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my lonelyness |
such sorrow i feel... lost under a grey and cold sky just beyond its edge i fall into the nothing and i see the snow coming down slowly as the loneliness condenses into beautiful crystallized mirrors reflecting a dull landscape sketched by god himself it feels dry in here beyond reality but reality to me tastes like a hard cement wall that stretches out and blends the shaded figures rising into the clouded mist they are my friends they stand and listen forever never changing never moving always paying homage to my window their red and glowing lights pulsing endlessly into the cold night as they sit and listen to the blowing of the winter wind howling moaning wishing for warmth but never warming anything i feel their cold biting bitterness their silent watchful eyes judging me testing my perseverance tasting my fringed flesh with their hungry empty eyes how can I resist? How may I serve thee. with soft skin and naked loyalty cast into you’re thorny embrace. I am loved! by the dead and wondering trees growing just beyond my door speaking in slow whispers hushed by the wind. and now my thoughts are aimlessly regressing flowing into an empty recess regret?... no I’ve never regretted anything, but I can help but think that somewhere i got lost within that endless grey expanse and never returned i wondered forever searching for a boy who had also lost his way he stood beyond the edge gazing into that same silent abyss never blinking, eyes half closed i could see his breath but he wasn’t cold in fact he was warn within my gaze as i embraced him with my sad smile i blinked and he was gone again but instead there was an echooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo creativity would find us again but my love was all whispers promises taken like pills All for joy all for satisfaction but never was my apatite filled even after I had taken his soul and left a broken shell behind that was really a reflection of myself so I really in the end I devoured my own heart and cast my youth aside I ate myself. the one i only ever truly loved |