What I Know And What I Don't

Once upon a time
I would have a long message by now

saying how much you love me
and you can't let me walk out,

and all the things about me
you can't learn to live without.
,
But we're so far away from that now.

I know you're trying
when you ask about my day,

You know I'm lying
when I tell you I'm ok.

Both looking around
but there's not much left to do

you turn to me for answers
and I'm looking for them in you.

So many lonely nights,
needless fights,
and there's still no conclusion we've some to,

other than "I still love you".

I know you're flame is burnt out
and I can't hurt you anymore.

You tell me to get out
and cry when I walk through the door.

Are we going to keep going like this until
we can't remember one good memory anymore?

This cold heart isn't like you
and I ask myself
if its because of me?
It has to be.

In the morning I whisper to myself "You have to let him go"

At night I wonder if you think of me
but that's impossible to know,

So I close my eyes,
breath in deep,
and exhale slow.

I let my dreams die tonight
and it feels different than ever before,

I finally accepted you won't ever love me like you have before.

I just had to know for me
that I couldn't have tried anymore.

My last attempt I pushed away my pride
and tried to hold you tighter than I ever had before.

Now I need to let go
of everything I've held onto

what hurts the most is the disintegration

of the friend I had in you,

I'd give anything to separate the two,
so I could just have at least that to hold onto.