Irish Rose

Irish Rose

Dearest Adrian,

  I went for a walk in the courtyard earlier today, to catch the last few rays of summer before they die. It was refreshing, to say the least, I have been trapped in this forsaken castle and I had not noticed for how long. On my walk around the gardens, I saw some of the servants’ children playing their child’s games. I observed their game for quite some time, admiring their determined little faces. As I watched, I realized how much I wanted to have children of my own, and of course, with no one other than you. Do promise me one day we can have a family such as this, it would make me incredibly happy.
  It ails my heart to be away from you for so long. I understand there is no other way, but I do wish, with all my heart, my father would swallow his pride. I have tried to talk to him before, but he stands by his opinion that what your father said was wrong and insulting. Of course, I disagree. Your father was only suggesting peace over my father’s constant warfare.
  If only we had met a little while before everything went into chaos we could already be together. My father may be a proud and violent man, but he still respects the ancient tradition of marriage.
  Please be careful if your father sends you into war again. I lose sleep every night between letters worrying if you are in good health. I know you are the best knight your father has so I understand why he sends you, but it still worries me to death.
  Your compliments bring a smile to my heart every time I read your letters. Whenever I am sick, or having a troubled day, I read them repeatedly and remember that one day, we will be together and my heart will be complete again.
  I must conclude this letter here. I will keep trying to persuade my father to make a treaty, but in the meantime, I will be thinking of you.

With Eternal Love,

Annabelle

  Dearest Adrian,

  Autumn is here at last! The cold wind from the sea has been terrible. I cannot even go outside for a breath of air without being chilled. My father restricted me from going out longer than five minutes for the fear that I might get a cold, but do not worry I think I will actually abide by my father’s rules this time.
  Oh, Adrian, please do not go to the battlefield! I know you are a well-trained knight, but I could not live if you were to lose your life. I loathe my father more each day he puts your life in more danger. I am glad that your father is winning the war like you said, but I still wish none of this fighting had to happen at all.
  I tried to talk to my father yesterday about love, but he has hardened from my mother’s death all those years ago. He did tell me that I was at the age I should marry now, but I quickly tried to dismiss the idea. He would want to choose my husband, and there is only one man I want. After my attempt to change the subject he said nothing more so do not fear, my love, I think he has forgotten.
  I must tell you that I blush every time you call me your “little Irish rose”. Every time I see it, I love you even more. I wish the weather would let up so I could go see the rose bushes in the gardens again; they always make me think of you.
I will be anxiously waiting for your reply.

With Eternal Love,

Annabel

  My dear Adrian,

  Oh Adrian, why must fate be so cruel?
  Do you remember how I told you my father mentioned I was at marrying age? Well, he told me this morning that he has found me a husband, Marcus of Scotland! He says that this marriage will ensure Scotland’s loyalty to Ireland, and with Scotland and Ireland’s combined forces, England will lose the war.
  I do not know what to do, Adrian! I do not want to marry any man besides you. Also, I have heard frightful things about how Marcus treats women. My father would not care what happens to me as long as his country is powerful and dominating.
What will England do though, even if I learn to live with this man? My father is correct when he said that England would have no chance against Ireland and Scotland. Your country may be my enemy by default, but I believe your father is a great man and glorious king. I only wish I were born a man so I could rule my country in peace and love instead of this war and hate.
  I know not of what else to say this time except that I love you, and only you, no matter what happens. I am so sorry.

With eternal love,

Annabel

My love,

  Tonight is the wedding. All that crosses my mind is that I am sorry. I know it is not my fault, but I only wish I could do something. It is not as awful as I said it would be before, though. I met Marcus a few days ago and he was a chivalrous man. It is going to be a snow wedding, as I dreamed for us. My gown is a magnificent untainted white, and my father gave me my mother’s embroidered ashen veil. I am truly going to be the snow princess that I wished to be when I was a little girl.   
  Still, I cannot perceive how you keep faith that we will be together after what is going to happen tonight. I am glad that you trust our love, but even I see that in this life, we can never be a couple.
  Then again, I think of how far we have come, and how much my feelings have intensified for you, and I dare to think different. Maybe you could challenge Marcus, like you said; I believe you are the best knight alive. If you did this, I could not live if you lost the match, but I would be overwhelmed with joy if you succeeded.
  Oh, I should not let my dreams wander onto the paper when I am writing to you. I know how spontaneous you can be, and I do not want to give you any more ideas than you already have created.
  Enough of this unrealistic talk, this is the last time I will write to you unmarried. I do not know how we will keep conversing in secret after the marriage, but I am willing to take extra precautions. I know the punishment for loving another man while being married is death, but I would do anything for you. Besides, I do not think I could live without you now. You are just as important to my existence as the air I breathe and the wine I drink. The longer we are apart, the larger the break in my heart becomes; I could not imagine life without your precious few letters.
  I must go to the ceremony now. Again, I am terribly sorry. I will try to imagine Marcus is you tonight. Please just try to smile, and carry on. It has been what I have been doing lately. I hope you do not love me less, but maybe if you did, it would not hurt as much.

With eternal love,

Annabel

  Adrian darling,

  I have been trying to spare you from the extreme agony I have been suffering, but you should know now.
  I was lying when I said Marcus was a nice man. He is a terrible tyrant, and I cannot bear to be near him anymore. That day that I met him before the wedding, he was a “chivalrous man” until we were not around anyone else anymore. We went walking through the gardens covered in pure white snow. We trudged in silence until suddenly he grabbed my face roughly, digging his fingers into either cheek.
  “Listen here, Princess,” he spat out the word like it was an insult, “when you become my wife, you will do what I say, and speak only when I give you permission to.”
  “Marcus-” I tried to speak, but he crushed my cheekbones beneath his fingers.
  “Ah, ah, ah, little princess,” he said shaking his finger at me like I was a child, “You might as well start practicing, and I didn’t give you permission, did I?”
  I did not speak for fear of my life so he took my silence as a yes and let go. I rubbed my cheek painfully and scowled at his back as he walked back into the castle.
  Now that we are married, it has gotten even worse. I will not go into details for the fear that it will hurt you too much, but I will say that he is not afraid to strike me.
  My dear Adrian, I am frightened. I have never been filled with more dread in my entire life. I know telling you these things will only make the pain worse, but I cannot lie to you as I do to everyone else. This marriage is killing me, Adrian, not just my body, but my mind too. The things Marcus does is starting to tear at my mind, and I do not know how much longer I will be able to survive. You told me in your last letter to be strong, and I am trying. It is the only thing keeping me together.
  I must go now. Marcus needs me. I love you, Adrian.

With eternal love,
Annabel

  My dearest,

  My sweet love, how I love you so. Fate was so cruel to us, but you kept us going. I love you with all my heart and I always will. I only wish we were born in a different position, without duties, without war, and without pride. I will cherish every letter, and those few short moments we were together, forever.
  You must wonder why I say these things. Marcus found the letters, all of them. He was going to come for you, but I begged and pleaded until finally he decided to punish me for both of us.
  Many terrible things are going to happen to me, Adrian, and when Marcus is finally satisfied, they are going to burn me. Do not try to come for me; by the time you get this letter, I will already be dead. Do not worry though; I am going to be strong, like you said. When I endure my punishments, I will think only of you, and speak only your name until the fire burns my last breath from me.   
  When I first found out my punishment, I almost died of fright, but I came to terms with it, and it will be okay. I may not be on this planet anymore, but you will, and that is all that matters.
  Please do not be sorrowed. Many years from now, you may find yourself someone else to love like you once loved me, and you can be happy together and she could give you the children I could not. She will not have the duties of a princess, or the courage of a castle servant.
  Somewhere in my heart, I still dared to keep a bit of hope for us, but I have realized I will never have those children that I talked about last summer. I will never be able to hold your hand and walk to the market with you. I will never be able to kiss you goodnight, and know that when I wake up, you will still be there. It is okay though, because one thing I still can do is love you.
  Do not blame yourself; it was not your wrongdoing. We cannot help whom we fall in love with. It was neither Marcus nor my father who tore us apart; it was this war, my love, this terrible meaningless war.
  Marcus came into my dungeon cell not too long ago and told me he loved me, and then left. Even with everything that has happened, and all he has said and done. Somehow, I understood him, and I pitied him.
  You must be aghast at what I just said, but all Marcus did was learn the hard lesson all of us learn: All’s Fair in Love and War.

With eternal love,
Annabel

My lovely Annabel,

  I tried to come help you, but I had to sneak into Scotland and this took too much time. When I finally made it to Edinburgh, I heard your last scream. It tore at my heart as I frantically ran to the execution grounds. By the time I got to you, it was too late. You were dead, and everyone had already cleared out.
  I fell to my knees and dug my hands in the burned soil. For the first time in my life, I cried. Somewhere in my heart, I was hoping my tears would bring you back again, like in the plays I used to watch in the theaters when I was a little boy.
  How could you give up so easily, my love? I admire your determination and kind heart, but my darling I could have done something to save you. When I read your last letter, I could not believe what I read. My fiery Irish rose was giving up before my eyes. Regardless of what you said, I still hate myself. I should not have just sat back and let that man take you away. He broke you, and I did nothing but try to console you.
  When I arose from hating myself, I noticed the air was black. It was raining ashes, your ashes.
  My little Irish rose, indeed you are a rose. You were the most beautiful woman on earth, and held a passion, a fire like no other. You also had the painful princess’s burdens that kept digging into our love, but now, my sweet, you are free.
  Free of all the burdens and the hurt this cruel world placed upon you. Free to love and do as you please. Free to live a life full of happiness and peace, just like you wanted.
  My dear, I know you will never read this letter, but I cannot let that painful one of yours be our last. You told me that I would one day find another woman, and love her as I love you, but this will never happen. I cannot live on earth if you are not here with me. Therefore, if we cannot be together in this life, we will be together in the next.

I will be with you soon,
Adrian