my other journal. |
Where to begin, since it's been so long. I have finally moved, and my life is actually a mess. I need to liquidate a lot of my belongings. I have so much stuff, stuff I don't use and really don't need. We're renting now, a cozy main level suite. Me and sister share a room, but I don't mind. We used to share rooms when we were little, plus I really have nothing to hide. Dad has a nice room with 3 windows that let a lot of light in. It;s what I like about the place. Windows are important. So is in suite laundry. You'd think moving would give me a sense of a fresh start, but walking down to the skytrain with sister left me feeling heavy and lost. I feel like I have nothing at all really. I hardly have enough money for when I get back, and I can't find any clothes that I feel good in. It's like wearing the wrong costume in a play about my life. At school I always see good clothes. Clothes that fit, that belong. It feels right looking at them. I feel frustrated trying to get dressed. Just want give up and flop back down on the bed. Just don't go out. But then again, I feel as if I shouldn't complain or waste my time thinking about these sorts of things. I shouldn't bitch, and I don't want to tell my mum because she already has her hands full with Mama and sister. I don't want to seem weak. I should get going. Time to do psychology at Bennet. |