A Random Summer Moment

The water was cool against my bare legs but already I could feel them adjusting. Memories of lakeshore swimming came back. “Come on in. The waters fine once you get used to it.” I swished my legs back and forth a bit, sighing. The hot July sun was still high in the sky and a few houses down I could hear the happy screams of young children. A breeze kept haphazard time with the trees and the rustle of leaves relaxed me. A car revved its engine and the tirade of neighborhood dogs rose in response. From the widow next door came an old melancholy country song, quiet as it flowed around and behind all of the other sounds yet did not dare to cover them up. And my legs kept on swishing and the water lapped against my knees. I thought that it was amazing how much you heard when you listened. My thighs were starting to feel the heat of the deck through my shorts but I didn’t mind too much. I snaked my hand through the water and felt myself sigh again. There is something about a sigh, something trivial in that it is a simple action, and something profound in that it releases so much emotion. My hair shines a little golden in the sun and I can see the trace of red highlights that I’d never noticed before. A bird shoots past me grazing my cheek and for a moment I am unsure if it has really happened for its suddenness. I think about who I am, who I want to be, what I need to do to get there. If I should get there. If I should even care. But I do and because of that I guess it doesn’t matter if I should or not. And I think that maybe I’m two people. The one who’s leaning down to lift a leaf out of the water and the one in my head watching myself do it. The one leaning back and the one doing all the thinking. My lips curl into a half smile. Thoughts like these have always amused me but I’ve always been easily amused. An air mattress drifts over and I gently nudge it away. A bug lands on my leg and I stare at it before I register what it is and flick it away.

Maybe I was a beetle in a past life and they are reaching out to me … “Chaaarrrlllaa! We’ve come for you!”

I can just see it… I look up and millions of beetles are marching towards me.

Shaking my head, I lift my legs out of the water. The heat must be getting to me, I think, and I push my sunglasses on top of my head and go inside.