Untreated Post traumatic stress disorder

I have been home since 2001. Returning to NYC didn't seem like a big deal, i just thought I was "coming home".
I knew it would take a while to get adjusted to everytthing but i figured hey just get a regular job for now until NYPD called me. The security company i applied for was located on 42 street, times square. I took the train down and was a little bothered by the crowd but no red flags went off. When I got out the train station it had to be around 11am on a weekeday.

Things had changed since I was last down there so when I first stopped and looked around to get my bearing i didn't think much that i felt dizzy. Then i started to walk west and there were literally thousands of people walking in my direction , adjacent to me, behind me.

I looked behind me frequently As i walked people reached into their pockets for weapons that actually turned out to be cigarettes,maps. lighters and cell phones. Making eye contact with every single person passing me not only made my head hurt but it made me too anxious. The sun reflected off a near window ahead of me and I thought i was from a snipers scope so i ducked and recovered before looking too silly but what about the thousands of other windows.

I started scanning the windows, faster and faster and then the faces of people my head was about to explode when the cab driver blew his horn i reached for a weapon that was not there and ducked into a phone booth.
I breathed hard for a few minutes before laughing to myself thinking how silly i was. I called my wife to pick me up. I didnt move from that phone booth until she came an hour later.

Years later. I am divorced. I live alone. I never go out. I excel at work but the party animal never came home. I have cut off relationships with all friends, family and coworkers. but finally im seeking counseling.