His and Her Circumstances

His and Her Circumstances


Kyle:          She cuts her finger on the coloring sheet the waitress gave her as a kid’s menu.  A small bead of dark red blood immediately wells up.  Kairi doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but I hear her sharp hiss of pain and see her quickly wrap her other hand around her finger.  She lowers her hands beneath the table and looks into the distance with a carefully controlled, expressionless face, trying not to let the pain show on her face so that I won’t notice she cut herself.  She’s only seven, but ever since her mom, my sister, died last year, she’s tried to be brave and self-reliant.  She’s had to be to survive, under the circumstances. 

         Her dad, my brother-in-law, isn’t a bad person, but if he has one sin, it’s that he loved my sister too much.  That in itself isn’t a bad thing, but now that Emily is gone, he’s barely alive.  He can’t function as a father, and barely as a man.  Kairi reminds him of my sister, so he doesn’t like to bear around her because it’s too painful.  He’s not deliberately trying to be cruel, but his pain is more important to him than her pain at his rejection is.  So I’m her family instead.  I make up for everything else she doesn’t have.  I’m only fifteen, so I go to school everyday, but I hang out with her everyday after school.  My family and hers are next-door-neighbors, so it’s easy for me to go pick her up from her house on my way home. 

         I smile slightly, then shake my head, reaching into my backpack to pull out a band-aid.  I always carry them with me so that I’ll be prepared if something like this happens.  I reach across the table.  “Give me your hand.”  Kairi looks up in surprise.  Then she sees the band-aid in my hand and smiles a little self-consciously.  She holds out her index finger so I can wrap the band-aid around it.  She tries to be so independent, but she still needs someone she can trust and rely on. 


Kairi:          I cut my finger on the stupid kid’s menu.  Stupid paper.  I put my finger beneath the table so that Kyle won’t notice I got cut, because getting cut’s something a kid would do, and I can’t be a kid anymore.  I don’t even like coloring, I was only doing it because Kyle will praise me if I do it well.  ‘So hah, coloring sheet, take that. I don’t even like you.’ I think, giving the sheet a dirty look when Kyle isn’t looking. 

         After digging around in his backpack, Kyle reaches across the table and asks for my cut hand.  And I thought I hid it so well, how did he notice?  But I’ll admit that it makes me feel more secure when I know he’s watching out for me, even with something so little.  Him being around has really allowed me to keep going, because when I’m with him I can finally relax, and it’s like all my other problems fade away. 

         I smile brightly, “Thanks!” and pick up the menu again carefully.  I think I’ll give up on coloring it, since I’ve already been burned once (so to speak), and I don’t want to give the paper another chance.  The waitress comes by to get our orders, “A cheeseburger and Sprite, please.”  I say.  Kyle orders, too, and then she leaves to bring our food.  “Can we go to the park after we finish eating?”  I ask. 
         “Yeah, sure, if you want to.  But why the park?”  He asks, head tilted slightly sideways. 
         “Because I want to make a wish in the fountain!”  I laugh excitedly. 
         Kyle chuckles at me.  “Well, okay then.  We’ll go right after this.” 

         We eat and then leave the restaurant.  We are walking along the sidewalk in comfortable silence, and I open my mouth to –uh! – A big man grabs my left arm and jerks me off my feet roughly.  He pulled me so hard that my shoulder feels like it got ripped apart!  It hurts a lot and he’s not stopping he’s dragging me and it hurts he’s running fast my arm hurts my knees are scraping on the concrete it hurts I’m scared! 


Kyle:          A tall man with a hoodie on snatches Kairi’s arm and pulls so roughly that her hand slips from mine and then drags her off down an alley and into a doorway at the end.  I shout “Hey!” then “Stop!” at the top of my lungs.  I immediately follow, my heart pounding with fear.  I rush down the alley and into the doorway at the end, only to see the man facing me inside a large, warehouse-type room with his hand clamped on Kairi’s arm and holding a gun with a silencer in his free hand.  I stop cold in my tracks.  If he shoots her…  Next to him are three teenage kids-two boys and a girl.  They are kneeling on the ground with their mouths duct-taped shut and their hands bound behind their back.  Their eyes are wild and they look exhausted and as if they have been terrified for so long that their bodies can’t take it anymore.  Upon seeing me they are all making urgent sounds that are muffled so that I can’t understand, but I know they are pleading to be saved.  Kairi’s knees are bleeding through holes in her jeans, and she is clutching the shoulder of the arm the man is holding with her face screwed up in pain.  Her shoulder looks odd, somehow, and then I realize that her arm is at an odd angle and seems a little too long.  It’s probably broken.  Cold rage blooms in my heart and run through my blood. 

         “What do you want?” I ask slowly.  I put my hands by my side and try to conceal the fact that they are trembling with the urge to strangle and wring his neck until the life goes out of him.  I try to control my face so that he can’t see the bloodlust. 

         “You’ve come to our notice.  We are…interested…in you two.”  He says, pulling back his hood to reveal a man around 40 with a shaved head.  His eyes are a cruel pale grey and they look straight at me calculatingly and with no fear.  “So I’m conducting an experiment; a test–if you will.” He continues, smiling coldly.  “What will you do, Kyle, when confronted with a situation where all solutions end with death for someone?”  How does he know my name?  “You have three options. 

“One: I kill this girl, your niece, but everyone else goes free.  Two: I kill these three innocent children, who have absolutely nothing to do with you two, and you and her get to go free.  Three: You die, and everyone else gets to leave no more harmed than they are now.  And I know you have no guarantees that I’m telling the truth and won’t just kill you all, but I am telling the truth.”  Kairi’s face shows fear as she looks straight at me, and my mind stops racing and calms down as it comes to the only answer possible for me.  The hostages on the ground start to whimper and struggle, their eyes filled with fear and pleading, tears running down their faces.  I feel pity for them.  They’re so terrified, and I could save three lives right now by doing the right thing. 

         “Kill those three, and let Kairi go.”  I say with a silent sigh. 

         The man’s eyebrows stretch up in surprise and his mouth tenses.  “Are you sure?” He asks me seriously.  I nod, and he slowly aims his gun at the first in line, a boy, and shoots, giving me time to change my mind.  The boy’s head is blown off, and I am shocked that the gun does so much damage.  Blood splatters over the man and some even gets on Kairi.  Slowly, he goes down the line and shoots the other boy, and then the girl.  I looked into each of their eyes as they died, both them and I knowing that I could save them.  And yet I stayed silent and did nothing.  Blood is pooling around them, so much blood. As a rivulet runs towards the man and gets on his shoes, he makes a face of distaste and steps away, letting Kairi go.  I know that all that blood is staining my hands with the responsibility for their lives.  But at least it is not Kairi’s blood, and that makes these deaths worth it. 


Kairi:          The man is holding my left arm very roughly above my head, and I clench my other hand over my hurt shoulder instinctively, as if I squeeze hard enough the pain will go away.  I know it won’t, but I still clench, because there’s nothing else I can do.  I know I’m useless, and I hate it. 

         Kyle stands just inside the door to the alley, panting slightly.  He goes completely still when he sees me, and then he glances to the people tied on the floor to the other side of the big man, and then immediately back to me.  His jaw clenches slightly and then he looks straight into the face of the big man and asks, “What do you want?” 

         I am surprised by the man’s reply, and it scares me.  “You’ve come to our notice.  We are…interested…in you two.”  He says while pulling back his hood slowly.  “So I’m conducting an experiment; a test, if you will.”  He pulls back his lips over his teeth in what is probably supposed to be a smile, but to me it looks more like a predatory baring of teeth preceding an attack.  “What will you do, Kyle, when confronted with a situation where all solutions end in death for someone?  You have three options. 

         “One: I kill this girl, your niece, but everyone else goes free.  Two: I kill these three innocent children, who have absolutely nothing to do with you two, and you and her get to go free.  Three: You die, and everyone else gets to leave no more harmed than they are now.  You have no guarantees that I’m telling the truth and won’t just kill you all, but I am telling the truth.”  I know Kyle won’t let me die; he’s honorable and I trust him.  But…is he too honorable to let those other people die?  Will he choose to leave me by myself so that he can save them?  Will he die?  I feel my eyes start to sting as I look at his face, my own thoughts too much for me.  He glances at me and then looks at the people on the other side of the man.  They are whimpering desperately and pleading to him with their eyes.  I see his eyebrows clench and mouth tighten in pity.  ‘No! You can’t, you can’t!’  Kyle’s shoulders sag. 

         “Kill those three, and let Kairi go.”  My thoughts pause for a second in shock.  I…wasn’t expecting that.  My knees almost buckle in relief as I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.  I don’t have to part with him just yet; I have more time. 

         The man’s hand tightens on my wrist, and I know it’s going to leave bruises.  “Are you sure?”  Kyle just nods resignedly.  The man aims his gun at the boy closest to him, and pulls the trigger.  There is no loud bang, and I realize that he must have a silencer on the gun.  Something warm splashes onto my cheek just as Kyle exhales sharply and clenches his teeth.  I look over to see a body sitting on the floor with no head.  The neck is bloody with blood still bubbling out of the jugular veins and bits of loose skin hanging off the edges.  Wow…  I force myself to be calm right now; I can panic after…this.  I look back at Kyle’s face as the man shoots the other two.  But seeing the look on his face is almost as bad as just looking directly at those poor people.  I watch Kyle’s face as he looks into their eyes as their lives are stolen from them.  And I see in his eyes the responsibility for those lives settle like a weight on his soul.  The man suddenly steps back and releases my arm, allowing me to run towards Kyle.  I slam into him and wrap my good right arm around his leg, closing my eyes and resting my head on his leg in relief.  My knees start shaking, and I can’t make them stop, so I clutch his leg harder so that I won’t fall and squeeze my eyes more tightly closed.  Kyle rests his hand on my head and strokes my hair and face soothingly, calming me down.  “It’s okay, Kairi.  Everything’s okay.” 


Kyle:          Kairi runs to me and clutches at my leg, shaking slightly.  ‘Poor Kairi, you must be so scared’ I think as I reach my hand down and stroke her hair.  I wipe some blood off her cheek, smearing it.  “It’s okay, Kairi.”  I say, not taking my eyes off the man.  I don’t trust him.  “Everything’s okay.” 

         “You’re free to go, just like I promised.” says the man, waving his arm out in front of him.  I stare intently at him, memorizing his face, etching it into my memory.  I’ll definitely never forget it. 

         “Get behind me, Kairi, and start walking towards the alley.”  I say, gently pulling the arm that’s wrapped around my leg.  She looks up at me and nods gravely, and the gets at my back and starts to walk towards the door, never letting go of the fabric of my jeans.  I back out with her, never taking my eyes off the man, but he just stares at us silently, an amused little smile on his face.  “We’ll be in touch.” He calls out just as I step through the doorway. 

         Once we’re out in the ally and away from the doorway.  I turn around and pick Kairi up, sprinting as fast as I can towards the street.  I still don’t trust that man, and I wouldn’t put it past him to shoot me in the back as we leave.  Once in the street, I continue running until I’m sure no one is pursuing us.  Even if they were, I’m so tired I can barely breath and my legs are trembling.  After finally stopping and regaining my breath, I look around and realize that we’re at the park that Kairi had wanted to go to.  I walk to a bench next to a fountain and set her down to examine her injuries. 
         She winces in pain as her arm is jostled, and I realize that my running the whole way must have hurt a lot for her.  I gently feel her shoulder and can tell that it’s only been dislocated, thank goodness.  “This is going to hurt, Kairi, okay?”  She nods bravely and clenches her jaw.  I pop her shoulder back into place as quickly as I can and she screams through clenched teeth as her whole body tenses and her back arches in pain.  After a few seconds she calms down and breathes heavily, cradling her hurt arm.  I kneel next to her wincing with sympathetic pain.  “Are you okay?” I ask after she’s had a few seconds to calm down. 

         “Yes, it just really hurts, but I’m okay.” She smiles grimly.  “I know I should probably be scared, but really, I’m just angry.”  Kairi looks up at me questioningly, as if I know the answers.  But I don’t.  The normal response in a situation such as this would be to be terrified and worried for my own life, but all I can think about is how that man hurt Kairi.  How she screamed in pain at my re-locating her shoulder and how she was shaking so badly she could barely walk when she clung to me back in the warehouse.  What should be fear is replaced by cold, bloodthirsty anger.  I imagine that man’s gray eyes going blank and rolling back in his head as I choke the life out of him.  It’s pleasurable, this feeling of wanting to kill.  Kairi takes my hand and squeezes it, “You too, huh?” 

         “Yeah…maybe what happened hasn’t fully hit me yet or something.” And as soon as I say it, it does hit me.  I just allowed three people to die so that Kairi and I could live.  And I could have given my life for theirs, but I didn’t want Kairi to be alone, and I didn’t want to die, either.  So Kairi and I live, and they don’t.  Kairi squeezes my hand again, bringing my attention back to her. 


Kairi:          “I’m glad you’re alive.”  Of course I do feel sorry for those kids that just died, but Kyle and I are more important.  Am I heartless?  I’m not sure, and it bothers me a bit, but I’d rather not dwell on things that make me feel bad.  Kyle looks at me and I see the lingering anger in his eyes come back, pushing away his guilt.  My anger flares up in response, and I want to fight something.  It’s strange….

Copyright A. Ellis 2009