Strange feelings

i woke up from a long night of restless sleep.i had kept tossing and turning all night. i kept getting dreams. strange dreams that i had no idea why i got them. one of my dreams was not so strange but what happened in that dream was strange to me only. but i liked it. i LIKED how it felt. I just plain LIKED it. probably more than i should have. i kept thinking about that all night. until dawn came and the pale pinks and yellows and reds flooded my room with color. that's when i knew it was time to get up for the day.

i got dressed and headed out side. eager to taste the warm wet summer air. when i got out the door the breeze hit my face and blew my dark curls away from my face. it felt good. almost as good as my dream... maybe i shouldn't think about that. it's easier.i walked to the nearby park. to get some fresh air. that should help me clear my head. once i got there, i sat on a wooden park bench to just think. while i sat my phone vibrated against my leg. i grabbed it and saw it was a text message. my breath caught. could it be...

Hey Leah
how are you? I've missed you here in new york
wish you were here! ~Kaitlyn~

i relaxed and took a breath. I wished Kaitlyn were here so i could explain all the crazy emotions i was feeling. she had gone to new york for the whole summer and i missed her greatly. my thoughts returned to my worries. to that dream... might as well think about it, cant hide from it forever. my phone vibrated again and this time my heart jumped when i saw who was texting me. It was Aaron, my best friend besides Kaitlyn.

hey, what you up to?

his very message brought the memory of my dream to the surface of my thoughts. it had all happened so fast. in my dream he had sent me the very same message and then came over to my house. we had been talking and laughing like we usually did since we were kids. but this time it was different. he had reached for my hand. then he stroke my cheek. until finally he pressed his lips on mine.

the memory of the dream brought a blush to my cheeks. the rest of the night my dreams were along those same lines. some less some more. i was so ashamed for having those feelings. I already had a boyfriend Jason. Aaron was my best friend did i want more than that? i decided to answer his message and wrote:

hey Aaron, I'm at the park.
what are you up to?

my face went red thinking about him. i had known him since we were in grammar school. i had moved to st Joseph Michigan when i was 7 years old. Now i was 17. what i liked about my house was that i was right in front of silver beach. I had met Aaron when i almost ran him over with my bike and found out he lived a couple houses down. ever since then we've been inseparable. but lately i had been getting very odd dreams about him. my phone vibrated again. i grabbed it quickly my hand instantly going cold.

not much just drawing...and
writing.
u said u were at the park right?

I smiled, then quickly wrote back my fingers flying over my keyboard

yes Aaron. I'm. at. the. park.

a breeze blew my hair away from my face and chilled my cheeks.
he responded again.

is it ok if i join you?

I wrote back to him

of course Aaron.

I lifted my head and looked around the park for Aaron. Some ten minutes later darkness filled my sight."guess who?" "i recognize that voice anywhere. Aaron." he removed his hands from my eyes and came around to sit with me. "hello, how are you?" "I'm good you?" "good i was thinking about you and Jason." "you were?" "yeah. you know we just graduated and you've been dating Jase since the beginning of the year. and well i was wondering, how are you gonna maintain the relationship with him?" "oh, uh... hmm. good question. well we're gonna keep calling each other i guess. And maybe we'll meet up here then and go out i guess," i frowned " why?" "i was just wondering you know curious. your like my sister leah of course I'm gonna wonder." "oh right." he smiled. my breath caught. i had never realized how NICE his smile was. leah stop. i commanded myself. "so what are you doing around here by yourself?" Aaron asked. "I don't know just needed some air" "are you okay? i mean i saw you run out your house earlier that's why i texted you. you know just to see if you were alright." i smiled, "aww thanks Aaron." i gave him a sideways hug. "no problem just don't scare me." "OK i wont." "you want some ice cream or something?" he asked all of a sudden. his question caught me off guard.he noticed my hesitation. "er, maybe not." his face fell. "no. no, Aaron wait. I'd love some ice cream. you just... caught me off guard there." i smiled earnestly at him. he smiled back in return.

"great. cause i know this great place and i think you'll just worship the place once you've tasted their lemon sorbet." i laughed. "ok, sounds good to me lets go." i hopped up off the bench and pulled him up with me. "c'mon slow poke lets get moving, sorbet isn't going to be there forever." i teased pretending to be impatient. Aaron was laughing like crazy. "OK, OK I'm walking I'm walking..." then all of a sudden he went behind me and lifted me in the air. his arms locked around my small waist. "... and now I've got ya!" i had forgotten how much taller he was than my 5ft' 5. "Aaron! put me down!" i said through my giggles. "nope, nope. nope. you were being a bad girl so now I'm punishing you." he replied. i could here the smug triumph in his voice.

to be honest, i actually didn't mind him carrying me. it felt.... right. 'what are you thinking leah?! you are with Jason!' a voice inside me said. 'yeah, but, i can't deny what I'm feeling....'

"ugh, you are getting heavier!" Aaron complained. i laughed. "yeah, no one told you to carry me." i reminded him. "hmmm, true." he agreed. he set me down, only to grab my hands when i walked behind him. "Aaron..." i objected. he pulled me gently onto his back. "moron." i muttered. he laughed. "ouch. that hurt. that was cold," he joked "c'mon leah where's you sense of humor? this should be fun." i couldn't help but laugh with him. i strangled my legs around his waist. and i wrapped one arm underneath one of his and the other above his other shoulder. making it look like he were carrying a diagonal stripe across his chest. i don't want to choke him. he kept walking, his hands on my arms in case i slipped off his back. this too, felt...nice. normal. special. damn. i had no idea where these feelings were coming from. 'come on leah, Jason remember? Jason.' i thought to myself. but i couldn't help it. Aaron carried me most of the way to the ice cream shop. Then he let me down. "alright miss. this is it." he opened the door and held it open for me. "thanks" "no problem." i walked into the air conditioned room. the menu for ice cream and sorbets were endless. "w-o-w" i i breathed. Aaron laughed. I blushed "what? the menu's ginormous." "ginormous?" -he asked eyebrows raised- "i thought an ex honors student would have a better vocabulary." he teased. "well sorry. but it was the first word to got through my mind." he smiled. we ordered our things and then after retrieving them went to find a seat.

"so what did i tell you? is this the best sorbet you've ever tasted or what?" Aaron asked. "definitely the best" i answered. he smiled. "i knew you'd like it." i smiled in return, before putting another spoonful in my mouth. 'he knows what i like...' i think. 'here we go again' a voice inside me says. I roll my eyes. "what? Jason doesn't know your favorite sorbet flavor?" he gasped in mocking horror. I rolled my eyes again. "well to be honest, no he doesn't know." "wow." "shut up Aaron." "ok ok." I laughed. i inched my foot forward, under the table. he smiled at me. then i wrapped my foot around his leg. 'leah!' my mind told me. Aaron looked at me with a strange expression on his face. my eyes met his. i let go of his leg embarrassed. I looked down at my ice cream cup. but then, his foot wrapped around my leg as well. I looked up at him slowly. i met his gaze. the same expression was there. It was, caring. Loving. passionate. intimate. solemn. promising. he gave me a sweet smile. his eyes on mine. I grinned shyly back at him. he bent his head looking at the table. His brown shaggy hair sliding in front of his eyes. his beautiful electric blue eyes. "wow" i breathed. his head snapped back up. some of his hair on his right eyes. "you say something?" his blue eyes burning into mine. "uh, no. no" he gave me a crooked grin. 'wow' i thought. I couldn't help it. i wondered how his hair felt like. Without thinking i reached across the table and moved the lock of hair that was covering his right eye. he swallowed nervously. his eyes on my face. his hair felt soft. addicting. i ran my hand through the right side of his head. he closed his eyes. my hand stopped when i reached his cheek. i moved my thumb back and forth on his cheek. "mmmm, leah." he whispered. "yes?" i whispered back. He swallowed nervously again. "what are you doing?" he whispered. "i... i don't know." i answered truthfully. "good." he replied. he reached for my face as well. his soft warm hand. he cupped my cheek. I closed my eyes. 'what are you doing leah?' my little voice asked me.

what WAS i doing? I didn't know. And I didn't care. being there with Aaron. just made me feel.... good. I had to admit. these were very strange feelings. Aaron made me feel.... special. different. loved. happy. He made me feel happy. Like i was safe. I swallowed nervously, like he had done. He kept his gaze on mine. my knees shook. threatening to give away at any second. "I can't take this anymore leah." he whispered. his warm breath flew across my face. I closed my eyes. 'kiss me already' i thought. he rubbed his thumb back and forth just like i had done. He took a deep breath. "i'm sorry. but i have to do this." then he pressed his lips on mine and kissed me.

His mouth on mine, felt.... perfect. like it was molded specifically to fit mine. I didn't hesitate. i kissed him back as well. 'could he really be meant for me?' i thought 'could Aaron be the right one? could i be mistaken by thinking Jason is the one for me?' I thought. what was i thinking? I didn't know and i didn't care. All i really cared about was that i was kissing Aaron, a beautiful, caring, trusting boy that had potential to be mine and only mine. We parted. Aaron smiled, "I can't believe you just kissed ME." he whispered. I smiled, "I can't believe you kissed ME" i whispered back. Aaron chuckled. He reached for my face again and pulled me to meet his waiting lips. This kiss started slow and passionate. Slowly it morphed into a urgent kiss. Like if he just couldn't get enough. He pulled away. "Um.. do you want to leave?" he asked. His voice was oddly rough and husky. "Ok." I answered.

We exited the shop. We walked in awkward silence. "do you want to come down to the beach with me?" he asked suddenly. "I nodded. "Sure i love y- uh going to the beach with you." he smiled just a bit. More awkward silence. Then we reached the beach. Since when did it feel so strange to be near Aaron? He looked out across the sand and out to the water. He said nothing. "Aaron, can i ask you something?" he had a serious look on his face. "of course." "well, back at the shop you said you couldn't take this anymore. what were you talking about exactly?" He shifted a little, "well, it's just that, I'm tired of seeing you and Jason. I can't stand seeing him near you. The thing is that he doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. And well I feel that i can treat you the way you deserve to be treated," he stopped and looked down at our feet. he was facing me now. "I love you leah," he whispered. I couldn't believe what he was saying. "I want you to feel happy, safe and loved.... with me." He finally looked up at me. His blue eyes burning. "Aaron. I already feel happy, safe and loved." "you do?" he asked sadly. "yes i do," i cupped his cheek "when I'm with you." he looked up at me and smiled. " i love you too. you've been starring in my dreams for a while." "really?" he raised his eyebrow "sweet." I smiled. "come here." he whispered. he pulled me to him fro a knee melting kiss. we hadn't noticed but the sky had grown darker and the wind grew fiercer. As we stood there, the rain began to fall. And as it kept raining harder i thought that Aaron really was for me. Kissing in the rain is something i had never done and will never do with Jason.

i wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. I held his face in between mine. his hair was wet and looked adorable plastered to his head. I could feel my clothes were soaked. I was soaked to the core. Aaron tangled his hand in my wet hair. His kiss became urgent again. Violent. Hungry. Craving. Longing. I kissed him back matching his intensity. My hand involuntarily slipped under his shirt. we pulled away. But not after i felt his taut stomach underneath my finger tips. I was burning with longing and desire now. Aaron was too. He looked at me his eyes burning and shining with excitement. He smiled. I smiled back. "come." he grabbed my hand and we ran through the rain. We ran all the way to his house. It was now around 12:00 noon. No one was in my house. No one was in his house. Aaron's parents worked their ass off during the summer so it was when they were less at home. The heavy rain made it hard to see . We went in through the back door. As soon as he closed it. He grabbed my waist and kissed me. I kissed him back. Hard. "we should at least get past the kitchen." i teased. he laughed and nipped my lip. "come with me." he grabbed my hand and we ran up the back stairs up to the second story of his house. We ran towards his room. He turned around and i ran into him as we ran. As i did he grabbed my face and kissed me violently, filled with desire. I kissed him back just as excited. We ran into his room.

He turned to me again. kissing me and pushing me up against his door, causing me to close it. he reached past my hip to lock it. "I love you." he murmured. "I love you." I replied. I held his face in between my hands. running my hands through his soft hair. he rubbed his hands down my sides. my hands reached down and slipped under his shirt. His stomach was so strong. The look on his face as i pulled his shirt over his head, was priceless. He smiled at me. "naughty much leah?" he smiled and winked. I blushed "a little i can't help it." I brought his face to mine. he groaned "leah." he unbuttoned and unzipped my jean shorts. His hands held my waist, that was barely covered by my t-shirt. His hands on my skin were warm and inviting. I hooked my fingers on the belt hoops of his jeans. pulling him with me as i walked towards his bed. I could feel him smiling, his mouth on mine the entire time. The rain still poured outside, making it look like someone was emptying a bucket over Aaron's window.

I fell down and scooted up until my head reached his pillows. Aaron crawled over to me. I was going crazy with every kiss. He removed my shirt and kissed my neck. I held his soft hair and neck. I reached down to unzip his jeans. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. "You do know what we're doing right? leah?" he asked. "yes i do know." I kissed him again. "I love you remember." he smiled and kissed me again. "that's my girl." he whispered against my mouth. I smiled. My hands sliding down his chest and stomach. His hands slid down my sides. leaving my skin burning. our hands met up. He kissed me hard. And i knew exactly what we were going to do. And it didn't bother me. Aaron was the one. I matched the urgency behind his kiss. There was no going back now. "Come here." he whispered..........

*************

It was done. I slept with Aaron. My virginity. Gone. Given to Aaron.

We lay in his bed. Aaron had fallen asleep. I turned on my side to look at him. His face was calm. Peaceful. innocent. His features so soft and angelic. Nothing compared to what we did. He had such a soft and innocent look when he was sleeping. Again, he was anything but innocent. especially after today. His soft breathing was soothing. rhythmic. In. Out. In. Out. I smiled. That's my boy. I turned back to look at the ceiling. For some reason, i wasn't regretting what happened between us. I mean yes there is the problem of Jason. But still. Everything for Jason, every feeling, vanished. Replaced by the love i felt for Aaron.

Aaron's breathing broke out of its rhythmic pattern. I turned my head to face him. He was watching me. "Having regrets?" he asked. he winked. I smiled. "Nope." His eyes widened in surprise. "really? no regrets?" I propped my self up on my elbow and leaned towards him. "not even one." i pressed my lips softly against his. He grinned warmly and kissed me back. He placed his hand flatly on my back. Holding me to him. When we parted he lied back down on his back. "wow. I can't believe we did that." he breathed. Lifting his arms above his head. I smiled. I scooted next to him. feeling his warmth. His arms came down around me. "Are you having regrets?" I asked. He looked down at me. "Nope." "At all?" "Not a single one." I chuckled. I rested my head on his chest. "You're so beautiful." he whispered while tracing my jaw with his finger. "You're beautiful too." I complimented. "not as much as you." he replied smiling. He bent his lips to mine to kiss me. As he kissed me, he rolled over so i could be beneath him. He kept kissing me. I laughed. "Aaron, we are not having sex again." "he laughed "why not?" I raised my eyebrow "kidding."he amended. He kissed me again then rolled off me. I laughed, "don't worry we'll do it again. not today though." He grinned "Okay."

He grew quiet. "what's wrong?" I asked. "What are you going to do about Jason?" he asked. I thought. "What do you think i should do?" He gave me a slight smile. "Leave him for me." then he added "duh." I smiled. "That would be the best thing to do." he nodded. I frowned. "How am i gonna break it to him?" i asked myself. "maybe you should text him." Aaron suggested. i shook my head, "no, that's cold." "having sex with your best friend while you're supposedly his girlfriend is cold." he retorted. I half smiled "that's true." He smiled. "I know. If it makes things any easier though, you're not the only one cheating." I frowned, "what do you mean?" "Leah. I'm a guy and his friend I would know if he said things like oh I don't know 'I slept with Alissa Julian last week.' " "What?" Aaron grew serious. "I told you that I didn't like the way he treated you didn't I? Leah, he's been cheating on you for months. sleeping with any girl who offers herself to him because you didn't want to." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't want to hurt you. You seemed happy with him. Besides he threatened me. He said that if I ever told you, he'd rape you and hurt you. He said he was going to have you no matter what." My jaw dropped. "I'm sorry Leah. I should have told you a long time ago." "Yes you should have. That way I would have dumped him and realized my feelings for you a long time ago. And you decide to tell me now after i sleep with you. Ha! that's nice." "Leah..." "Sorry, I'm not mad at you just wow, in shock." "So.. you don't hate me?" "No. I cant ever hate you." He smiled.

he wrapped his arm around me. we were starting to doze off again when we heard noise downstairs. Aaron bolted upright. "Shit! They're home early." He said. I sat up. "What do we do?" "well the first thing they will do is come see if im home. If they find us..." That was enough for me, i jumped out of his bed. "here" He tossed me his T-shirt and I threw it on. he grinned. "what?" "I had a dream of you wearing that shirt once." I smiled. "heh sweet." "yeah i know. Come on lets hide you." "right."
"Aaron?" We heard his mom call. Great. Aaron pulled on some shorts and grabbed a shirt off the floor. he pushed my stuff under his covers and pillows and locked me in his closet- Just as his mom opened the door.
i peaked through the small cracks in his closet.
"Hey mom." he greeted. He sounded like if he had been running for miles.
"Hey sweetie. I thought you'd be dressed and out and about by now."
"Yeah. I was. I just was caught in the rain with Leah, so I just dropped her off and came home. I showered too and fell asleep. I was about to go back out since the rain stopped. Leah and I were going to go to the mall or something just to hang out." he explained.
'damn that was nice' I thought. His mom bought his story but still thought there was something fishy about it.
"okay... well say hi to Leah for me when you see her."
"sure thing."
"Ok well don't come home too late I'm going back out in ten minutes."
"Ok."
Finally she left and closed the door.
I watched Aaron walk over quietly to his door and press his ear against it.Then he suddenly got the need to blast metal music on his radio. Then he walked over to the closet and opened the door.
"hey beautiful" he said quietly. I could barely hear him.
"damn that's loud it shook the whole damn closet." I said quietly as well.He chuckled. "its just so she wont hear us. But before we leave we have to wait until she's gone. deal?" "deal"

We got dressed but was kind of hard with all the kissing going on. Aaron had his arms around my waist and wouldn't let me find my flip flops. I laughed "Aaron c'mon!" I pleaded. he laughed and kept me prisoner. Finally he let me go and i managed to get my sandals on. "OK. ready?" I asked him. "Yep." He answered giving me a sweet kiss. I smiled. We walked hand in hand out of his room and out the door.

"So. what are we going to do?" I asked him. "Well, I told my mom we'd go to the mall... but, how about we go to the movies instead," he turned to me. "that good?" I smiled, "Yeah. You. Me. A dark room. what better place?" I winked. Aaron laughed.
He slung me onto his back as we walked to the movies. Laughing and having fun the entire time. When we finally got there, he put me down. "Come on." he grabbed my hand and we walked to the ticket booth- only to find Harry.
Harry was one of Jason's closest friends. And if there was something that Harry knew that Jason didn't, Jason would Always and I mean always find out. I gulped and froze in my tracks. Aaron sensed my fear. He squeezed my hand looking as grim as I did. We approached Harry slowly. Harry stared at us. His eyes going from my face to Aaron's, and down to our linked hands. The look on his face said it all. Jason was going to find out about this. My only hope? To get to Jason before Harry did.

"Harry." Aaron said. "Aaron," He replied. "I see you managed to get Jason's girl. does Jason know about this?" Aaron's hand became stone around mine. "Are you going to do your job or what? Because I can pull strings and get you fired for harassing your clients" Aaron's voice was in one word -scary. "Oh yeah. I can get your little girl toy here raped. Remember?" I winced. Aaron flexed his hand around mine. "Stay away from her." he growled. His eyes had danger written all over, nothing compared to my sweet boy. He was an animal. Harry glared back. "Aaron. Lets get out of here," I tugged at his arm, "C'mon baby, lets leave." I tugged harder. "Ah so the slut talks." Harry spits. That's it! I let go of Aaron and walked up to Harry. I Punched his face as hard as I could. I heard a satisfying crunch. I smiled smugly, and turn to walk back to Aaron. Harry clutched his jaw. he moaned, "ow that hurt bitch! Jason will know for sure!" He calls after me. I stop and look over my shoulder. "So what? That man-whore doesn't deserve me. It's not like I don't know about his slutty girl toys." Then I walk up to Aaron grab his hand and lead him away.

As soon as we were out of Harry's earshot. I hugged Aaron. He wrapped his arms around me. "Wow." he breathed. "what?" I ask "You were amazing. That's what." He stops me and tilts my head so I can look him the eyes. "That was very brave Leah. He could have hurt you." I smiled, "That big wuss?" Aaron chuckled. "I love you my little warrior." "I love you too my Trojan prince." He raised his eyebrow, "Still into Greek myths huh?" I nod guilty. He chuckles and leans to meet his lips to mine. "My little warior princess." then he kissed me. I chuckle, "That was so cheesy." He laughs, "But it's true." he counters. I held on to him as we walked towards the mall, and the movie theater it held.

"I'm afraid." Aaron admits. "Why?" I already knew the answer. "I don't want Jason to hurt you. and you and i both know he's capable of hurting you."