The Powerfull Pondering

Words to explain in eplisit detail,
of the things i feel,
I sometimes wonder if this is how I truly feel,
I hope I am not lying to more myself than others.

The last smoke never seems right,
It's never enough even though my lungs are feeling tight,
I think of the possibilities,
Am I that happy to throw away my other choices ?

It lurks upon my shoulder,
Of how I believe I don't love her,
The noise of monstrous water pipes,
Even though everyone else manages to sleep fine.

I see my present,
I grow ever more hesitant,
The past is not what concerns me,
It is my future.

Leading down these narrower ways,
The trees aren't green and the sun does not have rays,
Instead it is cold,
I sometimes ask myself if I'm really awake.

It's all wrong,
I don't know why I'm still listening to this song,
The feelings making me sick,
Dead butterflys still trying to fly.

Never desserted at home,
Yet I always feel alone,
I hunger for infamy,
Morals tend to be coming second.

Intrigued to what you're doing and who you are,
but never jealous because in your eyes i am your star,
you would follow me anywhere,
but you don't know the paths i think of taking you down.

Whenever you finally find the courage to finally give me the blame,
I try harder as though this is a game,
because its no fucking fun if you play easy,
Although I would still never cheat on you.

Imperfection is becoming perfection,
And perfection is becoming obsession,
The merit of work is sloppiness,
As lazy as I am pride takes over,
Leaving me in second place,

"No Woman, No Cry" - Bob Marley.