My Insomniac - Chapter 1 First Draft

Chapter 1: Nightmares

Letting out a low moan, I stretch out my stiff limbs and sit up. I tug on the kitty cat curtains I’ve had since I was four, letting the sunlight pour into my bedroom.
“Serena! Serena get down here!” my mom’s sing song voice calls up to me from the kitchen.
Dragging myself out of bed, I pad along the cold floorboards to the door and open it. I wander along the hallway to the bathroom and knock on the door, “Seth! Seth get out already!” I yell to him.
The peeling lemon coloured wallpaper is not a great comfort for me since I really need to go to the toilet so I close my eyes and keep my legs together.
The shower shuts off and Seth strolls out with a towel wrapped around his waist, “There you go sis, don’t wet yourself.” He chuckles evilly.
I glare after him briefly before slipping into the freakishly clean bathroom.
After I’m finished doing ‘my business’ I climb into the shower and flick the water on. Its ice cold and I scream out at Seth angrily. Seeing as the hot water won’t come on for another hour or so, I decide to make do and shampoo and condition my rats nest bed hair.
Climbing out, I wrap a towel around me and walk over to the mirror. I comb my honey blonde hair out and smile at my reflection.
I sigh and leave the bathroom quickly. I am met with a wave of cold air as Seth throws open the front door to go for his morning run. I gasp and scurry back into my bedroom.
As I am getting dressed it hits me. A sharp pain in my stomach. I am struck by the feeling like something life changing-ly horrible is going to happen. I have the urge to puke right here and now.
“SERENA AMANDA LAWRENCE GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!” calls the now, annoyed voice of my mom.
I finish pulling on my skinny jeans and my black H.I.M singlet top. Then going over to my dressing table, I do my makeup and hair. I sigh at my reflection this time. Why couldn’t I be pretty? Maybe then I’d get a boyfriend who wouldn’t dump me for Stella Johnson. Sure, she’s hot, easy and incredibly dumb, but I can be that too! Oh who am I kidding...I’m not hot, I’m not easy and I’m incredibly smart, well, smarter than average.
I leave my bedroom still clutching at my strangely sick feeling stomach. My mom takes one look at me and shakes her head, “Oh I’m sorry sweetheart. You look terrible!” she tells me.
I gaze up at her, “I don’t know what it is, I just feel like something really, really bad is going to happen!” I explain helplessly.
Mom touches my arm gently, “You can stay home and get over it. Your Aunt Louisa isn’t going to throw a fit if you don’t show up.”
I nod slowly.
My parents and I were meant to be going to Los Angeles to visit my aunt Louisa at her new house. Mom, dad and I were going to stay there for a few days and come home again.
I kiss my parents goodbye exactly one hour after mom told me I couldn’t go. I feel kind of sad, but don’t show that to mom or she’d force me to go. The truth is, I don’t really want to go anyway.
Strolling back into the lounge, I search around for the remote and upon finding it, turn the television on. The first thing that shows up is an advert for shampoo. I roll my eyes and switch the channel. I find the cable movies channel and smile as Disturbia comes on. I haven’t seen it before, but its good enough in the ads for me to want to watch it.
When it finishes I am sitting with an empty popcorn bowl in my lap and my teddy bear Jimmy by my side. My eyes are wide. I’ve never been very good at watching horror movies. Every little thing, even if it was the slightest jerky movement, I will begin screaming hysterically.
I stand up and go into the kitchen. Glancing up at the clock I sigh. It’s only one o’clock. I must have gotten up late.
Shrugging it off, I run into my room and over to the wardrobe. I grab a pair of mini shorts and a tank top and pulling them on over my head; I pull my wispy hair up into a high ponytail and head out of the house. I wave goodbye to my cat Woof and close the door.
I lock the door behind me and turn around. I decide to jog around to the park.
The wind hits me as I begin to run. My feet pound against the concrete over and over again trying to knock the nausea out of my stomach. I plug my ear phones in my ears and turn my I-Pod on. The song it starts on is Discotech by Young Love. I shake my head and push the ‘next’ button. This song is no good at keeping me in my exercise mood, it’s Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. I have more luck with the third option. I smile as I run a bit faster with Breaking Benjamin’s Dance With The Devil pounding inside my head.
The park is basically empty. I bite my lip and run around the trees and follow the curly overlapping paths before heading out. I glance down and notice my purse poking out of my shorts pocket. I grab it and find the grocery list inside along with the grocery money my mom had given me before she and dad had left.
I sprint over to the store and walk in. I grab a trolley and push it around the shop grabbing the stuff on the list (accidentally on purpose leaving the vegetables Seth and me don’t like off and substituting them with chocolate) and throwing them in.
I get to the checkout and pay for it all before realising then that I don’t have a car to take it all home in. I let out an exasperated ‘grr’ and the girl takes pity on me, “Take the trolley back to your place, but you have to bring it back.” She tells me.
I thank her and push the trolley home as fast as humanly possible. I unload the trolley of the bags of food in record time and begin pushing it back.
I get about halfway there when my chest begins to vibrate. I wriggle around uncomfortably before realising it’s my cell phone and grab it out of my bra. I flip it open, “Hello?” I ask as I don’t recognise the number.
“Miss Lawrence?” a male voice on the other end asks.
I furrow my brow in thought, “Uh, yeah, who is this?” I inquire confused.
There is a short pause before he continues, “My name is Josh Lincoln. I am a policeman and I need to talk to you about something. I’m at your house right now, but you’re not here.”
My jaw literally drops. I stare ahead of me blankly, “What?” I ask him, my heart pounding faster.
“This isn’t something to discuss over the phone. I’d like it if you could come back to your house so we can speak.” He says.
I rack my brain to try and think about what I could have done, “No, I’d rather you told me now. I’m kind of busy.” I tell him sternly.
He sighs, “No. This isn’t something to chat about over the phone Miss Lawrence.” He tells me.
I am beginning to get annoyed, “TELL ME NOW!” I yell at him, my heart pounding inside my chest.
I can almost hear him debating inside his head whether or not to tell me. When he does, I can sense the reluctance and pain in his voice.
“Your parents I’m afraid have died in a car accident. We need you to come down to the local police station, we couldn’t get a hold of your older brother, but we’re still trying.” His reply is echoing through my mind.
Dropping my phone, I ignore his asking if I’m alright and run. I take the trolley back to the grocery store and collapse beside it. I begin trembling uncontrollably, tears stream down my cheeks and I begin sobbing hysterically. I grab fistfuls of my hair and let out a long, heartbroken moan.
“Hey? Are you alright?”
“Is she alright?”
I hear the voices of the many worried people in my mind, but I don’t pay attention. My whole world, my life has just been cruelly torn away from me! I close myself off from the people. I enter my safe place, my happy place. That is until someone touches me.
I glare up at the person. It’s the girl from the counter, the nice one. She looks worried, “Hey, sweetie, are you okay?” she asks as she helps me to stand up.
I sniff and hug her tightly, “Stupid phone call. Police. Car crash!” I weep.
The girl leads me outside, “Is there somewhere you need to be? I can take you there if you want.” She offers kindly.
I stare at her through my thick, salty tears, “I need to go to the police station. C, can you p, please t, take me there?” I ask her quietly.
She nods and leads me over to an old blue Honda hatchback.
We climb in and she starts the car. It takes about ten minutes to reach the station. I climb out and stagger over to the doors. I go inside and let my knees collapse beneath me so I land on one of their uncomfortable seats.
“Serena Lawrence?” the lady at the desk asks.
I nod and she walks into a room out the back returning seconds later with a guy I can only imagine is Josh. He looks at me, “You’re only a child.” He says quietly.
I glare at him and he walks over to me, “I know this is upsetting.” He starts, “But we have already sorted everything out. You and Seth are going to be living with your aunt Rebecca until you are old enough to live and work by yourselves.”
I hang my head in despair, “I need Seth.” I say blankly, “I need Seth.”
I repeat those words over and over again. For some peculiar reason, they comfort me. Only in the tiniest bit.
“Serena?” Seth’s voice sounds like heaven.
I jump to my feet and throw myself into his arms, “THEY’RE DEAD!” I scream at him, “They’re dead!” I cry.

>>>Two Days later<<<

Sitting in the sun drenched church, I raise my head slightly to see the people attending the funeral. So many faces I don’t recognize make my heart thump harder. Then I spot them. Patrick and Lilly, my two best friends in the entire world, come to stand by me.
Lilly’s flaming red hair is tied up in a bun and she is wearing one of those cool hats with the lace covering her eyes. Her eyeliner is running and she is dabbing at it with a white handkerchief. Patrick is wearing a suit, something I never thought I’d see, he is also crying softly.
Ignoring my own tears, I lower my head and lay it against my big brother Seth’s shoulder. He pats my hair comforting, “It’s alright Rena.” He sniffs as he says my nickname, trying to not to cry himself, “Someone is going to look after us.”
The doors open and I hear footsteps. I turn my head at the same time as Seth I glare at Devon. My ex-boyfriend, the one that dumped me for Stella. He waves at me, “Hey Rena.”
Not trusting myself to reply, I stand up. I let out an agonised wail and flee from the hall sobbing brokenly. All eyes are on me as they watch me leave.
Slamming up against the stone wall of the church, I let my knees collapse beneath me and fall to the grass. I curl up into a ball and let out my heartbroken cries. I stay in that position for about five minutes before three shadows appear over me.
“Come here Serena.” Patrick whispers.
He helps me stand and I cling to him, “I miss them so much!” I weep.
He hugs me back, “Seth, do you mind if I hold on to her?” he asks my older brother, one of the other shadows, “She is a bit delicate at this point in time and it would be better if she sat with me and Jen.”
Seth nods, “Alright, I understand. She needs to stay away from me for a while, I’ll let her cool off.” He replies before strolling back inside.
I hear him muttering something about the damn jerk ruining me.
Lilly is still crying, “Come here you!” she tells me as she engulfs me in a huge bear hug.
I hug her back, “How could they do this to me?!” I ask her in between deep breaths.
She shakes her head, “Who?” she questions.
“Mom and dad!” I cry, “They promised to be there for me. That they would love me forever! I’m only sixteen!” I yell as tears overcome my poor barrier.
Patrick holds me closer to him, kissing my hair softly, “Don’t go back in there. I’m sure they’ll all understand.” He points to his red 1965 Ford mustang convertible, “Let’s go for a drive.”
I shake my head, “No.” I think about it for a second before continuing, “What I really need right now, is to work.” I tell them.
Lilly shakes her head sternly, “Nah uh. No way Serena! We are taking you home, you can take a shower and watch a movie with us.”
Glancing back at the great stone church as they drag me over to the mustang I watch as the people file out. Seth, Devon and Stella and a group of mom and dad’s friends carry the coffins outside. I wave to the coffins sadly, “Goodbye mom…you too dad.”
Back at home, I run straight inside, up the stairs and into the bathroom. Barricading myself in, I turn the shower on so the hot water is running and undress quickly before climbing in. The water feels good pounding on my back, like it’s knocking the cares out of me. Soon I am able to relax. I sink to the tiles with my bare back resting against the cold tiled walls. I close my eyes and think. I think about all the time I spent with my family. All the holidays, birthdays and normal days. I remember mom, her honey blonde hair always down and curly, her deep, caring blue eyes and soft skin, she was so beautiful. Dad with his dark brown hair and chocolaty eyes was always so handsome in my eyes. I used to tell him that when I grew up, I would marry him.
Those are just memories that will one day fade into nothingness.
“Serena. Teddy Bear, it’s me Jenny.”
Jerking myself out of my thoughts, I return to my harsh reality, “What?” I ask her softly.
She knocks on the door, “Can you finish up? I need to go to the toilet!”
I can just picture her standing outside squeezing her legs together and dancing uncomfortably. For a split second, a smile crosses my lips only to disappear as quickly as it had come, “Fine! I’ll unlock the door soon.” I yell back.
Standing up, I climb out onto the mat and grab a fluffy white towel, wrapping it around me tightly, I unlock the door. Lilly rushes in and I leave before she can hurt me. Standing between Lilly and a toilet when she needs it is like standing between a lion and its prey.
I get into my bedroom and slam the door shut behind me. I flick the lock on and grab my pyjamas. Well, really it’s just one of my dad’s old team t-shirts and a pair of jeans. I pull it on over my head and walk over to my mirror. I glare at myself. I’m a mess. Ever since I got the news, I haven’t been eating properly or sleeping. The rings under my eyes are definitely not smudged eyeliner. Overcome with grief and pain, that’s what it is.
Bringing my fist up, I throw it into the mirror, shattering the glass into tiny fragments. The glass enters my skin and soon the blood is trickling down my arm in rivulets. I gasp and fumble with the lock. Finally, throwing the door open, I sprint downstairs, tears streaming down my still red cheeks. Patrick leaps to his feet as I sprint past the lounge door to get to the kitchen. I grab a tea towel and end up dropping it. The blood is dripping all over the place now. Patrick runs in, “Oh god, what happened?!” he asks me picking up the tea towel and wrapping it around my wounded hand.
I whimper slightly as he ties it, “I punched the mirror.” I reply stonily.
Leaving Lilly and Seth a note to say where we are going, I follow Patrick out to his car and climb in. We drive to the other end of town to the hospital which takes approximately ten minutes. I am nursing my bleeding hand the entire way, by the time we get there I am feeling dizzy.
Patrick rushes me inside and the nurse takes one look at me and sits me down on a chair. She takes a quick look at the injury, “Hmm, it will definitely need stitches.” She notes out loud.
She leads us both into a room and leaves us to get the stuff.
I glare at the ground, trying not to make eye contact with Patrick. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end when I feel his eyes boring holes into me.
“Can’t you try to take care of yourself for one minute?” he asks me.
I shrug, “I guess not. It’s not like anyone cares anyway.” I retort.
Patrick touches my arm delicately, “I care Serena. You’re my best friend in the entire world!” he exclaims.
I force a tight smile across my lips, “You don’t care.” I snarl, “You’re just some stupid teenage boy who has problems with acne and getting a girl!”
I freeze, realising what I have said, but the damage is already done. Patrick’s face falls, “Oh yeah? Well at least I’m not some stupid little tramp who goes around so desperate for a boyfriend she’ll discard her only friends to get one!” he retorts angrily.
My mind feels dizzy. I fall back and Patrick grabs me, “I was trying to be nice Serena! You took that and threw it back in my face like the self centred, annoying jerk you are!” he pulls me back up into a sitting position, “Serena? Serena you listen to me!”
I close my eyes. Such pain I am feeling cannot possibly be coming from the physical stuff I have endured. It’s emotional. Emotional pain is agony to me. I am scarred by it.
“Serena! Serena?” his voice is growing fainter.
My mind is giving up under the stress of it all. I can’t deal with anymore...
“Serena don’t you dare die! Serena wake up! Serena?” it’s really more of a sob now.
I try to stop listening, but I can’t.
I see my parents. They look normal enough. Mom smiles sadly at me, “I’m so sorry sweetheart.” She exclaims, “I love you so much!”
Dad nods agreeing, “Don’t you die on Seth or Patrick. Those two have endured enough from you already.” He chuckles drily, “Wake up Serena.”
“Wake up Serena!” he says it again.
“Wake up Serena!” this time it’s not his voice.
Jerking my eyes open I stare at Patrick who looks worried, “I thought we’d lost you.” He admits quietly.
I fling my arms around him and weep into his chest, “I’m sorry I called you that!” I apologise.
Patrick nods, “It’s okay...shh...don’t cry.”
I lift the hand that got injured by the mirror and am startled to see it wrapped up and everything. Patrick sees my questioning stare, “They patched you up while you were unconscious.” He explains.
I nod slowly taking everything in. Sitting up, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and hop off. Well it was really more of a slide. I land on my feet and walk over to the door, “I need to get out of here.” I say.
Patrick jumps up and grabs my hand, “No Serena, you need to get back into the bed!”
“No! Patrick I need to get out of here!” I begin to hyperventilate.
He lets go of me and I sprint away from him. I push past the people and finally burst through the doors to the outside. I gasp for air. My tight chest loosens up and I can breathe easier now.
I wander over to the mustang as if I’m fine, but hold onto it for balance.
When Patrick gets to the car, he unlocks it and I climb in quickly, slamming the door shut behind me.
He climbs in beside me in the driver’s seat, “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks me.
Shaking my head I stare out the window blankly.
Closing my eyes I try to remember the faces of my parents. It’s too hard and eventually I give up and return to the blur of buildings and trees.
Seth is beside himself with worry when we get back to my house. He grabs me before I am even fully inside the house and cuddles me close, “I thought you’d attempted to commit suicide or something!” he says.
I hug him back, “I punched my mirror.” I reply, “But I’m alright. Twenty stitches and a pounding headache is all I am suffering from.”
He grins at me, “I was still worried. I came home and found Lilly sobbing on the carpet in the lounge.” He tells me, “She thinks you had tried to kill yourself as well.”
I blush and round the corner to see Lilly hugging a cushion and looking rather horrified. She jumps to her feet and squeezes me so tight I feel like I am going to pop, “You evil, meanie, stupid head!” she yells at me.
I take a deep breath and flop down onto the couch. Lilly drops down beside me, “Do you want me to stay the night?” she asks.
I shrug, “Sure why not.”
She stares at me debating whether or not to talk about it when I stand up, “Where are you going?” she asks.
Quick, lie! “To get your stuff.” I reply.
Lilly stands up and shoves past me, “Nah uh, no way! You have to stay here and look after yourself!”
Rolling my eyes I wave goodbye to her. As soon as she’s out of sight running down the road, I step outside myself.
“Where are you going?” Seth asks loudly.
Spinning around I glare at him, “Out. I should be back later.” I tell him before running away.
It’s just like before, when I got the news of my parent’s deaths.
My heart is pounding inside my chest, of course nobody else knows what’s going on. Only that I haven’t been at school today. I tell myself, “Don’t cry, do not cry!” over and over again under my breath.
I reach the cemetery. The sky is already getting dark as the sun begins to set behind the hills. I slip up the hill until I find them. Two tombstones, pearly white in colour. One says:

Jack Lawrence

Loving Father, Son and Friend.
1970-2008

The other reads:

Emma Lawrence

Loving Mother, Sister and Friend.
1971-2008

Just the sight of the stones makes me realise my worst fears. They really are gone...they aren’t coming back, never, ever, never...
I am just heading out of the cemetery gates when I hear it.
The loud, pounding music is moving nearer. It can only be coming from a car.
The sky is now dark, with only the slightest tinge of blue to it. The stars are already twinkling above the world. I manage to find the two brightest ones, “Hey mom, hey dad.” I whisper.
The car suddenly zooms around the corner. The guys inside spot me and pull over beside me. I recognise one as Brad Jensen, one of the popular guys from my school. Seth’s best mate since Seth bought him an apple pie for lunch in the third grade. Brad is only a year older than me so he’s like a second brother.
He grins at me, “Hey Serena, want to come to a party at Derrick’s house?” he asks.
Biting my lip I think about it for a second before nodding, “Why not!” I exclaim as I climb into the back.
Soon I notice I am the only girl in the car. The guys all stare at me like I am a piece of meat, that is until Brad says, “Leave her alone. She doesn’t need you guys all over her!”
I flash him a grateful little smile and turn my head so I’m looking out the window at the darkened fields of the country side.
Derrick Sanders lives way out in the country side. It takes about forty five minutes driving time to get out there and around a three, four hours to walk to it.
All the way out to the party I am thinking to myself. I really don’t want to go…really don’t want to go…Over and over again.
Finally I reach the house. It’s a big country house that stands at the end of a driveway that is about a kilometre long. It’s surrounded by thick pine trees and bushes. Very reclusive and great for loud, obnoxious parties as the nearest neighbour is five minutes away driving time.
“Hey, are you okay?” Brad asks me before climbing out.
I nod without answering. I really, really, really, shouldn’t have come out here without a ride back