I'm Just Looking for Some Hot Dogs!

I'm Just Looking for Some Hot Dogs!

There's this place in Las Vegas called Nathan's that has the best hot dogs. Or so I was told. All I knew was they were seven feet long and cost a dollar. Or something like that. Now I'm known for going on long, ridiculous trips in search of food, and I had the day off of work, so I made the four-hour trip from California to Vegas on a whim in search of these hot dogs. But I made a fatal mistake, and one that I had made before, to boot - I was relying on a MapQuest map to guide me to my hot dogs.

I got on the road and made my way to Las Vegas. The first part of the trip was simple. I had gone back and forth to Vegas a couple of times to fly home to see my family. I didn't even need to look at the directions.

I thought about all the different giant toppings I could put on the giant hot dogs. I passed the Las Vegas Strip and turned onto another expressway. Hmm. I thought this place was on the Strip.

I wondered if they had giant chili dogs, or giant corn dogs. I turned onto another, smaller highway. Maybe this place is a little out of the way.

I thought about how many little packets of ketchup it would take to cover the entire surface of a three-foot hot dog. I got off at an exit and turned right.

I was hoping they served equally big fries and sodas to go along with the big hot dogs, otherwise it wouldn't look right. I made a few more turns. Boy, this place was really well hidden. They must get all their business through word-of-mouth, I thought.

I made one more turn, and found myself in a residential district. At this point I knew something was up. But I still followed my MapQuest map to the very end, just to see where it would take me.

I wound up in some guy's driveway.

The hell with you, MapQuest! You have failed me for the last time! I tore up the map pages and drove off. I stopped at a 7-11 to get some gas, and asked the attendant if he knew where Nathan's was. He had heard of it, and he knew it was on the Strip, but didn't know exactly where.

"Thanks," I said. "I just wanted to make sure it was an actual restaurant, and not some guy selling hot dogs in his driveway." The guy gave me a puzzled look, and I left.

It was already getting dark, and I was cranky, so I drove all the way back home. I never found Nathan's, and I never went to look for it again. One of these days, I'll go back and find it. Maybe when I have a decent map. Because I hear they have these really good hot dogs...