The Sentence

I parked my car in front of the dilapidated building. It was a pawn shop on the wrong side of town, and I was there to make a purchase. A bell rang as I opened the door and a disheveled man, someone that would scare me if I met him on the street, said “Help ya?”

“I want to buy a gun,” I said. The words made my stomach churn. I had grown up with guns…my dad was an avid hunter. But when my child was born, I no longer felt comfortable having them around. So for the past twenty years I hadn’t touched one.

“We’ve got lots of ‘em! Whatcha looking for? A .357…a .38…a .22? We’ve got ‘em all.”

“I need something powerful and accurate, something easy to shoot… an automatic. Maybe a 9mm.”

He shuffled into the courtroom, his legs shackled and his hands cuffed. The sight of him made my blood boil. He had taken away the most important thing in my life...my daughter. Her mother had died giving birth and I had dedicated every minute of my life to my little princess. The testimony replayed again and again in my mind. It was all caught on security cameras so there was no doubt about his guilt. My daughter had worked late. He grabbed her from behind as she walked through the deserted parking garage. She screamed and tried to pull away, but he slammed her against a car. She slid to the ground and he was immediately on her. He grabbed her head and hit it hard against the concrete. Ripping off her blouse, he began to fondle her breasts. He pulled up her skirt and ripped off her panties. Pulling his pants down, leaving one leg on, he began to rape my darling daughter. When he was through, he kicked her again and again until she was dead. When the tapes were played for the jury I tried to close my eyes but I couldn’t. I could almost hear her saying, “Daddy, help me.”

“All rise.” The judge entered the room. The jurors were all there, and the verdict was about to be read. The judge asked the question and the jury foreman replied, “Guilty.” My heart jumped. I expected the guilty verdict…everyone did. But it felt good to hear it said aloud. The judge thanked the jury and said sentencing would be tomorrow at 10:00am. They led the beast out of the courtroom and the son of a bitch looked me right in the eye and smiled. “We’ll see who gets the last laugh motherfucker,” I thought to myself.

It was a long night. I couldn’t sleep…surely he’ll be executed …but what if he isn’t? Will I go to his execution if he is? What if he gets a light sentence? I knew the answer before that question made it through my mind. I got up and got out the gun I had purchased. I carefully removed the mag and began to load it. Nine shots…I should be able to hit him at least once.

When I arrived at court there was a line out the door. Someone said that there had been a phone call threatening the judge’s life. They were checking everyone before they entered the court room. I began to sweat. The gun in my waistband dug into my skin. I began to panic as a deputy walked toward me. “You don’t need to go through this. Come with me.” And he led me to a side entrance. “Thanks. I appreciate it.” “God must be with me,” I thought.

I settled into the bench behind the prosecutor. The crowd slowly filtered in. It had been a well publicized trial and there was lots of interest in today’s proceedings. It seemed like an eternity, but things were finally getting under way. We all stood as the judge entered the courtroom. The judge began to read from a prepared statement. “Having been found guilty by a jury of his peers we are here today to pronounce sentence.”

“Burn him,” I thought, “Send his ass to hell where he belongs.”

And then the judge started saying things that my mind couldn’t … wouldn’t, comprehend. “A victim of the environment he grew up in...It would be cruel to sentence him to death.”

I felt my heart being torn from my body as I screamed “NO!” Somehow I found the gun. It felt hot in my hand as I squeezed the trigger. My first shot tore through the shoulder of the defense attorney. I felt bad about ruining his $1000 suit. My next shot hit the table. The prosecutor and others grabbed at my arms. The bailiff pulled his weapon and I shot him in the leg. The animal that murdered my daughter moved toward the judge’s chambers, his chains rattling and slowing his pace. I landed a shot squarely in his back. He fell to the floor. I fired two shots in the air and wrestled away from the mob that surrounded me. I stood above the bastard. “Turn over!” I shouted, as I kicked him in the side. He turned and looked at me. I put my last four shots into his body. As I turned to walk away bullets tore through my flesh. Damn…the pain…the burning ...it was unbearable. I fell to the floor. “Daddy’s coming sweetie…Daddy’s coming.”