The thin line between love and hate is blurry at best. |
Animosity By Ouija I felt my face flush hot. My heart pounded frantically behind my ribs, working double time to pump adrenaline through my veins. Every fiber of my being seemed to be excruciatingly alert, my fury barely contained. My breathing quickened as I mentally prepared myself for the battle I knew would soon errupt. There was only one thing in this world that could push me to the edge this quickly: Him. I could see his chest heaving as well. No doubt his heart was working just as furiously as my own. Anger seemed to roll off of him in waves. His full lips were set in a grim frown, as they always seemed to be whenever he looked at me. His chocolate-colored eyes smoldered with some unclassifiable emotion as he gazed heatedly into my hazel ones. His jaw clenched and I imagined that I could almost hear his teeth grinding together under the tension. It was always like this when we were forced to occupy the same space. There was always a standoff. There was always a battle of wills. Our arguments were legendary, our intense dislike of one another well known and documented amongst our peers. Call it a clash of personality. Call it a failure to see eye-to-eye. Call it whatever you like but the simple fact is this; like oil and water, we simply did not mix. The intensity of his stare finally broke me and I hated him for it. "What the fuck is your problem?" "My problem?" He smirked and balled his fists at his sides. "You really want to know what my problem is?" He stepped towards me, encroaching on my personal space as he tried to intimidate me with his superior size and strength. I would never give him the satisfaction of seeing my discomfort at his close proximity. Instead, I squared my shoulders and craned my neck back to look up at him. "Yeah, I do." "You." He took another step foward, closing any distance left between us. He looked down upon me with malice burning in his eyes. "You're my fucking problem." I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the absurdity of it all. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything to you." "Oh, yeah?" He gestured toward the locked door, beyond which our mutual friends and coworkers were busy enjoying the festivities of a company party. "What the hell was that out there?" "What are you talking about?" I tried to step away. The heat radiating from his body was suddenly stifling. I needed space to breathe. He caught me easily by my upper arm, dragging me back against him. I twisted in his vice-like grip. "Let me go. I'm serious..." "So am I." Instead of releasing me he tightened his grasp, moving me backwards until my back hit the wall behind me. He leaned toward me, his palms flat on the wall on either side of my head. He had effectively caged me in with his body. "Answer the damn question." I shook my head, trying to look anywhere but at the man before me. "I don't know what it is you're referring to." "I think you know exactly what I'm referring to." He captured my chin in one large hand, forcing me to look him in the eye. "You were out there letting Kevin drool all over you. You were letting him touch you like he owns you. Its fucking disgusting. You think I want to see that kind of shit?" "What you do and do not want to see is irrelevant." I straighted defiantly. "Kevin and I are engaged. He can touch me if he wants. We're getting married..." "Getting married...yeah, right." He snorted. "That's really hillarious, you know that? You really think you're going to marry that pathetic bastard? Think you're going to live happily ever after with your deluded version of Prince Charming?" He shakes his head. "I don't think so. " "I don't care what you think. Its none of your business." I swallowed thickly, trying not to let my uncertainty and discomfort show. "We are getting married." "Right..." The smirk returns to his lips. "Because you're so in love..." "I love him..." I meant it to be a declaration but it came out sounding more like a question. His expression grew serious as he continued to look at me. "Are you sure about that? You think you can find happiness with someone who doesn't even really know you? Someone who doesn't have the slightest clue what it is that you want? Someone who couldn't give a fuck less what you really need?" My bottom lip began to quiver and I could feel the moisture filling my eyes. I suddenly knew where this was going. I knew it without a doubt and it both terrified and angered me. Tension hung thick in the air as the confrontation drew closer to its now inevitable conclusion. We both knew it. We could both feel it. We were like two out of control trains barreling toward one another at top speed. The collision was imminent. I had never felt such animosity toward another human being in my entire life as I did at that very moment. A single tear trailed its way down my face as I looked up at him. "I hate you, Cooper. I fucking hate you..." "Do you, Gracie?" I could feel more than hear the low rumble of his chuckle deep in his chest as he bowed his head and nipped roughly at my neck with his teeth. "Stop it...don't..." I closed my eyes as I tried to block out the feeling of his warm breath teasing the skin of my throat and the feel of his even warmer lips as they trailed their way along my jawline. I pressed my hands against his chest to try to push him away but it was like trying to move a mountain, he wouldn't budge in the slightest. Our lips met then, in a clash of teeth and tongues that stole my breath and caused heat to pool deep in my belly as desire washed over me. No longer in control of myself, I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer as his hands spanned my waist and his thumbs began to rub slow, sensual circles at my hips through the thin material of the skirt I had chosen to wear. This was never supposed to happen but it did. Every. Single. Time. In these moments I truly did hate him. I loved him. I loathed him. I needed him. I despised him. I wanted him to disappear forever. I never wanted him to leave. I wanted him to yell at me. I wanted him to touch me. More than anything else, I wanted to remember why I hated him so much in the first place. In the end, that's what it always came back to: Hate. I hated the way he could make me feel this way, this stongly, this quickly. I hated the conflict he ignited within me. I hated the fact that Kevin didn't even enter into my mind in these moments. I hated my lack of guilt after all was said and done. I hated that I knew, despite my best efforts and intentions, I would find myself here again the next time. I didn't want anymore but it seemed that I couldn't get enough either. Unable to control it, I moaned wantonly into the kiss. "Damn you..." He wasted no time as he lifted me up against him, holding me hostage between his body and the sturdy wall at my back. His hips fit neatly within the cradle of my thighs, as if he were always meant to be there. I could feel the evidence of his own arousal through his neatly pressed dress slacks. I tightened my legs around his waist, trying to draw him closer to where I wanted him to be and mentally cursing the clothing that separated us. He ground himself against me teasingly and my breath caught in my throat. I could feel him grin against my lips and I knew he realized that he'd won this round and that I was out for the count. He pulled back slightly, his forehead rested against my own, his eyes looked directly into mine. "Tell me you want me, Grace." "Cooper..." His name came out as a breathless whisper. I felt like I would spontaneously combust at any moment. I knew that he knew I was on fire for him and I absolutely abhorred him for it...for causing this unrelenting ache inside of me, for making me want him this way when all I really wanted to do was despise him. "Tell me..." He kissed my neck as his hands wandered beneath my shirt to cup my breasts, kneading them through my black lace bra. He ground against me once more, pulling a ragged moan from my throat. "I want to hear you say it." "I..." I took in a ragged breath as his talented mouth found that special spot just below my ear and sucked gently on the flesh there. "I want you..." "Do you want me to make love to you?" His thumbs skimmed over the peaks of my breasts, causing me to shudder. "Do you want to feel me inside of you?" I should have cursed him for asking me these questions. I should have smacked that smug look off his handsome face. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and answered through clenched teeth as he rolled one of my nipples between his thumb and forefinger causing my stomach to clench in in pleasure. "Yesss..." I expected him to laugh. I expected him to gloat about this unnatural power that he had over me. I expected him to mock me for my weakness as he had done so often in the past. I waited for it but he didn't do any of these things. Instead, his nimble fingers were busy loosening the buttons of my blouse and fussing with the front clasp of my bra as he whispered heated words into my ear, letting me know in no uncertain terms that he wanted me as well. I realized, with both trepidation and relief, that he didn't intend to deny or belittle me. This time, something was different. His whole demeanor was off; unexpected. It wasn't right. I opened my mouth to speak, to demand just who he thought he was to deprive me of the reassuring cruelty I'd come to expect from him; the fuel for the hatred that allowed me to keep my emotional distance from him and preserve my own existence. I was silenced before I even began to speak as his mouth latched onto one taught nipple, his tongue teasing the tip and causing white-hot sparks of ecstacy to dance across my skin. Demands forgotten, my hands tangled in his unruly, black hair and I arched into him, silently begging for more. "This is what you need, isn't it, Gracie?" He mumbled the words against my skin as he moved to my other breast. "I know you need this...you need me." I refused to acknowledge him. I refused to give validation to what he was implying. I needed many things but I would never admit to needing this man. I would never admit that I was addicted to the way he made my blood boil and my temper flare. I would never admit that our arguments aroused me more than any sweetly whispered words ever could. I would never admit to him that the fine line between love and hate had blurred long ago and that I was no longer sure on which side I stood. Instead, I gave in to the physical sensations that were causing havoc in my body and mind. His hands roamed up my legs where they were still wrapped around him. His fingers trailed lightly leaving goosebumps in their wake as they moved beneath my skirt and around to squeeze my ass before slowly departing the way they came. I couldn't control the way I moved restlessly against him. My panties had become damp and they clung to me causing a delicious friction as I shifted myself against him but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. The feel of him hidden away behind the barrier of his pants was almost maddening. I detested that I wanted, no, needed this...him so much. He pulled away suddenly, untangling my legs from around himself and setting me back down on the floor. I almost screamed at him in a rage for working me up into such a state and then attempting to walk away. My rant died on my tongue, however, when I saw his fingers working at his belt, unfastening the button on his pants and easing down the zipper, leaving them hanging low on his hips as he moved back to me, trapping me once more between his body and the wall. "You drive me fucking crazy, Grace. Do you know that?" He took my hand and slipped it inside his boxers. His hard, thick shaft pulsed against my hand as I wrapped my fingers around him, squeezing lightly. He groaned, his hips jerking slightly as he pushed against my palm. "Do you see what you do to me?" His words and actions encouraged me, gave me back some of the control I felt I had lost and I began to stroke him slowly, loving the way his breathing hitched and the way he bucked his hips gently in rhythm to my minstrations. "You like this?" "You know I do." He lifted his head to look at me, his brown eyes were full of lust and longing and perhaps something else that I didn't want to think about. One of his hands worked its way inbetween our bodies to the appex of my thighs. His hand slipped under my skirt and beneath the scant panties I wore to brush against my neatly trimmed curls. "What about you, Grace? Are you wet for me?" I shivered at his words. What little control I had gotten back evaporated instantly at his soft touch. I stretched my legs, nearly standing on tiptoe in an attempt to get him to touch me where I needed it so desperately. "Cooper, please..." "Please, what?" His fingers continued to tease, stopping just short of where I wanted them to go. "Tell me what you want, Gracie." "Please...I want..." I tried to take a deep steadying breath. "I want you to...to touch me..." "Like this?" His fingers ghosted over my slit, lightly brushing against the small, throbbing bundle of nerves hidden there and he groaned. "God, Grace...you're soaked." "Mmm..." I fisted his shirt as I tried desperately to rock against his hand but he wouldn't allow it. His teasing was driving me crazy. I hated it. I loved it. I hissed his name. "Cooper..." "Or maybe like this?" Without warning, he shoved my panities down my hips with one hand and thrust two of his fingers on the other deep inside me. His mouth crashed against my own to swallow my surprised sob before anyone on the other side of the door could hear it. As his fingers pushed lazily in and out of me, his thumb continued to rub slow circles against my clit. The dual stimulation, coupled with his skilled tongue exploring the inner recesses of my mouth, was nearly enough to drive me insane with pleasure. I tried to move my hips faster, to take his fingers deeper. This was torture...pure, wonderful torture. How could he possibly know my body...me so well? How was it he knew exactly how to touch me? How did he always know exactly what to say to make me want him? Did he even realize how violently I reacted to his very presence? It was wrong. He was wrong. He was the bane of my entire existence and yet I still couldn't get my fill of him. My resolve to scorn him always seemed to evaporate whenever he got close to me. It wasn't fair. He was breathing harder now, his entire body tense as he continued to pleasure me with his hand. "You're so hot, Grace...so tight. I want to feel you on my cock. Is that what you want? Do you want me to fuck you?" My mind swam, barely able to comprehend what he was saying over the pleasure coiling itself tightly in my belly. All I could manage was a weak nod of my head and a barely audible "Yes." "Say it, Gracie..." He pulled his fingers from me and I whined in protest. He silenced me with a mind-searing kiss. "Say it..." "I want you..." My eyes fluttered as I struggled to speak. "I want you to fuck me." He growled as he seized me about the waist, lifting me so that my legs were once again able to wrap around his waist. I could feel his thick tip pressing against my opening. I wriggled against him, trying to draw him in, begging him with my whimpers and stuttering breath to fill me, to make me cum. I hated that he could reduce me to this wanton state. I hated that I truly did need what only he could give me. I hated that at that very moment, I had forgotten to hate him. I wanted to cry out in joy when he finally pushed into me after what seemed like ages of making me wait. He stretched me almost to the point of pain but it was a delicious feeling, a feeling of utter bliss, of perfection...of two bodies meant to fit together. It was a feeling I'd tried so hard to find with others. I had been trying so hard with Kevin. I'd tried with others before him but no one, only Cooper, my nemesis, could rouse these feelings in me. When he began to thrust it was like I had found Heaven, like I was exactly where I belonged. I was hopelessly lost. Between the feel of his body against mine, his flesh moving within me and the intimate terms of endearment he whispered into my ear, I was gone. I was gone and I never wanted to come back. I wanted to stay here forever. I wanted to stay in this moment. I wanted to stay with him. It was wrong and I detested it but it was what I needed. No one else understood that...no one but Cooper. I could feel my climax approaching quickly. I wanted desperately to hold it off. I wanted to enjoy this feeling of euphoria a while longer but the sensations building with in me were too strong to ingnore. It was inevitable. My grip on his shoulders tightened, my body tensed. "Please...don't stop..." "Never, Gracie..." His voice was low and husky, his breathing strained as he worked to keep himself under control. "Cum for me, baby..." His simple command was all it took to push me over the edge. The tension that had built of within me broke suddenly. I bit my bottom lip until it bled in an attempt to hold in the cry of pleasure that longed to escape. I moaned and arched against him as my entire body shook with the intensity of my release. I could feel him still moving within me, encouraging my orgasm to its fullest potential. It was becoming too much even for him to endure as my walls continued to clamp down on him. The movement of his hips became more erratic as I began to come down from my high and he strove to reach his. His ragged breathing became more pronounced and I could feel the toned muscles of his stomach tighten. "Fuck, Grace...I'm gonna cum..." I felt him swell within me as he gave one final thrust, burying himself to the hilt and emptying himself inside me. A feeling of warmth spread throughout me then. It was a feeling of being complete. It was the type of feeling one should have after making passionate love to that one special person. It was not the type of feeling one should be having after fucking their arch rival in a darkened office at a holiday party. It was not something I should be feeling for Cooper as I was most certain he felt nothing similar for me. The bitter reality of the situation and the staggering dynamics of our relationship came flooding back to me. This whole thing was a farce, a battle in which there could never truly be a victor. I was fraternizing with the enemy. I couldn't allow myself to get lost in this illusion of a truce that he offered. That would be admitting defeat and the peace would never last. I would not surrender, no matter how attractive the treaty may have been. I waited until my breathing had calmed enough that I trusted myself to speak. My voice still came out sounding small and uncertain. "Cooper?" "Hmm?" He lifted his head from the crook of my shoulder. Brushing away a few strands of hair that had fallen into my eyes, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "What is it, love?" I hesitated, but only for a moment. It had to be said so that both of us understood. "I hate you." He sighed heavily and his broad shoulders slumped ever so slightly. I thought I may have caught the slightest glimpse of disappointment in his eyes but it was quickly blinked away as he frowned down at me. "I know." The End |