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this is a poem dipicting the structure of my internal world. |
I am lost within myself forever wondering my mind mazes to hide myself I construct towering wonders and cosmic landscapes to house my imagination I imprison my lost countenance in a desert of infinite waste the hard dust crunching beneath my footsteps these temples within my mind are artistic shrines to praise creative boredom in infinite and dark abyss beyond the depths reaching into my core here it is still and silent as I float forever within me waiting to awaken again I paint great raging battles upon a field ripe with chaos to express internal conflict these horrors I mold beyond the light drawing the barriers and raising up the walls to contain violent fantasies to swallow up the wonton hunger to trap myself within myself i hear his cries rolling out echoing along the maze walls i hear his running footsteps as they splash in the flooded basement labyrinth prison my reflection taunts me in here is nothing but time it stretches forth to cover everything turning all to crumbling dust. the dirt and sweat drips in incoherent terror the wild eyed imposter roams the empty corridors of my templed forests where my manifested darkness lies a forest of empty spaces flowing out over the fog solidifying into the black solid bubbling rectangle of my brutal fear a dead and crumbling tree has sprung from its polluted waters oozing out noxious sulfur and tar here i have destroyed the past it burns like a corps upon the funeral pyre its ash floating down like a poisonous snow a deadly rotting fallout its flakes drift delicately in the smoky air landing gently upon the slick black surface and are taken into its hunger here i have made my purgatory a moon white wasteland of ash and fog and rusting rigid metal creaking and groaning out upon the horizon bearing the weight of heavy ages now below the black surface lies the doorway an entrance unto corruption the raw power of desire this is his house his name means only malice it is his name behold as he rattles the cage in agitation for he knows that i hold the keys to his freedom like a mirror in a reflection he beholds my deepest desire and smiles a sharp glittering grin grey translucent skin stretching back his piercing eyes glowing intently in the inky oily dark my cage is nothing. I AM FREE I AM I! enter into the garden of my perfect desire a treasure house of images! Every thirst is sated, every drink overflowing foaming with the intoxicating pleasures of self INDULGENCE. Every wish every secret craving filled the little nymphs and satyrs dance in scantily clad robes of fine weave cut for ascetic appreciation their supple flesh ripe and willing to pluck and to devour! the sweet drugs and crimson wine flood the palace fountains gilded and glowing with decadence. tables decked with every delicious delicant of gluttony sweet roasts and a cornucopia of forbidden fruit beasts of women preside here with heaps of flaming tresses contorting and twisting in rapturous beds of pleasure boys in bare attire flaunt their promiscuous prickly cravings their intoxication is jovial and depraved a glorious ball of indulgence dancing to the tune of sensual degradation let me distill its essence in one single golden drop ah the shining dew dripping from his lips enshrouding me within its waves of overwhelming divine rapture yea a single fruit upon the secret tree within my savage garden. ripe and red with glowing sweetness there is no snake within this paradise it lies beyond the powers of degradation pure within my other sided mind its keeper lies hidden within its foliage making ripples in the fountain of time gazing intently at the wonders held within its waters behold the object of innocence. he is man perfected. Adam Kadmon playing within the guardian of my youth sowing the seeds of intellectual curiosity he is beyond the touch of time uncorrupted by reality. I wonder along the marbled pathways under the sweet flowering trees held within an endless spring a soft scented wind delicately cooling the perfect atmosphere under a crystalline waterfall flowing from an aquamarine colored spring its waters glowing amber in the sunlit noon as I pass beneath the creviced entrance overgrown by emerald dewy moss. I enter a domed grotto flowing rainbow mosaics shine like webs of glittering spider silk along its walls of melting stone columns and pointed spire archways I hear the dripping melodies whispering back the words of echo as drops of moisture hit the collecting pools along the caverns floor here is my shrine to the nameless its simplicity reflects its simple sacred nature a single stone box with an image of light carved upon its lid within its unlocked concealment it is empty devoid filled with whispers and mystery a containment of space the shape of god my shoes begin to wear and dissolve in here is only bareness i stand on sacred ground an inscription is held beneath the lid inscribed: " I AM." Hollowed be thy name so mote it be! |