  The backyard was all equipped with a stage and sound system for those that wanted to lip sync and be judged by their peers.  I stayed by Emery’s side, not wanting to be caught by myself.  I didn’t want to think about the Untouchables, if I were alone, they might possibly start questioning my presence.  As long as I stayed hand in hand with Emery, no one was going to say a word to me. 

         “Glad you could make it.”  It was a familiar voice I recognized.  If I kept my attention elsewhere, I didn’t have to turn and face her.

         As Emery turned around, he pulled me as well.  “Glad I could too.  Great party you have thrown this time.” 

         “Hi, Phoebe.” 

         I hated to speak, but knew that it would be rude if I didn’t. 

         “Hi, Emma.  You have a beautiful home.”

         “Thanks!”

         She moved on through the crowd as Emery and I made our way to the refreshment table.  I picked up a glass of coke and stood there wondering what in the heck I was doing there.  Emery put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “When you get ready to go, we can.  Just let me know.”

         I looked up at him and smiled.  He made me feel so comfortable and at ease.  I could be swimming with sharks, but as long as he was there with me I would be okay.  We moved around the crowd to mingle and I noticed Kelan standing up in the balcony.  He must have seen me, if he didn’t I am sure Emma let him know.  I found a bathroom and darted toward it.  I would be safe in here for a few minutes.  As soon as I found Emery again, I would let him know I was ready to go. 

         I opened the door and started walking down the hallway.  Before I could reach the end, Kelan popped around the corner.  He just stood there staring at me.  We didn’t speak.  If we had I don’t know what we would have said.  It is the same old thing every time. 

         “Hey Kelan, I see you found my girl for me.” 

         Kelan swiftly turned around and saw Emery standing only inches from his face.  He brushed by him and never looked back.  Emery came toward me with open arms.

         “Are you okay?  I should have never brought you here.  I am sorry.”

         “Don’t worry about it, everything is fine.  We can leave when you are ready.”

         He took my hand and we slowly walked out the door and to his car.  The car gradually came to a stop by the curb outside my house. 

         “Phoebe.  I want you to know that I have had my eye on you for some time.  Guess I was slow about telling you.  I had fun tonight.”

         “I did too.”

         “Can we do it again sometime?”

         “I would love to Emery.”  Reaching for his phone, I added my contact information and handed it back to him.

         “You have my number.  Just give me a call.”

         As I walked up the front porch steps, I turn to see him one last time.  He sat there with the window rolled down, watching me.  The smile across my face said it all.  I was happier than I had been in a long time. 

         I ran upstairs and called Abbey.  It rang several times before I heard her voice.

         “Something wrong, Phoebe?”

         “No, nothing is wrong, but everything is right.”

         “What are you talking about?”

         “I went to the food court after leaving you all.  Emery came up to talk and we hung out the rest of the night.  He took me to a party, not just any party, an Untouchable party.”

         “You went where?”

         “I know it sounds crazy, but I was at Emma’s party.  You should have seen it, her house, the decorations, everything.  It was amazing.”

         We talked the rest of the night about who was at the party, the decorations, the music, everything.  I didn’t leave out one single detail.  I was too excited to sleep and I wanted to tell someone about my incredible night.

         My once boring days at school were no longer after Emery and I were official.  I didn’t have any trouble trying to forget about Kelan, Emery was all I needed.  The worst part of the day was not seeing him until lunch and then not again until art class.  I was so hard to concentrate on art with Emery sitting across the table from me. 

         I would notice Kelan roaming the halls, sneaking a peek into the room every once and awhile.  I knew anything Emery and I said or did was getting back to him.  They all stuck together and that included Emma, the only one that had been nice to me from the start. 

         Days started to turn into weeks and then before I knew it a month had passed.  It was almost Thanksgiving and that meant a holiday break.  I loved the holidays, it meant a few days to rest.  It meant Thanksgiving turkey with the family and lots of games afterwards.  Emery and his family went on vacations during holidays.  They would go from one place to another.  I never knew if it was because they hated celebrating the holidays or if it had been a long tradition, a way to spend quality time with the family. 

         It was the big thing going on at school this time of the year, the Winter Ball.  My mom and I had already picked out a dress.  It was a light purple with rhinestones, spaghetti straps and a “V” back.  It sparked every time I got it out of the closet.  Emery arrived at my house in his father’s old 1969 Chevy Mustang.  Mom and Clarke took so many pictures; I thought I was blind before we even left the house. 

         The Ball room was decorated like a Winter Wonderland.  There were white and light blue balloons everywhere, snow blowing around, and the table clothes were glistening with the metallic overlay.  A portion of the dance floor was covered in fake snow, while the rest was showered with glitter.  The music was a mix of the classics and today’s favorites.  There were people dancing to the Beyonce song, “All the Single Ladies.”  Guys were even out there making a show for themselves.

         Emery and I sat at a table that consisted of some of my old friends and a few of his.  The night was unbelievable.  We danced, we talked, and we laughed.  I could not have asked for a better night. 

         A slow song started playing and Emery reached for my hand.

         “Dance with me?”

         “I would be honored.”  I said with a huge grin across my face.

         As we danced, I could feel him breathing.  Air from the snow machine blew past me and I caught a recognizable scent.  It was the same cologne Kelan wore; I had never noticed Emery wearing it before.  Maybe it was for special occasions I thought. 

         “Thank you for coming with me.  This is the best night ever.”  Emery whispered in my ear.

         I lifted my head from his shoulder and smiled.

         “This is the best night ever for me too.”

         I couldn’t believe it we were finally growing up, my friends and I; we were in high school and at a dance for juniors and seniors.  I never thought this would ever happen to me.

         I washed the make up from my face and started to brush my teeth.  It was the same routine I performed every night.  I heard my phone, so I ran to get it.  It was a text message from Emery.

         “I had a wonderful time with you tonight.  Looking forward to many more  xoxo.”

         I sent a message back to him letting him know that tonight was the night of my life so far. I put the phone back on my night stand and returned to the bathroom to finish brushing my teeth. 

         Looking over at my phone, I saw that I had missed another message.  It must be from Emery again, I thought.  He is always sending me sweet messages.  I open the message quickly to read what he said, but it wasn’t from him.  I didn’t know who it was from. 

         “You looked beautiful tonight.”  Was all it said. 

         I shrugged it off as a wrong number, that message was meant for someone else.  It was sweet that a guy wanted to tell his girlfriend that she looked beautiful, I thought.

         My dream was filled with dancing, laughter, and talking.  It was a recreation of the wonderful night I had just returned home from.  The music was vivid in my dreams, every aspect of the entire event.  It was as if I were still there.  A voice kept calling out, but it was so faint that I could not make out what the person was saying.  I moved across the dance floor in the direction of the sound, “You look beautiful tonight.”  I heard it, I did this time.  I frantically looked around to find who was saying this, but no one was there.  It was just a voice.

The night turned into morning and I dreaded the sunlight that was about to shine through my window.  I pulled the covers up over my head so that I could get a few more hours of sleep.  I finally rolled out of bed and saw the time on my alarm clock.  It was 2:30 in the afternoon.  My mother didn’t come to wake me.  She was always up and around, ready to disturb me. 

         I sat up in bed and turned on the television.  What a dream.  It was all so surreal, almost like it happened, but didn’t.  I must be losing it, I told myself as I reached for my phone on the night stand.

Four missed messages scrolled across my phone display.  A smile came across my face, as I thought about the night before.  I began to read the messages.

         Message 1:  “Did you get my last message?  You looked beautiful tonight.”

         Message 2:  “I hope one day you will understand.”

         Message 3:  “I miss you.”

         Message 4:          “Please don’t hate me.  Please forgive me.”

         These had to be for someone else.  There wasn’t one person I could think of that would have my cell number and send these messages to me.  I dismissed them and carried on with my day.  A call from Emery led to a day at the park, feeding ducks in the cold and a night snuggling in front of the television watching a movie.  I was so happy that my life was finally turning around.  I had a great guy, school was good, and my friends were still my friends.

         I kissed Emery goodnight and ran to my room.  Lately, every day was perfect, a memory that I hoped never to forget.  Kelan on the other hand was becoming a distant, well not so distant, memory.  The box under my bed had not once been out since Emery.  I didn’t need them; I didn’t need the comfort of Kelan.  I was proud of myself; almost every day and night I had to get them out, look at them and dream and now I all I needed was to think of the time I spend with Emery.