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 |   You never know what you'll find - humor, ramblings, rants, randomness- it's all me! |
This description part is challenging. I never know what I will blog about until I start typing. I do know there will be typos. I don't reread or correct my blog. Otherwise it turns technical instead of my feelings and thoughts. Trust me, on stories and poems I'm a grammaraholic, but this is freedom. Sometimes to keep it from getting too personal, I even turn my head away while I type. Weird, right?. I hope you find this somewhat entertaining, thought-provoking, and humorous.   A little about me. The most important things in my life are family, especially my son, Reese, and my husband, Bruce, my walk with God, and making a positive impact in some way. I am a teacher, currently teaching 6th grade Language Arts. While at times my job can be trying, overall, it is one of the most rewarding passions in my life.   This is my wonderful son, Reese. He is now 20 and and a junior at Oklahoma State University. I may be partial, but he is an exceptional kid with the best heart I've ever known. He makes me laugh, think, and want to be a better person. We are both huge Oklahoma State Cowboy fans - Gooooooo Pokes!  This is Reese's dog, Betty. She shares a name with my mother. Reese named her that because she was beautiful and kind just like his Nanny (my mom). I'm not sure my mom is quite convinced it is a compliment though. Betty is a huge part of our family. She even had her own blog for awhile. Poke around at your leisure and shake your head at some of things that go through mine. I always return reviews/comments, though admittedly, sometimes it does take me awhile depending on what life is serving me at that point. Keeping the faith, Audra  |
| I realized this morning (while walking) that days and walks have something in common. Some times they are easy and other times they are incredibly difficult even when you are taking the same path. Granted, some times it is clear why that is - maybe you didn't sleep well or have a cold....maybe you had a great cup of coffee to start your morning. But as I walked, I realized that sometimes it just is what it is. I do believe mindset has an effect on our perception and mood, but admittedly some days for no apparent reason it is challenging to convince yourself of that. I'm not referring to those days when your car breaks down, you lose your phone, mess up at work, and realize your shirt has been backward all day long. Honestly, I think on those kind of days we should all get a 'recess from adulthood' coupon. I'm talking about the days that are similar but feel so different for no noticeable reason. Walks are like that too. I don't vary my routine much on my walks, but sometimes I literally almost have to give myself a pep talk with each step. But, then there are days like today when I feel like I could walk forever. I probably really should have thought this out better before I started writing. Well, I kind of did on my walk, but now sitting in Bruce's chair it doesn't seem like the revelation it did walking up and down the road. I mean my mind still gets it. Walking and days are similar. Some feel glorious and others arduous even when you are on the same path. Dang it, this sounded so much clearer and interesting in my head on my 'easy' walk. Well, I will leave you with a confession that may make you smile at the absurdity of the things I do unwittingly. I think I'm like most women (maybe not) in the fact that when I get home the first thing I want to take off is my bra (because I've already taken off my shoes in the car). Well, last week I pulled that bra off, but I didn't feel that instant gratification of freedom.....BECAUSE in my half asleep dressing that morning I had put on two bras and never even realized it! Who does that? Well, obviously me. |
| I am thankful for being given the freedom to write this post. First, here are a few things you need to know about me. 1. I am a rule follower...to a point it causes me to be anxious when the rules are 'bent' which probably annoys those around me a little. 2. I am a Christian. 3. I am a teacher in Oklahoma. 4. I thought about this extensively before writing it. These are my thoughts on teaching religion in the classroom which is to be implemented in Oklahoma. 1. For me to become a teacher in Oklahoma, I have to take (and pay for) tests to be considered highly qualified to teach the subject area. I have no certification in religion. Therefore, in the eyes of Oklahoma, I am not qualified to teach religion. 2. I teach mainly reading and writing. There are about fifty standards (things I am supposed to teach and have students master). It is nearly impossible to get them all in as it is. Which ones should I not teach to fit religion in? 3. Some families will pull their kids out of schools which is their right. There are great homeschool programs....and there are instances when homeschooling is overwhelming for parents. For me, I know homeschooling would never had worked for my son. This can cause gaps in their education. 4. There is no clear cut plan of how or what we should teach. If we fail to plan, we are planning to fail. Saying it is for 'historical' purposes....hmmmm, don't other religions have historical relevance? I will pray for the state of education in Oklahoma, but I will do it in the privacy of my own home. |
| Read at your own risk! A couple of people have politely asked me why I drive my gator down to where I walk instead of walking there. It's a fair question. The answer is two part. 1. Despite growing up in the country and then marrying someone who lives in the country, I am not a squat and pee girl. I simply don't have the coordination or the bravery to do it. I can just imagine a wasp or, God forbid, a snake biting my 'business'. Not only would that really hurt, I don't want to ruin a doctor's day by having to examine that. 2. I have Teacher Bladder. Google it (or simply believe me), it's a real thing. The first time I went to a urologist (for kidney stones), he asked me if I was a teacher, nurse, or mail carrier (which I now think is my dream job). Seeing my confused look, he explained my bladder was not in good shape which usually happens when we hold our urine instead of going when nature calls. Easier said than done when you are a teacher. For one reason, who ever designs schools thinks we only need one bathroom for teachers. Wrong! There all a lot of us - teachers, administrators, para-professionals, volunteers, janitors, etc. For one bathroom! And, a lot of time we are on break at the same times. Honestly, it feels like a foot race against your coworkers. We are torn between being nice and tripping them. And God forbid a little unknowing child uses our bathroom! I'm afraid he will be secretly shunned by normally reasonable teachers. Well-meaning people have suggested usually the students' bathrooms since they have multiple stalls. These people have never seen the shocked look on a student's face when you come out of stall. The fact that teachers pee is disturbing! Also, I teach preteens, and no amount of bath and body can make them smell lovely. So their bathrooms smell like lavender, sweat, funk, and yuck. (Don't even ask about the boys' restroom). You can't leave the darlings alone while you run to the bathroom, because in a matter of two minutes, best friends will be fighting, some one will bite some else as an experiment, and the office will have called four times. So, if you ever are in charge of designing a school, GIVE US MORE BATHROOMS! Teachers' bladders matter too! In short, I'm extremely thankful for Bruce's gator so when nature calls, I can make it to my own personal bathroom. |
| Yesterday, I received the best gift....acceptance. I didn't ask for it and I had no idea I would receive it..nor did I understand how completely I needed it. We were walking into a restaurant, and it was that awkward moment when you start to go in at the same time someone is coming out. A man with downs syndrome and I were face to face. I smiled and started to apologize for nearly running him over; and this wonderful young man gave me one of the best hugs I've ever had. His mother said, "You just made his day. He loves hugs." I told her it made my day! That hug has stayed with me...I just keep thinking about it, and at first, I couldn't figure out why. So my analytical mind kept going over and over it. I realized during my morning walk, it wasn't the hug itself, it was his blind acceptance of me and him knowing what brings him joy. This isn't to say we should all go around hugging strangers. But what if we accepted the good in others and felt joy in their gifts? Is it because we live in a world where the negative gains more attention? I don't know the answers. I know me personally I hang on to hurtful words way too long...I allow them to bring me down. I actively work to change that mindset. All this is just to say, why judge people and situations on perceived wrongs or mistakes? Why let the negative blind us to the good, to their gifts? How much better would we all be if we publicized the happiness and goodness around us? I hope you receive a hug of acceptance today, and I hope it inspires you to pass it on. |
| Yesterday, I received the best gift....acceptance. I didn't ask for it and I had no idea I would receive it..nor did I understand how completely I needed it. We were walking into a restaurant, and it was that awkward moment when you start to go in at the same time someone is coming out. A man with downs syndrome and I were face to face. I smiled and started to apologize for nearly running him over; and this wonderful young man gave me one of the best hugs I've ever had. His mother said, "You just made his day. He loves hugs." I told her it made my day! That hug has stayed with me...I just keep thinking about it, and at first, I couldn't figure out why. So my analytical mind kept going over and over it. I realized during my morning walk, it wasn't the hug itself, it was his blind acceptance of me and him knowing what brings him joy. This isn't to say we should all go around hugging strangers. But what if we accepted the good in others and felt joy in their gifts? Is it because we live in a world where the negative gains more attention? I don't know the answers. I know me personally I hang on to hurtful words way too long...I allow them to bring me down. I actively work to change that mindset. All this is just to say, why judge people and situations on perceived wrongs or mistakes? Why let the negative blind us to the good, to their gifts? How much better would we all be if we publicized the happiness and goodness around us? I hope you receive a hug of acceptance today, and I hope it inspires you to pass it on. |
| Yesterday was my 7th wedding anniversary married to my wonderful husband, Bruce...which also means I have lived in the country now for 7 years. I will preface this ...I AM NOT THE OUTDOORSY, ANNIE OAKLEY TYPE! But, being a good sport and devoted to this union, I have done more than I ever thought I could. I have checked my husband's back for ticks (It is not just a country song, ya'll), a horse made me fly like SuperGirl - but land like a ton of bricks, I've missed appointments because a tree blocked the only road available - you know country stuff. But, the snakes have left me alone ....until now! My neighbors have seen a bazillion, Bruce has seen a couple, and my son has come across a few - but not me! I figured God just knew it wasn't something I could deal with, and I was okay with having this weakness. Let's be honest, I welcomed it. But now, the good times are over. The first was a few days ago. I was out checking on my flowers (see, I am making the effort to go outside...a little) and Bruce's dog wouldn't stop barking, but she does love to bark. When I went in, I told B to make his dog hush. He went outside and quickly came back in.... to get a gun. It was a mother bleepin' rattlesnake about 2 feet from where I had been. It was a 9 button which I am not entirely sure what that means and I'm fine with that - I do know it has to do with the rattle. This beast was about 4 feet long. I told my flowers that I was sorry, but it looked like they weren't getting watered anymore. I do get joy from them; however, I have also enjoyed not having heart failure. Well, you know how stupid we humans are. We forget the fear and justify going ahead and doing what we want. I did figure since I had gone 7 years without an asp encounter, I was good for at least this season. I crack myself up in a disgusted sort of way. See, I've been trying to get healthier. I've been walking up and down this 'hill' dirt road/drive we share with the neighbor. I've worked up to about 5 miles a day up and down, up and down, etc. Not like I'm trying to be Bruce Jenner ... wait - he's not even trying to be Bruce Jenner anymore. Bad analogy. Anyway, I've been consistent and adding a little at a time. Tonight, as I 'm walking up the hill jamming to my Spotify, I am one step from the cattle guard when this shiny lime green serpent slithers up to taunt me. Keep in mind, if I don't eventually step over this cattle guard, I have to literally live on the dirt road because my home is on the other side of it. The dirt road does not have working plumbing. As of today, my house does. I call Bruce (my husband, not Jenner) to shoot the mf and tell it to leave me alone. His damn dogs walk with me, and they didn't even bark this time. How does a ditsy blonde with bad hearing and worse eyesight notice it before farm dogs?! So, I walked away from the cattleguard - well, I 'm still trying to get my steps in - even though I'm sure my heartbeat had made it to an extremely high rate. And to be honest, I also wanted far away from the apparently potentially poisonous cattle guard. Bruce comes down on his gator and sees nothing. He does offer me a ride home, but all the sudden that felt like giving in to the green nemesis. It was as if Eve (ya know, from the Bible) was talking to me. "Don't do it, Audra. Giving in to the serpent does not end well." You would think that would motivate me which it eventually did, but first it pissed me the hell off. Because of that first sly snake encounter women have to deal with having periods and childbirth; plus, men look at us like we have lost our minds at certain times of the month and all I can think of to say is "Is you ate the damn fruit too. Putting up with women is your punishment". So Bruce drives home with the dogs, and I pretending to be Annie Oakley, Laura Ingalls, Wonder Woman, and Speed Racer all in one, face off with the cattle guard and the hill the snake must have escaped on. If you are thinking that I should carry a gun, well, I tore my ACL on a dryer sheet so the risks definitely are too great with this one. Plus, it's a hill....with rocks...red ant hills.....and obviously a snake! I prayed. I may have put a curse on the snake - who can say for sure - I was delirious with fear, exercise, and adrenaline. Obviously, I made it ... which seems anticlimactic, but it makes me happy. I got a mosquito bite if that makes it more interesting. Surviving the Outdoors Once More, Branson |
| I realize making a New Year's Resolution usually takes place at the start of a, well, new year, but as with many things I'm running behind. But this morning, it came to me. I would give up cursing! Yet, even I knew there was no way I could go cold turkey. It's not like I'm potty mouth of the year or cuss like a truck driver. Where did that saying even come from? I mean why truck drivers? There is no one even with them for them to hear them curse or know if they let a little d-word or f-word slip. I'm sorry, truck drivers, for the stereotype. Or was it sailors? Why would sailors cuss more than, say, nurses? Hmmm....We may have to do some research. Back to the point (possibly), I decided to give up a curse word a week....you know, just to be realistic. Anyway, like I said, it's not like it is a chronic condition with me, but I am a teacher - so I have a fear of dropping a stapler on my foot and letting a damn or shit slip out. (The word, not the actual fecal matter - though at times I have been scared of that slipping out, too.) I decided to give up 'fuck' and all forms of the word. Boy, was that fucking stupid! I didn't even make it to 7 fucking o'clock. I don't remember exactly how I used it, but it was followed by "Well, fuck! I just broke my fucking resolution." It is clear I don't do well with failure. I realized I had to change my mindset, because there must be some relationship going on between my thoughts and my vocal cords. (Even though, my vocal chords are quite great at filtering my thoughts during school hours....my eyes, not so much,) Things like this: Mrs. Branson, I couldn't do my assignment that you gave us a month to do, because I had the first wrestling practice yesterday. My brain says: Are you fucking kidding me? My voice says: Do you think your coach will think that's a valid excuse when I call him? or Someone is writing on the board and a girl says, "Why is it so small?" Someone replies, "That's what she said." My brain says: Who the fuck said that? My voice says: You are in 6th grade; you need to wait until you're a little older to be that inappropriate. So anyway, it was a fuck of a day. I tried not to give a fuck, but I'm human...I do still have a heart, withered though it may be. Here is the best thing I learned though! It's educational, so get ready to learn something. I'm an English teacher so I really like words and forms of them...pretty much everything about them. When I was trying to decide why I failed my resolution so quickly, I realized it is because the word 'fuck' is amazingly impressive. It is one of those words that can be almost any part of speech. Verb - Have you fucked yet? Noun - I don't give a fuck; why should you? Adjective - He is so fucking cute! Interjection - FUCK! I broke my resolution! Adverb - He fucking screamed so loud when he stubbed his toe. Pronoun - That fuck over there took my parking spot. Conjunction - I'm so tired; fuck, I could sleep all week. 7 out of 8 parts of speech! That's fucking awesome. I don't think it can technically be a preposition, but what the fuck do I know? You have to admire a word that is so versatile, yet also frowned upon in certain social settings. I mean I am still going to try to eliminate it from my vocabulary, but it's versatility will always fucking impress me. If this offended you, I am truly sorry. BUT on the other hand, you didn't have to keep fucking reading. Peace, Audra |
| Well, I wrote a whole blog entry on things I didn't want to write about, but it disappeared. I guess I will call it divine intervention so you didn't have to see my negative feelings. I wrote, that should count for something. Gratitudes: 1. New coffee pot 2. Slow cookers 3. Picking up embroidery again 4. Watching a Lifetime movie for the first time in years. |
| I will probably second guess myself and delete this post, but I have to write it because it is eating me up inside. I just saw a post that April 2nd is bring your kid to work day. Maybe we need a bring your parent or even a politician to school day. That plan needs some work though, because when I have all students in attendance I'm short a chair. There is very little room to move around as it is with 30 in a class. I'm not sure where we would fit everyone, but I do wish they could experience a day at school with overcrowding and underfunding. I love my school. I love my kids, and I love the community. I value the support I receive from all of these. That being said, until you live it you can't realize how different education is from when we went to school. I'm not talking about technology or educational standards. I'm referring to being a priority. How was it even ever okay to cut funding for education? Were we over valuing our children...their futures...our state's future? Who in their right mind said 'You know we are really putting too high of a price on kids'? Or were they smart? Maybe they realized teachers and administrators love what they do so much they would take up the slack. Because we do. We have fundraisers in communities where the majority of the kids qualify for free and reduced lunches. The money for these fundraisers go for things our kids should not have to ask for. Chairs, supplies, electives, field trips! I have spent over $100 since January on pencils. Yes, pencils! Why? Because my kids need them. Teachers do this all the time, because it's the right thing to do. I'm not saying I'm not thankful for a raise, because I am. Teachers deserve it. But please hear these words....OUR KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE A CUTBACK. Give them what they need to flourish. Invest in them! Value them! Respect them! Oklahoma students should know they are a top priority. They deserve proper funding. Let them have the opportunity to experience putting on a drama play or having a reasonable class size. Provide for them what our generation got to experience! Your kids are worth so much more. Teachers see it. My heart aches that not everybody does. |
| I will probably second guess myself and delete this post, but I have to write it because it is eating me up inside. I just saw a post that April 2nd is bring your kid to work day. Maybe we need a bring your parent or even a politician to school day. That plan needs some work though, because when I have all students in attendance I'm short a chair. There is very little room to move around as it is with 30 in a class. I'm not sure where we would fit everyone, but I do wish they could experience a day at school with overcrowding and underfunding. I love my school. I love my kids, and I love the community. I value the support I receive from all of these. That being said, until you live it you can't realize how different education is from when we went to school. I'm not talking about technology or educational standards. I'm referring to being a priority. How was it even ever okay to cut funding for education? Were we over valuing our children...their futures...our state's future? Who in their right mind said 'You know we are really putting too high of a price on kids'? Or were they smart? Maybe they realized teachers and administrators love what they do so much they would take up the slack. Because we do. We have fundraisers in communities where the majority of the kids qualify for free and reduced lunches. The money for these fundraisers go for things our kids should not have to ask for. Chairs, supplies, electives, field trips! I have spent over $100 since January on pencils. Yes, pencils! Why? Because my kids need them. Teachers do this all the time, because it's the right thing to do. I'm not saying I'm not thankful for a raise, because I am. Teachers deserve it. But please hear these words....OUR KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE A CUTBACK. Give them what they need to flourish. Invest in them! Value them! Respect them! Oklahoma students should know they are a top priority. They deserve proper funding. Let them have the opportunity to experience putting on a drama play or having a reasonable class size. Provide for them what our generation got to experience! Your kids are worth so much more. Teachers see it. My heart aches that not everybody does. |
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