A day in the life of a recovering drug addict. |
Everyday I wake up, with the same shit on my mind. What's on my agenda, how will I get high. My days are getting numbered, from all the things I do. If I would disappear now, would I even leave a clue. I try to get myself straight, easier said then done. All i do is ask God, am I the only one? I know I'm not the smartest guy, and I'm okay with that. But I feel like god took a knife, and stabbed me in the back. I watch the blood fall down my arm, waiting for that rush. Untie my arm just one more time, I can never get enough. How am I to do good, when I can't control myself. I would trade all possessions, for a cleaner bill of health. I always have this haunting, tearing at my thoughts. I can't ever get away from it, I never even fought. I did all this to myself, there is no one else to blame. But at the time it felt so right, not a single ounce of shame. I know I can't go on like this, it's tearing me apart. But why should I even care, I never had a heart. If anyone knew what I had done, my future would be crushed. I wll not stop, there is not a chance. I would rather just give up. |