the merry go cruel of life

Must every word that comes out of your mouth be a lie
Must every good thing i ever thought of you be only in my blindness
Must everything i ever thought i loved be false
.......if only it were that easy
Must it pain me to say goodbye
Must i imagine myself kissing you everyday just to sooth me to sleep
Must i live everyday knowing that instead of with me you are with someone else
....i suppose i must because i love you
are we under some false pretenses here ...i think we are
am i so blind that everyone can see what my rose colored glasses must have forgotten ..........
Must love,honesty and trust be things only people from earlier generations know
BUT you know whats funny is I stopped believing in love long ago
Because everywhere i look love turns to dust just like our lives if we make nothing out of ourselves our lies ...our truths .... our legacies ....turn to dust ........ so why must we try
we try for things we cannot even SEE like GOD and goodness and truth and LOVE ............
i suppose thats good enough ........... i surely hope it is because if its not ...........well lets just say i wont be a happy camper
some wise dumb person said that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all .....well personally ive been on both sides of the stick and it sucks either way so i don't know what to say when people say i should just let go maybe i should BUT maybe if i hold out theres a better prize in store for me i dont know
should i be closed off ??.....not wanting to love ...... i dont think so because 'im open ....to most things and i pretty sure (not 100 %) on life like love, kids, marriage , divorce,getting old ,and death alll part of this merry go cruel of life
Must i sit and wait for it ..no im going at it head on ...which seems to be my problem most days
but for now i lie in waiting,wanting and wondering
Good night world
-August