Honor of Sin - Draft

The Honor in Sin



    Midday sunlight streamed in through the large arched windows of the Great Hall, the stone tracery creating elongated crisscross shadows through the light where it came to rest across the oak floor. Dust motes illuminated by the bright rays floated aimlessly like minions of tiny fairies.

    James lay sprawled across a long bench with his cloak bunched behind his head, his forearm slung over his eyes. With one lean leg stretched out before him the other rested casually on the floor, the slight flexing of his toes the only indicator the young warrior was not asleep.



      Peter and Father Graham sat at a game of chess, the monk's head bent intently over the beautifully carved pieces. Peter reclined opposite the monk his extended legs crossed at the ankles. Propping his elbow on the arm of his chair and resting his chin in the crook of his thumb and finger, he sat back, watching the monk keenly.

      Black pawn to D4, white pawn to E4 captures black pawn, en-passant. The old man was apparently not the most skilled player as this move was nearly obvious to the learned eye, yet the monk's gaze lingered over the black pawn, clearly favoring the idea for his next move.

      Peter was not particularly fond of chess and even less of the gluttonous, and more so over righteous, man sitting across from him. In light of Simon's nerves resembling something akin to a citole string pulled too tight, occupying the monk with a task that entailed a relatively high level of silence seemed a good strategy. Noting the dramatic cessation of speech from the monk Peter was relieved to admit this strategy appeared to be working.

      He had come to realize, when it came to women, men of the cloth had as many beliefs, opinions and varying levels of tolerance as there were women themselves. Although there were many men of faith who did not subscribe so wholeheartedly to the belief than women were nothing short of the scourge of the earth, forever to be mired in the legacy of Eve's sin, there were unfortunately many whom that particular train of thought prevailed, Father Graham obviously being one of the later mind.

      Since the morning, the monk preached unceasingly of the curse of all woman to suffer in the pains of childbirth. For the most part his comments had gone widely ignored.

      It wasn't until dinner when the monk commented on Lily atoning for her rather remarkable litany of sin by sacrificing her life to God whilst in the throws of childbirth, did Peter perceive a sudden and dangerous wrench on those strings and decided drastic measures needed to be taken. The black look Simon had given the man promised death of a different sort, which would no doubt be short in coming if that particular line of speech continued.

    Since, by church law, the Lily could not be blessed until forty days hence, the only purpose of the man's presence was to offer bless the child and offer last rites should Lily die. Being that possibility lying foremost on Simon's mind it presented the monk as a necessary evil of sorts, thereby making his near proximity to Simon dangerous yet tolerated, if barely.

    As expected Father Graham moved his black pawn which Peter smoothly captured.

    With a groan of astonished dismay Father Graham bent over the board once again, his face crunched in determined concentration.



      The slow, rhythmic thud of booted feet on wood marked the otherwise unusual silence of the Great Hall. Michael paced between the width of the trestle tables, idly rolling a small dagger between his fingers, his eyes focused unseeing at the floor.

      How long had it been since Lily's pains started at daybreak, seven hours at least. By all accounts it hadn't been very time. He'd known women to take days to be delivered but Simon's obvious distress was palpable if not down right oppressive. Michael wouldn't be surprised if Lord Carn had not issued orders the hall, or perhaps just Simon, was to be avoided as much as possible. It was the only logical answer for their solitude. He would have to thank the Lord for his generosity and consideration. It could be at no small inconvenience to the people of the castle to avoid the primary thoroughfare for daily life.

    Afternoon dinner and come and gone and the usual daily clatter of the hall dissipated as the people of Castle Carn slowly vanished leaving the men eerily alone in the cavernous room. Only the occasional appearance of a servant passing through to the upper floors or crossing to the kitchens disturbed the unnatural silence.

      Dinner had been an auspicious occasion, the lord and lady honoring the imminent new arrival. Countless toasts had been made which Simon had graciously thanked each in turn. There had been music and dancing, knights and men-at-arms placed bets to the gender of the child and time of delivery. Only Michael and the men had noted Simon's plate had gone largely untouched. Although he had remained amiable, any attempts to engage him in conversation had been futile.

    He glanced at expectant father who stood leaning on the mantle of the massive fireplace which lay dormant in the warmth of the day. Enormous tree trunks had been cut and piled high for the evening, filling air with the strong aromas of pine and birch.

      Elbow propped on the mantle, Simon rubbed his eyes wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

      He had lost a wife and child before, childbirth was dangerous business, but it had been a loveless marriage and Michael knew this time was different for his friend. He couldn't quite describe what it was Lily and Simon shared. Obvious to anyone who encountered the couple for any length of time, it went deeper than respect and love. Simon had told him if he was ever blessed enough to find such a woman, he would know.

    All he did know now is where Simon feared for the survival of his lady, Michael feared for his friend should she not.



      The soft rustling of skirts announced the quiet arrival of a kitchen maid. She carried a fresh pitcher of ale and a plate of fresh cheese and bread. Setting them down gently on the table she turned, dropped a light curtsy to Simon, who quietly thanked her with a brief nod of his head, and retreated quietly.

      "Miss Esther what news do you bring? Is the child come?"

    The loud booming sound of a male voice outside brought the men to their feet in an instant. The question went unanswered and was followed by the entrance of the maid that had been attending Lily the past weeks.

      Panting from the exertion of running across the upper bailey, Esther dropped a quick curtsy that went unnoticed as the men stared at her gown which was soiled in dark brown fluid and droplets of blood. Michael glanced at Simon who had visibly paled.

      "My Lord....", the maid looked apprehensive and swallowed hard, "she bids you come."

    Michael unconsciously squeezed the blade in his hand as his brows pinched together, while those of Peter, James and Father Graham rose alarmingly at the unthinkable request.



      Feeling the bottom fall out of his chest at her words, Simon struggled to speak, "Is she..."

    "Nay my Lord," Esther interrupted, reading the fear on his face clearly, "it is.. difficult and she tires. She says..she needs you."

    He searched her face for any unspoken truths. Finding none he turned to Michael unbuckling his sword belt.

    Father Graham stepped forward, his voice ringing with indignation "My Lord, you can not intend to acquiesce to a woman's request and one particularly whilst she lay in a most sinful and unclean state."

    Peter thought he heard a sharp metallic screech and gingerly moved away from the chess table.



      Grabbing Simon's arm as he reached to take the belt, Michael gave a tight squeeze and willed his friend to look at him. Locking eyes, both stood motionless in unspoken conversation.

    "My Lord, by authority given unto me by God, I forbid you from endangering you soul in such a reckless manner. It is improper for men to enter the lying-in chamber, it is sinful and a disgrace." The monk went unregarded yet the small twitch of Simon's left eye made both Peter and James sidestep, creating a wider birth between them and Father Graham.

    Michael held Simon's gaze giving him a look that clearly said "let it go for now". Simon gave him a stiff nod and turned to face the frazzled maid, who had stood nervously wringing her hands in her apron.

    "Take me to her."

    Eager to be gone Esther nearly ran for the door, the massive knight at her heels.

    "Lord Simon, you can not do this! The condition of your soul is at stake!" Father Graham waved a fat fist in the air. "You will be made to answer to God for your disobedience!"

    Peter grimaced at the angry twang of snapping strings and barely had time to scramble out of the way.

    Simon moved with lightning speed and the table and chairs were tossed aside like twigs. Chess pieces scattering in all direction and the monk found himself pinned between the wall and the blind fury of the man who held him there.

    Tightening his grip around Father Grahams throat, Simon snarled through clenched teeth.

    "The condition of my soul lies foremost with the woman who at this hour struggles to give life to my child. Hear me old man, if any ill will should befall her in doing so, my soul is no longer of any consequence and God will answer to ME."

    Father Grahams eyes flew wide but wisely remained silent.

    Abruptly releasing the man with a final look of disdain, Simon spun on his heels, he and Esther quickly disappearing through the massive doors that led to the upper bailey.



    "James, go to the Abbey and bring back a monk to bless the child, this man is forbidden near Simon and his family." Michael spoke to James but stared at the monk, "if he so much as draws within earshot of them...cut out his tongue. "

    Giving Father Graham a look that said he would love nothing more, James left, his quick steps echoing on the wood floor.

    "And you," Michael stepped closer to the monk "if you so much as breathe a whisper in your sleep of what you've heard and should any harm come to Simon due to your carelessness, Archbishop Bourchier will find himself in possession of a rather distressing missive, particularly one informing him of your special fondness for...young men." Father Graham let out a small squeak at the dagger suddenly pressing against the mid section of his robe.

    Michael raised an eyebrow and pushed the blade in further. "I am of the mind to relieve you of the vessel of your temptation myself, unless we are in complete understanding with one another."

      The color drained from Father Graham's horrid stricken face but he managed a tight rapid nodding of his head, like a hinge had come loose in his neck.



    Michael released his hold on the monk, who promptly slid to the floor.

    Ignoring the upturned chairs and table, he pour himself a tankard of ale. Downing the drink in four large gulps he placed the empty vessel on the table with a loud thud and headed for the door. Without pause Peter followed, leaving the mortified monk alone.



~~~~~~~~~~



    Simon felt like he was preparing for battle with an unknown opponent. Swords and battlefields were as much an extension of him as breathing but childbirth? He may as well be walking to war in a foreign country naked and blindfolded.

      He wanted to ask Esther a million different questions as he followed her silent footsteps across the upper bailey. He had helped foal several mares and wondered if the situations would be similar. Of course Lily wasn't in a barn lying in a bed of hay but how much different could it be?

      Instinctively he gauged her body language. She walked slightly hunched but more from fatigue than distress he thought. Small hands swung loosely by her side although he saw they twitched nervousnessly. Her eyes looked tired but they were clear and intently focused, jaw and lips were relaxed.

    She has said it was difficult and Lily was growing tired but surely if anything was truly wrong she would not have come for him. Surely they did not expect him to come watch his wife die. Unless Lily wanted...The unfinished thought made his stomach wrench violently. He lost her once and he couldn't bear to lose her for good, not now. It was impossible to imagine life without hearing her lilting laughter or seeing those soft cheeks turn to apples at her smile. Vividly he brought to mind the soft plump pout of her lips, the delicate angled turn of her jawbone and endless pools of those deep green eyes. Reactively his hand flexed at the memory of her thick auburn locks running through his fingers and recalling the creamy skin under his palms.

    The Holy Book had said "and the two shall become one flesh" and suddenly he realized it wasn't talking about marriage. Marriage was too common and even more so very lonely as he well knew. No the scripture was talking about love, love so complete only God himself could distinguish the two intertwined souls. Somewhere, somehow they had become so interconnected it was no longer possible to discern where Lily ended and he began. Vaguely he wondered if she died would he too suddenly fall over lifeless? He sure as hell hoped so because he certainly couldn't live without her.

    No! Lily was a fighter and had desperately wanted to give him this child, their child. If by sheer stubbornness alone she would take on the fires of hell and spit in the face of death before she surrendered. It was one of the things he loved about her and God how he loved her.



    The small tower housing the castle apartments was a flurry of activity. Several woman of various ages, shapes and sizes scurried about like bees in a hive, most whom gaped in shock at the sudden presence of a man in what otherwise was a woman's sanctum. Several glared at him disapprovingly and others simply ignored him, too intent on their given tasks to either notice or care. Under other circumstances Simon would have felt very out of place. As it was, his thoughts were focused solely on Lily.

    As on queue his name rang out in a desperate cry of agony from behind a closed door down the wide hallway. Fighting against every instinct to run to her he clenched his teeth painfully and balled his hands into white knuckled fists.

    Esther stopped and placed a nervous hand firmly on his arm. "My Lord, I beg you, do whatever she asks without question, without hesitation. She needs your strength right now." Once Simon nodded, she released her grip and opened the door.



      This was definitely not a barn. The room was stiflingly hot and smelled of peat smoke, sweat, spice and something he couldn't quite put place. His entrance was marked by several additional gasps. Obviously no one had truly expected him to come.

    With a trained eye Simon scanned the room in one quick glance. A large cauldron of boiling water hung in the fireplace, thus accounting for the hot, sticky air. Several steaming cloths hung over a metal rack on the hearth, water dripping with little plops on the stone. An odd horseshoe shaped chair sat by the window. Several bottles of wine and oil sat on a table with a basin of water. At the foot of the bed lay a pile of dirty linen covered in the same dark brown fluid he had seen on Esther's apron. The birthing fluid he realized. This accounted for the odd smell. It was different than a mare's but he recalled vividly the gush of warm, dark fluid when the sac burst.

      He didn't see her initially as the bed was surrounded by no less than six women, a bit much by his calculation. Esther grabbed hold of his sleeve and pulled him forward.   

    As he stepped into the room a rotund older woman who had been leaning over his wife turned giving him a deep grunt of disapproval at his presence. Her movement gave him a full view of Lily one that instantly kicked the breath from his chest and drained the blood from his face.

    Her eyes were closed, her face was terribly pale and she was soaked in sweat or water or both, he couldn't tell. A plain simple shift stuck to her wet body accentuating the round bulge of her belly. Only the deep exhaustion settled into her brow and the heaving of her hard breathing assured him she was alive.

    Suddenly she rolled into a ball with another anguished cry, her hands gripping the bed sheets. "Aaahhhh Simon!" she cried.

    He was by her side in two long strides, his shock completely forgotten, the fear pushed down to a numb ache. He took her hand and knelt by the bed. "I am here mon amour, I have come".

    She grimaced in pain, but the tight squeeze of her hand told him she knew.

    With a gentle reassuring squeeze in return he rubbed the back of her fingers with his thumb until the pain abetted. She opened her eyes and gave him a weak smile. "I knew you would come." she said raising a hand gently to his his cheek.

    Worry etched his handsome face and he pressed his own hand to hers, "Lily, what can I do?"

    "Nothing anything a man would know about." The older woman he had seen standing over Lily, who he thought resembled something between a toad and a mushroom with a large drooping brow protruding over plump rolling cheeks, mumbled in disgust. "A man's got no business in the birthing of baerns, never has. It's unclean and immoral."

    Not again, Simon closed his eyes, sighing to control his patience.

    "Oh shut up!" Lily's said giving voice to his own thoughts. He smiled at his wife's vehemence. She stared at him pleading. "Please Will, get them out. I will surely die otherwise."

    Fear erupted in his chest again, like a dragon emerging from it's cave. "I will not let you die." He said fiercely, then took a quick calming breath "I do not believe that is their intention as well."

    "The babe...needs to be turned...I can feel the feet just here." She placed his hand on the left side of her swollen belly, "The head is pressing on the right...just sideways a bit. She won't listen to me."

      Madame Mushroom pushed herself bodily forward, hand on her hips, "Pay her no mind Lord. Most mothers get a little featherheaded after awhile. It's God's way. They pay for their sin but don't remember much after. I have been delivering babies in this castle for twenty years and..."

    "Well you're not delivering this one you stupid old cow!" Lily interrupted angrily.

    Several tendrils of wet hair hung in Lily's face and he reached up to tuck them out of the way, "Shhh mon guerrier rouge, I believe you, but surely you can not expect me to..." a slight blush tinged his ears at the unfinished words.

    Another contraction seized her, his own face contorting at her pain.

    "Esther...Esther knows." she whispered breathlessly after the spasm passed.

      Madame Mushroom gasped audibly and revelation suddenly came to Simon as with those three words the clouds parted allowing the sun to illuminate everything clearly.

    Careening his head over one shoulder he looked suspiciously at the young woman who had come to fetch him. She stood demurely by the door out of the way, by all appearances humbly awaiting her next order. But he didn't mistake the devious little spark in her eye as she met his gaze unflinchingly. "Do whatever she asks, without hesitation." she had said.

    He realized she was older than he initially thought, about Lily's age maybe but perhaps considered too young or unlearned in the methods of midwifery to be considered any help other than to do ones bidding. Or perhaps something different altogether. Lily apparently thought differently or she would not have suggested such, and Esther believed Lily was right about the precarious presentation of the child, something the old woman clearly did not. She also knew, were she to suggest such a notion the idea would have summarily been dismissed and herself mostly likely as well, something she plainly understood would have been to the detriment of both Lily and the child.

    However, should the balance of power be shifted to one of greater authority than the pompous mushroom woman and her loyal followers, they would have no choice but to do as commanded. And Lily, not being of the disposition to give a damn about rules or propriety, would have no issue shifting that power to him.

      Simon pursed his lips to contain the grin at the devious duo's cunning. He'd seen poorer strategic planning on the battlefield.

      He turned his gaze back to Lily who visibly relaxed, thus confirming his summations had been correct. With a slight nod and placing a kiss on her hand he rose from his knees and crossed to Esther. Guiding her to the window he turned his back to the room, effectively obscuring their conversation from prying eyes.

    "Lord, you can not expect such an inexperienced maid to be of assistance to you. She knows nothing of birthing babies whereas I..." Madame Mushroom was cut off by Simon's outstretched hand abruptly thrust behind him.

    "It is obvious you know something of birthing for my wife trusts you. How long have they been like this?" His voice was barely audible.

    "The hard pains came about an hour ago, but she knew after the first push and now refuses to do so for fear of hurting the babe."

    He rubbed a hand across his mouth. "And you're both sure?"

    "Yes My Lord, I have no doubt."

    Lily groaned as another spasm grasped her. Esther laid a supporting hand on Simon's arm as he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.

    "Can you do it, can you turn the child." He said determinedly when Lily quieted once again.

    "Yes My Lord. I have seen this before. Your lady is keenly aware of her child and from her description it should be a matter of a little push and a tug. I am most confident."

    Steeling himself for a different sort of battle Simon released a slow decisive sigh. "Alright, do whatever you need to do to prepare, keep only those here that will be helpful to to you."

      Esther dropped a quick curtsy and crossed to the fireplace where a girl of sixteen or so pulled several clothes from the pot with a long wood poker, hanging them over the rack. Heads together she listened as Esther whispered instructions, her head bobbing in understanding.

    The other women rushed to resume their busy work, tidying bed linens, wiping Lily down with wet cloths, whatever menial tasks they could find. Only Madame Mushroom stood glaring. She traced her stare to Esther and opened her mouth in preparation to bark some order no doubt.

    "Get out! All of you, get out now!" The order came from Simon, his deep reverberant voice making everyone jump in fright.

    Without hesitation each one picked up their skirts and scurried from the room as so many little mice. Only Esther and the girl, who were busy replacing the sweat soaked bed pillows with fresh clean dry ones, remained - and one other. As he expected Madam Mushroom's statuette figure stood unmoving from her her post at the side of the bed.   

    Simon gave her a baleful look, "I said get out." His voice seething through clenched teeth promised immanent danger at her noncompliance. "My Lord, I..."

    "GET OUT!!" His tempered roar stole the words from her lips.

      Pinching her lips tightly the large woman made a tiny curtsy and headed for the door. Only Simon's voice stopped her exit. "And Madam," she did not turn to him but waited, one hand on the door handle, "should anything happen to my wife because of your insolent pride and stupidity be assured my vengeance will be swift and true."

    Without a word the door shut with a quiet click.



    Another pain wracked Lily's tired body and Simon returned to her side.

    Esther placed a cool wet rag in his hands and instructed him to wipe her brow. His wife leaned into his hand and sighed. She reached for him and he took her hand.

    "Will, I am so glad you are here." She said sleepily. He gave her an achingly tender smile.

    The young maid replaced the pitcher on the table and refilled the goblet with fresh water. Reaching over she helped Lily drink.

    "What is your name?" Simon asked

    "Mary, My Lord."

    "My wife and I thank you Mary."

    She patted his shoulder lightly, "Thank me when you're baern is born My Lord."

    "Will."

    He turned back to Lily, "Yes my love."

    "I am so hot..help me out of my shift?"

    Catching Mary's look of shock, Lily laughed, "It's alright Mary I certainly didn't get into my current predicament staying fully clothed and Simon is my husband after all. Will you help him?"

    The maid smiled shyly but grabbed hold of the wet garment, rolling it up over Lily's legs and hips. Gently Simon bent Lily forward and pulled the shift over her head.

    She exhaled loudly with relief, "Much better."

    Hearing Lily's request Esther went to the wide double window and flung them open. A gust of fresh clean air filled the room.

    Simon reached for the cloth that Mary had wrung out for him and carefully proceeded to mop his wife's body. He skimmed down the long slender curves of her neck and shoulders, over her large, full breasts. Browned nipples hardened from their sudden cool nakedness, eagerly awaiting the tiny recipient of their nourishment. He gazed in awe at her large round abdomen noticing it was no longer soft and pliable but was drawn hard and tight like a rock. "It's amazing." he whispered.

    "Yes well the amazing part it about to begin." The shy obedient maid facade having vanished, Esther was now clearly in control of the situation. "May I speak candidly My Lord?"

    Understanding her request he smiled. "I am yours to command Madam."

    Standing over the bed she combed her hand through Lily's hair. "Alright Mistress Lily, we're going to turn your baern. You'll need to lay flat and we'll have to work between pains. I can promise you it will not be comfortable but if the it lies as you say, it should only take a couple of pushes. Do you understand?"

    Lily nodded firmly.

    "Good. Lord Simon can you get her moved to the foot of the bed?" Simon picked up his pregnant burden as if she were a butterfly and positioned her just at the edge of the bed, Mary quickly placing a pillow under Lily's head.

    "Now" Esther said turning to him, "your task is to keep her flat and as comfortable as possible. Talk to her and keep her focused on you. Can you do that?"

    "Yes." He said. Removing his doublet and hanging it over a chair he took up a position on the bed facing Lily, holding her hand in his lap.

    "Mary, if you would be so kind as to stand by her other side, keep hold should you need to." Mary grabbed Lily's other hand comfortingly and gave Simon an encouraging smile.

    With her troops ready, Esther propped her patient's feet wide against the bed frame and took up a commanding position on a stool between Lily's legs, "Now, "she said matter-of-factly, "her pains are approximately four or five minutes apart, the next one should be coming soon."

    As on queue Simon watched in stunned amazement as the round bulge, so prominently displayed at his side, suddenly knotted tightly and Lily howled in pain. Unable to resist, he lay a callused palm ever so lightly on the mound, mesmerized by the sheer force of the of it's contraction. It was a wonder it didn't crush the little occupant within.

    "Alright Lady, just breathe." Esther said as the pain passed. Rubbing oil on her hands she placed one flatly on Lily's abdomen and the other into the warm flesh, fingers gently probing.

    "Yes, I can feel the shoulder and the back of the head. He is laying just as you said." Esther took a deep breath and said, what he thought was a quick prayer under her breath. "Ready?"

    Without waiting for an answer her hand disappeared almost entirely and Lily nearly came off the bed. Mary and Simon held her forcibly down by the shoulders Simon speaking soft and encouragingly. She thrashed her head and her sobbing was nearly his undoing.

      It took several minutes of pushing and prodding then suddenly the huge mound rolled and Lily's scream almost drowned out Esther's cry of triumph.

    She wiped her hand on a clean towel, "You're babe's head is full in the birth canal now Lady. It shouldn't be long now." She shifted her focus to Simon, " I daresay, you've a stubborn one there My Lord, kicked something terrible at that last." She was near giddy with pride and joy.

    He let out the breath he had not realized he was holding, "So...it's ok?"

    "Oh most assuredly. Was rather put upon by being awakened I believe but your baern is very strong, much like it's father I think."

    A deep sense of pride settled on Simon. He rubbed a hand over his wife's forehead and bent to kiss her wet cheek. "How do you fare mon lis de tigre?"

    She turned her face into him, his breath warm on her skin, "I need to sit up."

    "Sit behind her My Lord, let her lean against you. She will draw from your strength." Esther said wiping down the bulging stomach and slick thighs.

    Dropping the rag into an empty basin, which Mary quickly retrieved and took to the boiling pot, Esther pulled the pillow out of the way and help settle Lily in his arms.

    No sooner than she lay her head back she pushed her weight into his chest blindly groping for his hands. He grasped them tightly, soothing her with tender words. Growling between clenched teeth she held her breath. After a moment her body went limp again, her chest heaving.

    "Now what?" Simon asked mopping her brow.

    "Now we wait." Esther replied and settled into a large chair. "It's up to nature now."

    Guiding his hands Lily placed them on her belly. "He knows you're hands. Perhaps he will come at his father's coaxing." Spreading his fingers wide he stroked his rough palms over the soft oiled skin of the taught mound.

    Retrieving a bottle of oil from the table Mary slowly massaged Lily's legs. "Helps to prevent cramping." She answered the questioning look on his face. "Talk to her" Mary mouthed.

    He looked at Lily who seemed to be sleeping. Her breathing was slowing, her long thick lashes fanned out across her cheek. He dropped a light kiss on her forehead. Without opening her eyes she reached up to touch his face softly.

    "Do you remember that night we tried counting all the stars in the constellations?" He asked rubbing his cheek against her hand.

    Her chest vibrated with a muffled, weak laugh, "Yes, you insisted there were six stars in Orion's bow but I said only five counted."

    He smiled at the memory his hand slowly rubbing her hard abdomen, "I don't think we ever did agree on that one. How many do you remember?"

    "Orion has thirteen..."

    "Fourteen." He corrected teasingly.

    "...Thirteen. Taurus has nine, Ursa Major seven..."

    He felt her tense as the next pain gripped her, "Listen to my voice Lily. The Usra Twins each have seven. Cepheus has five...breathe.."

    Esther rose and probed her gently with two fingers. She smiled encouragingly at Simon. "Starting to make progress. Her pains are coming quicker already." Letting Lily's legs relax against the soft mattress she covered them lightly with a linen sheet.



      It went on in this fashion for a time, Lily and Simon counting the constellations, reciting their numbers through her pains, Esther probing Lily every so often, Mary rubbing the tired mother down.

      He felt humbled at the strength of the woman in his arms and the task before her. The more he held her, watched her steel herself against the pain, the more in awe he became. How was it such a remarkable experience was deemed sinful and unclean. His wife lay naked in his lap, wet through with sweat, water and oil, looking more beautiful than ever and he was about to help her bring their baern into the world. She looked anything but sinful and he felt blessed and washed by the wings of angels.

    The continuation of life in all species relied solely on this event and he suddenly realized God had entrusted it to the woman. Even the survival of the beasts of the earth had been entrusted to the female and as far as he knew the ancestors of Summer or Tansy the sheep had committed no great sins at all.

      He knew, spoken allowed, such train of thought would find him hanging from a noose faster than he could say Blessed Mary, but it suddenly seemed like some deep secret had been locked in a hidden tomb hoped never to be discovered.

      That tomb he understood now, was a woman's womb.

    He examined his own current state of humility, searching for the source of such an illogical notion...where, why. Then there it was, the low undercurrent of fear knowing that although man's seed was needed to create life he could never give it. Man only had the power to take it away. Life itself was woman's alone to give and only if she so chooses.

    He knew of the way's women could prevent the implantation of man's seed, Lily herself had used them out of necessity. It was when she wished it did she allow his seed to rest in her womb and the result of her decision was about to take it's first breath as a new life. Of course child begetting could be forced on a woman and all too commonly was, but the keeping of that life still lie her hands.

    Men had written the words of the Bible, men ruled the church and the land and men had learned where the true power lay.

    He knew from years of fighting, in order to defeat your enemy you must strip them of their power and that is exactly what the church had set out to do. Take the power from the women by making them feel shame and convincing them their power was sin itself and you could control them.

    But it wasn't just about blinding the women is was about blinding man as well, convincing him he had the ultimate strength by prohibiting his knowledge of the truth.

    He looked down at Lily with a profound sense of admiration. God in Heaven he suddenly felt so small and inconsequential. For all his physical strength and that over his people and his father's land, it was nothing compared to the incomprehensible power that Lily held with her womb.

      Bending his head, he placed a reverent kiss on her temple, her skin warm and moist against his lips, "I honor you wife, mother and keeper of my soul - le mo anáil dheireanach...agus tar éis". He kissed her again, his lips catching the warm salty tear rolling down her cheek.



    Gradually her spasm drew closer and closer, barely giving her time to catch her breath between. After three quarters of an hour she began to moan and shift uncomfortably. Simon was sweating by now and his shirt was soaked through where Lily lay against him.

    "ESTHER!" Lily suddenly lurched forward, grabbed her knees to her chest and bared down, her face clenched tight with strain.

    "What's wrong!" Simon said in alarm.

      "Your babe comes Lord." Esther lunged from her chair pulling the sheet to the floor. "Blessed be to God, it's about time." She sat on the stool, Mary poured more oil into her hands which she rubbed into Lily's tender flesh. "That's it Lady, push."

      Clenching his teeth, Simon rubbed Lily's back until she collapsed with a thud against his chest.

    "Again Lady."

    As empowered by Esther's command, he felt Lily gird herself with renewed determination. She took three deep breaths and pushed, again and again, stopping only long enough to catch her breath.

      He careened his neck enough to see her delicate flesh stretched to impossible width. Suddenly he saw the curve of a little head covered in dark wet hair and with one loud determined cry from his wife the head abruptly pop out neatly into Esther's hands. The face was turned down but he could see the profile of one soft pudgy little cheek.   

    Lily took a quick breath and with one large push their babe slithered out in a gush of fluid.

      "A son," Esther announced joyfully, "you have a son."

    Mary stepped forward with a warm cloth whereas upon them clearing his nose and mouth the little lord let out an angry cry of protest.

    Lily fell against Simon sobbing with joy and exhaustion, his own tears flowing freely.

      Cutting the thick pulsing birth cord and searing the little end attached to the baby with a small hot iron, Esther placed the babe on Lily's breast affording the new parents the first look at their child.

    The velvety skin was covered in a white film and the dark hair was as soft as a mink's fur under his hand. The squished little face let out several tired cries.

    "Ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, two ears, a nose...he's perfect." Lily sighed with relief.

      Simon rubbed his cheek against her wet temple, kissing lightly, "Like you fy blodau." She turned her head and kissed him soundly.

      Placing a clean hot cloth over Lily's abdomen, Mary began kneading it firmly like bread.

      "One more little push Lady." Esther said as another small spasm caught Lily.

    The afterbirth slid into Esther's awaiting hands and he was astonished at the sheer size of it. The fear that had lay dormant blazed to life as he recalled how Margaret had bled out. "Mistress Esther, did it tear her? Is she bleeding?"

    Passing the afterbirth to Mary the maid looked up at him in surprise. After a brief examination she said thoughtfully, "No My Lord, there is no bright blood. It appears to have come clean. As long as she rests and follows all of my instructions," she gave Lily a stern look that made her smile and nod, "she should be good as new."

    He relaxed audibly and for the moment, let the fear go.

    There was a little tap on the door.

    Mary poked her head out and spoke in quiet excited tones to the person who stood surreptitiously out of line of sight. Simon smiled at the cry of delight upon the announcement of his new son and the door closed on the sound of multiple sets of running feet. A few moments later a loud male voice bellowed in through the open window from the baily below. A ring of cheers followed promptly, bringing the four of them to laugh with pride and relief.



      A brief time later, Lily rest comfortably in a bed of clean dry linen. She and and the baby had been washed and both were snuggled into a mound of pillows.

    Simon, who also was wearing the clean shirt James had sent up at his request, sat relaxed and content on the bed next to his wife and son. Esther quietly tidied the room as not to disturb the new family.

      The soft click of the door turned Simon's' attention as Mary entered with a serving tray piled with food, wine and a pot of tea made to Lily's specification with raspberry leaves, stinging nettle, chamomile and garlic.

      "Are you really going to drink that?" He asked as Mary poured Lily a cup.

      She laughed, "My mother gave it to all newly delivered women, "puts everything back in it's proper working order" she would say."

      He looked at her skeptically, "Yes well then kiss me now, because I doubt I'll want to after." Wrinkling his nose as the strong aroma of garlic wafted by he bowed his head and kissed her quite thoroughly. "Here, I'll take him, you drink your tea."

    With practiced dexterity he gently lifted the tiny bundle from her arms settling it comfortably against his chest. He noticed the bright blush of Mary's cheeks as she handed Lily the cup and smiled.

      Sighing contentedly Lily sipped her tea, inhaling deeply of it's aroma.

    He watched her with an examining eye. Other than her obvious exhaustion she looked healthy enough. Her skin was pink and glowing, her eyes bright and clear, lips plump and full. Perhaps they were both right. With rest and, God forbid more tea, she would be her stubborn, fiesty self in no time.

      "You look tired fy blodau you should rest." He said after a time.

      "I am," she closed her eyes and lay her head back on the pillow, "but not until I feed him."

      Stretching her neck she smiled down at the tiny face sleeping soundly. "He looks like you."

      "And all this time you told me I was handsome." He scowled unable to mask the teasing tone in his voice.

      She laughed,  "You are, heart breakingly so. He'll look different in a few days you'll see. But notice here, there's the slightest hint of your chin," She ran her finger along the feature in question, moving softly up the cheek, "you're sleepy eyes and long lashes. I can almost imagine you looking like this as an infant."

      Esther, who had been wringing out wet towels and cleaning everything down with hot soapy water smiled at this last comment. She picked up a load of dirty linens, and scooted them out the door.

      A light breeze in the last afternoon sun picked up the aromas of roast pork and fresh bread and swirled them teasingly under his nose.

    "Are you hungry?" He said tilting his nose .

      "A bit."

      Whether from the smell of food or the sound of angry rumbling from the belly beneath his ear, or perhaps from his own, the new little lord wiggled out of his deep slumber, his little mouth rooting blindly into Simon's chest and let out a little hoarse squeak.

      "Seems I'm not the only one hungry hm? Sorry wee one, there's aught I can't help you with there. Back to your mum you go."

      Handing the tea cup to Mary, Lily took the protesting infant from his father.

      Baring her breasts the tiny mouth instinctively clamped down on her nipple, one little fist eagerly kneading the soft mound.

      "Just like a little piglet." The corner of Simon's mouth rose in amusement.

Eyes twinkling he lay a big hand on the tiny head softly rubbing with the pad of his thumb.

      Mary moved the table of food closer to him and poured a goblet of wine. "Best to eat my Lord and Lady while the baern nurses before it goes cold. If you need anything, Esther will send for me." Dipping a little curtsy she turned to go.

      "Mistress Mary."

      "Yes My Lord?"

      Simon furrowed his brows seriously, "Thank you"

      Her face lighted in a bright smile, "It was an honor."