Rabbit King

Rabbit King

Despite its size, viciousness and the smell, Gerald’s parents felt they couldn’t complain about his Giant Rabbit.

         ‘It’s the only thing that seems to bring him out of his shell,’ he heard his Mum telling the neighbour, Mrs Hunter.

         He’d been in his shell for as long as he could remember. The few times he’d come out of it had and only served to reinforce his sound reasoning for remaining inside.

         One time he came out was his 5th birthday party. His Mum, a drama teacher, had cajoled him into dressing up for it, pushing him in the direction of her extensive costume box. Gerald had chosen to dress as a mushroom. He made his entrance to hysterical laughter and a punch on the nose from Billy Bishop.

         The second time was the school nativity play. He knew his Mum always wanted him to be in it and, even though it was everything that he hated, he put himself forward as a shepherd.

His costume caught on a nail and was torn off him as he stepped forward for his one and only line. He was left standing in his old y-fronts.

         That was aged 7. The shell had been his permanent home since then. Although he had to leave the house to go to school he took it with him when he went. Most of his school reports included ‘shy or withdrawn’ and quite often mentioned that he ‘didn’t socialise’.

        When he started at the comprehensive, the P.E. teacher, Mr Ford, frequently told him he needed to toughen up. Gerald never took his gym kit though; his Mum said it wasn’t good for him to do anything too physical, being such a gentle boy. In the second year, Mr Ford made him play rugby in a spare kit. The shirt smelt mouldy and reached down to his knees. He broke his arm in the first scrum and had three weeks off school.

When he returned he received brief attention and a few scribblings on his cast. This was how he was reunited with Billy Bishop.

        ‘I know you, you’re Gerald Williams, mushroom-boy,’ he said, drawing on the cast. He proceeded to share his fond memories throughout the school. Gerald’s shell was a fixed feature now but it didn’t stop the mushroom jokes and the graffiti.

         The assistance of his Mother, who insisted on taking him to school and picking him up, daily, in her old Robin Reliant, or Spazwagon, as Billy Bishop christened it, ensured that Gerald’s time at school was both disturbing and terrifying. At home where he spent most of his time, Gerald was always reading. He loved encyclopaedias and reference books of all kinds and was fascinated by the unusual, outlandish and bizarre. He subscribed to Fantasma, a monthly journal of the weird and wonderful and it was here that he read about Gustav, the German Giant Rabbit. Gustav was currently the world’s largest rabbit, weighing in at thirty-three pounds and measuring over three feet from head to tail.

         When he asked his parents if he could have one they looked at each other nervously.

         ‘Well I don’t know,’ said his Mum.

         ‘I’m not sure it’s a good idea,’ said his Dad.

         Gerald pleaded with them for a few minutes and they agreed.

         ‘Can’t we just go to the pet shop?’ his Dad asked when Gerald informed him of the 200 mile round trip to collect his rabbit.

         ‘This is a special rabbit Dad, a British Giant, you can’t get them from the pet shop.’

         When they returned Gerald had insisted that the rabbit stayed in his room. He’d cleared a space at the bottom of his cupboard.

         ‘It’s not hygienic, love’ his Mum argued.

         ‘I have to keep an eye on him,’ he insisted.

         ‘Well if it means that much to you.’

         Gerald gave his mum details of the specialist food that would need to be ordered for his rabbit.

        ‘It’s a bit pricey love,’ his Mum said at first.

         ‘He really needs it Mum, or he wont be big enough.’

         ‘Well, ok then. At least you’ve got a nice hobby now.’

         Gerald didn’t want to go to school that first Monday.

         ‘He might not like it on his own Mum’.

         ‘Just this once then’, she agreed.

         Gerald didn’t go to school at all that week but his parents were pleased when he started to accompany his Mum to the Supermarket.

         ‘He does seem to be coming out of his shell a bit, I have to say,’ agreed his Dad.

         Gerald hated the supermarket and squirmed whenever they met one of his Mum’s friends. They always mentioned how much he’d grown and looked just like his Father. He put up with this though so he could get the best lettuce for Grummidge.  His full name was Grummidge of Bathwedale. All champion rabbits needed a full name it seemed. He soon discovered that if he left the shopping to his Mum she brought back the cheapest lettuce she could find. He made sure that only the best were selected: Endive, Lollo Rosso and Radicchio.

         Gerald spent all his spare time with Grummidge, carrying him everywhere at first, until he was too large. He grew quickly and within a year weighed over 20 pounds. Gerald began to take him out to the woods for regular exercise. At first he kept him on a lead but soon didn’t need one. Grummidge walked obediently at his side, only running off when Gerald allowed it.

        He was fiercely protective and easily frightened off any dogs that came near. Gerald bought a studded collar for him, and felt safe whenever he was with him. School though, continued to be a nightmare. The new Headmaster, Scarsdale, was an ex-army Captain. He singled out Gerald and other ‘sissies’, deciding that the best cure for their shyness was public exposure. He decreed that each of them would have to make a presentation to the whole school in the morning assembly. Gerald would be first, straight after the summer holidays.

        Throughout the holidays he exercised Grummidge daily, continually stepping up the regime as he continued to grow in size and strength. Only Gerald could go anywhere near him now without being badly scratched or bitten. Each night Gerald stayed in his room with Grummidge, talking to him and brushing his thick white fur.

      One day when no one was home, he pulled out his Mum’s dressing up box from the loft. There were two rabbit costumes in the collection, but only one was suitable, a pure white rabbit headdress. He wore it in the bedroom with Grummidge each night. He spent hours, glaring into the mirror and marching up and down with it on. Grummidge watched him, transfixed. That night he spoke to Gerald for the first time.

         ‘My King, at last you have come. The weaklings and the pampered pet shop fools had begun to doubt, but the faithful knew the prophecies wouldn’t lie. Now we can rise again, cowering and hiding no longer.’

         Gerald accepted the truth of his coronation. Over the next few days they began to make their plans. One night they went to the woods when his parents were sleeping. On the way Grummidge stopped regularly to beat on the floor with his giant back paw. They headed to a large clearing in the centre of the woods and waited.

         Within minutes they could hear a rumbling and rustling from all directions. Slowly at first the clearing began to fill with rabbits. Wild grey rabbits, small black and white rabbits, Angora’s, Dwarf rabbits, Lop-eared rabbits, Common White rabbits and even a few Giant rabbits, though none as large as Grummidge. Soon the clearing was full and still they could hear more rabbits coming. Grummidge stepped forward and thumped his foot vigorously.

      ‘Your king!’

      The forest trembled as the multitude answered in unison, beating out a rhythmic adulation. Grummidge stepped back and Gerald stood before them, resplendent in his headdress. He raised his hands and there was instant silence.

         ‘Loyal rabbits, no longer must you cower, shrink, run and hide. I have called you here to tell you that this is our time. We will gather our forces; make our plans and then strike at the throat of our oppressors. Look around you. See our strength. When I call you, you must come!’

         Grummidge stepped forward teeth bared, and shrieked a rousing battle cry to the multitude. They returned this with ear splitting volume; mouths open revealing thousands of scythe like teeth. With a sweep of Gerald’s hand they were silent and began to disperse.

         Two weeks later the holidays were over. On Monday morning he got up early and told his Mum he was taking Grummidge to school with him for a special project.

        ‘Oh my God Gerald how did he get so big?’ she said as Grummidge leapt onto the back seat, causing the tiny car to rock.

         ‘Good food and exercise Mum, that’s all.’

         ‘I can’t see out the back,’ she said.

         Gerald gestured to Grummidge who immediately lay down.

         ‘You’re so clever with him aren’t you? Where did you learn that then? One of your books I suppose.’

         Gerald smiled. At the school gates he opened the door and Grummidge jumped out.

         ‘Have a nice day at school Gerald’, his Mum shouted as they walked through the gates.

         The playground was full and as Gerald and Grummidge approached, heads began to turn. Soon fingers were pointing and some began to jeer and laugh.

         ‘What the hell is that thing Williams?’

         ‘Your pet is a mutant.’

         Gerald walked straight through the crowds. He remained silent but Grummidge hissed at anyone that got close. They backed off. Gerald and Grummidge strode into school towards the assembly hall. They climbed on to the stage and disappeared behind the curtains. Gerald pulled on his headdress as they waited. Soon the hall began to fill with the usual chattering and murmuring. As this began to reduce and the hall finally fell silent, Gerald guessed that the teachers had arrived on stage. He signalled to Grummidge and his giant foot began to beat the floor rhythmically.

         ‘What on earth is that noise?’ this was Scarsdale the Headmaster.

         Mr. Ford, the P. E. teacher pulled back the curtain.

         ‘Jesus Williams, what the hell are you doing back here? You’re supposed to be up here with us. What the hell is that?’ he said pointing at Grummidge who continued his drumming.

        Gerald stared at Ford.

         ‘Get that idiotic thing off your head?’ he said pointing at Gerald’s white headdress.

         Gerald didn’t move.

         ‘Ok, fine, I’m sure the school will appreciate your costume. Get out here, now!’

         He leaned forward to take Gerald’s hand. Grummidge bared his teeth but Gerald halted him and allowed himself to be led out onto the stage.          

        ‘Headmaster, Williams is ready for his assembly. As you can see, he’s gone to a lot of trouble.’

        The Headmaster turned round.

        ‘What on earth…’ He looked Gerald up and down than grabbed his wrist pulling him to the front of the stage.          

        ‘Look school, Williams thinks he’s a rabbit. He’s got a special message for us this morning, haven’t you Williams?’

        The hall was full now, the whole school, first years at the front, and sixth formers right at the back, nearly 700 in total. They were all laughing at him as Scarsdale led him to the front of the stage in his snow-white rabbit headdress.

        ‘Well go on Williams,’ prodding him, ‘give the school the benefit of your wisdom.’

      Gerald said nothing. A few pupils started to look and point out of the windows on each side of the hall. The laughter quickly subsided as more and more noticed the gathering rabbits.

         Gerald had heard them come. The playground on one side of the hall and the football field, on the other, were swarming with rabbits. They waited for his sign. As they drummed their feet, the windows shook and rattled. Grummidge hopped out from behind the curtain to join him on the stage. At a nod from Gerald he opened his mouth and began to scream; a high pitched sound that cut through the hall. Teachers and children froze as the waiting hordes answered him, baring their own teeth.

         ‘Now, no one panic,’ Mr Ford tried to maintain order but was ignored. They ran for the doors.