Stoner Chronicalls: Land of" Dude"

STONER CHRONICLES

I have been to
         Colorado,
         California,
         Connecticut  and other places.
I was born through
         Something called blowing glass.
I lived a day on a shelf up high,
Then a burlap like hand
                             Grasped my head and
                                       Across a glass counter I went.
New home:

A chubby hand held on tight.
         Swaying me back and forth and
                   Up, up I went- into the air, landing on the ground.
                                                                                                                                                                 An angry woman was reflected off my-
shiny exterior.  It’s odd to see things in reverse.  Oh, yes, the woman…
she grabbed the chubby hand that
used to hold me so tenderly and slapped it.
Once, twice, then tears.
She kissed his forehead then,
…and told him to wash up for dinner
                                                 
Journey:
Plunged into the angry woman’s pocket
           Suffocating from the stench of starch
I bounced 12 times not including my landing.
         Gravity distorts, and I slide slightly left.
Then around and woosh! I crash into fluffy lumps.
Her reflection shows a teary eyed woman,
Just glaring, and staring in a way that’s most definitely impolite.

She paces, paces and continues to when
         She remembered the little pawn shop down the way.
                   A yellow book is thrown on the lumps along side me
                             And the woman made a call, asking where exactly
                                       would she go to pawn a tobacco device.
                                       She smiled and thanked him.
                             Deep breath, gasp and then she said it allowed
                                       Once, and then her spider-leg fingers
                             caressed me and repeated once more:
                                       It’s a bowl miss.





STONER CHRONICLES
THE LAND OF, “DUDE!”
The store man inspected me thoroughly with his hands.
         He thumbed at my carb and swept my bowl,
then took a look inside my history. He assured the woman that there wasn’t much resin so
I was only used once or twice.
She sighed and he stole a glance
                                                                        at her falling breasts.
“I’ll give ya, 50.” He stated.
A shake and a minute later I was watching the woman’s
reflection disappear through a sterile glass case and I began to wait.
When the sun began to glisten off my side a bell rang
and artificial light put an end to my glistening.
Streets filled with men in suits and women on stilts.
Coffee in each hand, and they all chatter to no one
within 100 miles of them.
Sun hangs high in the sky and a boy with odd
hair bursts in the swinging doors.
         Bolts, and staples adorned his face, making his image
blur in my reflection. He pressed his red hands down on the glass,
casting a shadow over my head. I feel the pressure of a tap-tap-tap
rumbling from above and I listen.
“DUDE!!!” He screeches as he looks down at me.
His metal slightly skewing upward.
“This is the one dude, I’m telling you. I can feel it.” he says.
I knew right then, I was sold.

Odd haired boy’s name was Chad.
His hands were always too soft or too rough
And he likes to share.
Chad pulled me out of his pocket, as a screeching bell rings.
“Dude!” yells a goofy boy as he rips me-
away from Chad. A lot of nothing was said, and
another pulls me from the goof. Lush blonde strains
hung above me and a wispy giggle escaped her too much
lip gloss lips.
Her torn shorts and tied back shirt persuaded the boys with:
“Wanna get stoned?”
Her nimble fingers curling her hair and sunshine smile convinced the boys with:
“Come on, you know you won’t regret it!”
The goof and Chad shrugged.
It was time to follow, and listen to her exercised methods of persuasion.
      The familiar scent of having a purpose permeated the air.
The goof grunted, as he tossed the grass in.
All eyes were,
on me, and then…rotation.
As I felt the soothing burn run through my body I began to listen.
“So, dude. I just walked in and took a look around. It was like-
Heaven! And then, I looked down and..there it was!” Chad exclaimed.
“No shit! Ya know, that’s good luck dude. When you find a
piece that just…I don’t know man..draws, yea..draws you in.
It’s totally righteous man. Drawled the goof between hits.
“Shut up stoney! Like it’s pretty cool, I guess. I mean its
not exactly new. Torn Shorts girl wined.
“But come on, who cares! More use the better! All it
does is fill the inside with gritty goodness.” Chad explained
Ha ha ha!!!!!!
Ha ha ha!!! Wait
Ha ha ha!!!
“Really, ok; so you are by far the corniest of the corny man” The goof states with a smile; he let’s the smoke rise slowly from his lips.
Hours passed,
         The women on stilts and the men in suits all bore
sagging shoulders. The coffee was replaced with cigarettes,
and the conversation with invisible people subsided.  We all watched
them pass our secret patch of grass, it was mesmerizing to see that many people
with the same destination; home.
Chad, clutched me a little tighter as cars drove past. 
His clammy fingers rubbed the back of my head nervously.  Torn shorts, leaped up
and began to run. 

                    The goof laughed, and Chad put me in a death grip.
Running, running, stop…
Chad placed me on Torn shorts’ blouse and then his shorts hit
the sand beside me. The sun glistened off my side as it did the
first time he saw me.



“So, so if you could be like anywhere…anywhere okay? Where- where would you be?” Asks the goof with a toothy grin.
“Well, I gotta say right here!”states Chad
“Whattttttt…come on dude! You could be anywhere and you wanna be here?
         “Yea man, like if you think about it. This is the life. I got you- I got my piece-
And we got the beach.
“Well no shit dude, but- wait did you say your piece?
“Yea, I haven’t named it yet. I can’t think of anything that’s not like lame.”
“Ha,ha come on just look at it! Don’t think about it just- whatever the first word
Comes to mind-that’ll be the name,” the goof explains.
“That’s it..just like that? What if like the first word I think of is uh,” Chad paused for a second and whispered,”vagina”.
Ha, ha, ha,
Ha, ha, ha,
“My friend,” the goof began, “ if that is the first word you think of…then we’ll be smoking out of Vagina.”
“All right…I’ll do it. But-if it’s a lame name- you’re getting a beat down man.” Chad warned with a laugh.
The goof spun Chad around and then screamed, “Go!”
“WENDY’S!!!”
“What?” the goof said as he his head.
“Let’s go to Wendy’s!  I’m starving!”
“You’re a moron!”the goof laughed ,”Now you’re piece’s name is Wendy- nice job asshole.”
“No, no, no…how bout- okay what if we just rearranged the letters.”Chad suggested, “Seriously, I can’t have a bitch piece…but later I really do want Wendy’s.”
The warm breeze rustled through the goof’s sandy hair and Chad looked out at the horizon.
He rolled his tongue along the metal loops on his lip and his hands relaxed. The goof started laughing and crying out cat calls to the ocean. He shook his hands in the air and closed his eyes. The green shards of glass looked like emeralds to Chad, and the cheap renting umbrellas were surprisingly inviting. His solace was abruptly interrupted by a falsetto screech coming from the distance.
“NELSON JAMES, what did I tell you! Stop!  Fine, run away..I’m calling your father!” the falsetto screech came from a gorgeous woman in blue. The color wrapped around her waist and dipped into seashells around her supple features. Her skinny jeans clung to the places that should have curves and her ankles were bound tight with ribbon from her solid white heels. Chad stood up to get a better look when he felt an excruciating pain coming from his stomach. He crumpled and looked down to see a dirty faced boy blushing. The vomit came shortly after and he threw me to the kid.
“Hold this! Will ya!” Chad winced.
The boy picked me up and cradled me with both hands.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“It’s a thing. Just hold it, keep still.”
“What does it do?” he whispered.
“You smoke out of it! Now, please kid.”
“Why?” the kid mocked.
“Huh? What do mean why?”
“Why do you smoke out of it?”
Chad pulled himself together and stood fairly straight again. He looked over at the goof, who didn’t seem to notice what was happening, and thought about how he should explain this.
“Well, one day. You’ll sit here and look out at that beautiful horizon. You’re gonna want to feel just as warm and radiant as the setting sun.” Chad stammered and looked down at the boy.
The little kid looked up at Chad and wiped the dirt off his face with one hand and clutched my history with the other. He cocked his head to the side, looked down and put his hand out.
“You’re funny.” Giggled the boy.  Chad snatched me out of the boy’s palm and then he patted his dirty mop hair.
“What’s your name kid?”Chad demanded.
“Well, my Mommy calls me Nelson when she’s angry but everyone calls me Ned.” He explained.
“Is that your mom back there?” Chad asked.
The boy nodded.
“Why are you running?”
“Cuzzzz…She’s a meany. I wanted just one cookie. Just one before dinner and she wouldn’t let me!”
“That’s it?”Chad raised an eyebrow and frowned.
“Well yea. I want what I want!”
“Okay, okay---Ned. Well, I’m sorry to be a tattle-tale but…I’m taking you back to your Mom.”
The boy crossed his arms and looked down at the sand.
“Fineeeeeeeeee…but- can I come visit you again? I want to be as warm as the sun too.”  Chad patted Ned’s back and chuckled.
“One of these days kid, but for now..if your good I’ll visit you.” Chad replied.
The boy tried to hide his joy and he stifled a giggle. He looked back at the perch where he made his new friend and saw the goof staring off.
“What about your friend?” the boy questioned.
“Who?- Oh, yea he’ll be fine. He’s feeling it, I gotta let him enjoy it.”
“Feeling what?” the boy squeaked.
Chad stopped walking for a second and looked over his shoulder at the goof. His sandy haired friend folded his arms around his stomach and let his head fall back. Chad almost got lost in watching him but Ned gave him a friendly punch.
“FEELING WHAT?” he yelled.
“Oh, um..you asked too many questions. Shut up for a second dude.” Chad teased. The little boy grabbed Chad’s hand and started to run. He laughed and was relieved that he decided to dodge Ned’s last question. He’s just a kid after all.


Maybe Friday:
Chad rotated his keys and me around his fingers in his pocket as he waited for Ned’s mom to answer the door.
         “Why can’t I just run in the back yard?”  Ned wined, “She probably won’t be as mad.”  Chad gently swatted him over the head and the boy retaliated with a surprise punch to his stomach.
         “Be a man Ned…and I swear if you hit me again-“Chad threatened with a smile.  The door then swung open and the beautiful woman in blue made my spacious pocket feel a little snugger against his thigh.
         “Nelson James! In the house now!” she demanded. Chad began to follow Ned in when he felt her arm hit his chest. She blocked the door as much as she could and her obvious failure provoked a smirk to arise on Chad’s face.
         “What are you smiling about? And what were you doing over there?” she blurted out. Chad shifted his weight back and forth and looked down at his shoes.
         “Well-“he started, with a cautious smile; “maybe I could show you.”  He didn’t see her hand until after it made contact with his face. He could feel it sting, thinking that now he knew why Ned ran away.
         “Oh! Oh my God! I’m sorry.” She called out, “Wow, I really overreacted I’m sorry. Thank you for bringing back my son.”  She pet the place in which she had just assaulted and began to walk away.
         “Well, Miss?” Chad goaded.
         “It’s Jenna.” She said and turned to face him again.
         “Well, Jenna. Since you did just assault me, I think that you owe me a fitting apology.” She clenched her fists but he put his hand up and began again.
         “You asked me before.  ...What I was doing over there?  I was thinking that I should show you, maybe Friday. It would really make me feel like you’re honestly sorry for slapping me.”  Jenna looked up at Chad and let her fists fall apart.  She rolled her heal in nervous circles as she thought about what to say.
         “What time?” she finally whispered. Chad pointed out to the beach and told her that when the sun was big, and just above the water he would meet her then.
         “Fine” Jenna said coldly and slammed the door behind her. Chad shook his head, and pulled me out of his pocket. He ran his fingers along my blooming colors. He grinned and said to me, “Well, you’ve got a name now buddy…and don’t worry it’s not Wendy. Nope your Wyned… haha…Fucking Wyned…”






Chad got to his perch early as the sun was sun was just about to set
and looked out towards Jenna’s house.
He was hoping that if he was patient, he would capture a picture in his
mind of the two most beautiful things in the world.
Jenna looked at herself one more time in the mirror. Her violet sundress draped over her neck
and tied in the front.  As she fussed with her hair, she tried to think of
when the last time she left the house was.


Jenna stretched her  arms out wide and asked, “ So how do you do this? Like..”
Chad looked at her and stated, “ Ha! Shut up, I might be young but I’m not stupid.”
“What! I never have------ Okay, yea..Happy now!” Chad rolled over on his side next to her and whispered, “Blow smoke rings again.”
Ha ha ha
Ha ha ha
Jenna threw her head back and landed gently on Chad’s lap. He looked down at her and put me up to her moist lips. He held her hand as she pulled the smoke into her lungs. He cradled her head as she held it in deep. She reached up to his face and pulled him down. She passed the cloud of smoke from her lips to his and did not retreat when he kissed her. I felt her hand take me and place me on the other side of the perch. I waited with a green ember still burning inside me and thought- I just made this happen.
A little while later Chad asked, “Where’s Ned’s dad?” while lighting himself a cigarette.
“Ugh, I divorced him when little Ned was---well..little I guess. I caught the bastard picking up girls at a concert. Ya know, it’s really stupid that he has custody of my boy.”
“Ned doesn’t live here?”
“ Only in the summer. His father lives in London. We let him choose who he wanted to live with and well----his father out-bribed me.”
“Huh?”
“ I bought Ned the whole set of Disney classics on DVD just like he asked, and his father goes and takes him to Disney land.  Apparently, Ned really had fun because when he came home he was ready to pack up and leave.”
She shifted her hips and pulled her legs closer to her knees. Chad gripped her hand and wiped the silent tears that she was weeping. After his fingers left her eyes she sat up and collapsed into his arms. He could feel her tears on the back of his neck and he held her. He could hear the suppressed heaves of agony in every choking gasp that escaped her lips.
“Let it out. It’s ok…”
“It just hurts so much!” Jenna cried.
“ I know…”
“But why, why take my Ned? Why Chad?” Jenna yelled.
She was pounding her fists into his back and he let her out of his embrace and grabbed her wrists. She unclenched her fists and put her hands around his face.
“ Why take Ned..because life sucks sometimes and it’s okay- no let me talk. It’s alright..this hurt..this pain you feel..It’s real..but if you let it eat at  you…you’re going to actually start looking  your age and I won’t be allowed to see you again.” Chad whispered in her ear.
Jenna punched his shoulder playfully and smiled. She wiped the smeared make-up off her tear-stained cheeks.
“Well, how old do you think I am?” Jenna asked with a smile.
“ Hmm…well if I say 30 you might kick my ass but if I say 23 I’ll be kissing yours so----26?”

Jenna tossed her head back lightly and squealed, “  Ha,ha! You’re adorable.”
“ Am I right though?”
Jenna crossed her arms and pursed her lips. Chad laughed and kissed her cheek.
“Alrighty,” Chad replied, “ if you won’t tell me yours than I won’t tell you mine.”
“Okay then..so we’re ageless?” Jenna teased,” Tehehehe like ageless?”
“ Yes, Miss Jenna…you and me… ageless.”

My name is Wyned:
The rain riddled the windows with mixtures of beats and thrashes. The wind whipped the ocean smell into every crevice of Jenna’s house and she held her wine glass as she looked up at the rain. She always loved the sky windows in her house. It was the only thing that she demanded the architects to include in the plans. They tried to reason with her and explain that her windows did not fit with the aesthetic plans for the rest of the house but she got what she wanted. Her traditional comfy cottage bared little roofing and its awkward windows seemed to fit her personality well. I rested on her kitchen table with her bowl of fresh fruit and vase of flowers. Chad had forgotten me in her purse and once discovered; Jenna was ecstatic. When she called him, he told her that he would be picking her up at ten.
I watched her top off her glass and pace across the floor. It was 9:45 and she was getting teenage butterflies.  Her stomach dropped when she saw his truck crawling up her driveway. She took one last deep breath and placed me lovingly in her purse.
Her perfume smelled of daisies and her eyes glittered like stars.
Her curiosity was cute to Chad and he hoped that he
wasn’t making a huge mistake.
The barn smelled of stale hay and the boys and girls seemed to fit the scenery.
The boys walked around shirtless, talking, laughing...like they had been there forever.
The girls clustered in corners and mingled in packs…like they had secrets to share.
Jenna and Chad were greeted by an array of “Dude! And What’s up man!” Jenna held his hand tighter. If it weren’t for the girls loving introductions, she would have felt out of place here.
Each of them, shook her hand, hugged her, and said:
I’m Kelly
Carrie
Star
Chelsea
Bells.
Then they laughed and kissed her cheeks. Chad let her hand go and urged her to mingle.
“Do you wanna burn with us?”Kelly asked, as her dimples began to grow.
“Yea! This grass is prolly greener than the stuff you’ve been smoking.” Bells chattered.
Jenna smiled and agreed.
Star took the first hit and then passed her smoke to Carrie.
         

She then pressed her lips against Kelly’s and Chelsea put her hand up and made a funnel. Finally, she turned to Jenna and their soft lips touched. They all laughed and tossed their hair around. Jenna then noticed that  everyone was laughing. They touched each other lightly, letting their fingers run across each others’ skin. No one was trying to take anyone else; it was just the comfort of skin to skin that made them behave this way.
Chad worked his way to the top of the loft and bellowed for everyone’s attention.
“ Okay!  I don’t care how stoned you are right now..I’m passing around my bowl and it must be smoked out of by all of you.”
The barn erupted with laughter and the goof yelled out, “What’s its name!”
” Well, I kind of fucked it up the first time when I wanted Wendy’s…so I have rearranged the letters and here- I present to you: Wyned (Why-ned)!”
The laughter rumbled again and everyone watched as he took the first hit out of me and began to pass.
I met many hands and lips that day.
Cold hands, and warm hands,
Glossed lips and beer glazed lips.
                   Each pair pulled and pact as much as they could in their lungs.
                   As one person inhaled, the next exhaled and passed me along.
                   Bells held me for a long time..looking at the blue stripes that marked when I was used last. Her eyes were big and amber… I think she took a liking to me.






She grabbed onto the goof and screamed, “ IT’S KICKED!” For everyone to hear and they applauded her silliness. The goof chuckled and handed me back to Jenna.
“You do know that Chad’s crazy about you right?”The goof asked.
“Of course I do! Why?”Jenna said.
“Take care of him okay?”
“What are you talking about? He’s fine!” Jenna said, “Right?”
“Yea, he’s good.  But whatever- can you promise?”
Jenna assured him that she would take great care of him.
The goof looked into her eyes, touched her cheek and kissed her hand.
She rubbed a finger over the place where his lips were. She felt many lips today but his,-
his made her hands tremble and I hoped she wouldn’t let me drop.





You Bitch:
His body was dragged out of
the ocean in a fishing net.
There was barely anything left,
but no one could mistake him for anyone else; it was
The goof.
Years had past since he made Jenna promise to take care of Chad. No one knew much about him, except that he likes to burn and he likes the ocean. Unfortunately, no one knew what the goof didn’t like; which was being called Goof. He had always been a too thin kid.  His tall stature made him look like a man but not a strong one.
Girls, teased him with kisses and promises of friendship forever.
Boys, made playful jabs at his height and punches about his awkwardness.
         But they all loved him, he meant the world to them…too bad he never knew it.
Chad was celebrating his 21th birthday with Jenna when he heard the news.
She was pouring them glasses of wine when Chad’s cell phone went off.
“What happened? What?” Chad said, “I can’t hear you!- Oh…..” He flipped the top down and sat there.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Jenna whispered.  Chad got up and walked down to the water. He threw me in his pocket on the way and I could feel his body shuddering.  Once at the water, he threw his hands up and closed his eyes.
“YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!” he screamed as loud as he could. He cursed at the ocean, half expecting a response.  Jenna rushed to his side and looked at him with searching eyes.
“Goof…he-“ Chad choked, “He fucking----overdosed…I told him to stay away from that shit! I fucking told him.”
Jenna held him close and cried in silence. For the first time, Chad’s body was heavy in her arms; he needed her. She thought of the promise she made to the goof; he knew this was going to happen eventually and entrusted her with his best friend’s heart. She held Chad tighter at the thought and I was pressed between two lovers in mourning.

It’s what he would’ve wanted:
No one showed up at the goof’s funeral except family.
The ceremony was beautiful and pictures of the him
covered the decorations. The goof what have puked
if he saw how sappy his family mourned his death.
All of his friends were gathered at the beach…no one was dressed up
But at least their clothing was black.
Chad sat on a picnic table and held the box.
Bells put in her dried flowers that he had given her for senior prom-
Chelsea put in the roach clip he had shoplifted for her-
Kelly put in a handle of Vodka and a half pack of cloves that they had planned on
finishing later-
Star put the last of her mushrooms and a love letter that he would never get to read-
Carrie put the mega size jaw breaker that they had injured themselves badly with while trying to break it in half-
Then Jenna came
                and she placed a single black rose with a note attached…it read: “I will, I promise.”
After all the tokens of treasure were put inside Chad stood up with Jenna’s help,
“We all know the goof, as well goofy. His death was unexpected and a terrible loss- but as his best friend I can honestly tell you that…he would call all of us a bunch of bitches for standing around crying….( a light chuckle spread across the group) So, tonight we’re--- going to party hard, celebrate his life and get fucking retarded.” At that, he put me to his lips and I heard the familiar spark of fire before billowing out the funeral rotation.

Jenna came and sat beside Chad, who was looking out at the beach.
“Everyone leave? “Chad asked without looking at her.
“No, they’re still here..just passed out all over the beach.”Jenna chuckled.
“Can I ask you something?”
                          “Course…”
“Would you be mad if I put Wyned in the box?” Chad asked.
“No- I mean if that’s what you want.”
“I just feel like he would want that ya know. Like we can always get a new one.”
“If that’s what you want to do than I’m with you.” Jenna assured. She kissed his forehead and he took hold of her hand.
“He loved Wyned and we all made a lot of memories with that bowl together. I want him to have that, I want to think that one day he’ll be terrorizing the living and catch a kid taking a hit from his Wyned. No, stop laughing- I’m serious…it’s like his goal in life would finally be fulfilled.” Chad slurred.
“That makes no sense…I’m confused.” Jenna laughed, while she looked at the bottle in his hand.
“Well, after I met your son he said that he hoped one day he would have a son who he can teach about the goodness. He said that behind the haze, and high you also gain memories with anyone. Goof always said that if you want to break the ice than smoke a bowl.”
“Wow. That’s deep, I never thought of him as a guy who thinks.”Jenna taunted.
“Yea, he wasn’t one for small talk and since he was always thinking about whatever the hell- he didn’t really care to interrupt his own thoughts. But sometimes- sometimes we would be at his place and BAM! He would hit you with some sort of crazy shit and I don’t know… I kind of liked that he was like that.” Chad said as he took another healthy swig.
“Babe…what was his real name?”
“Vincent Durkin-Smith” Chad said, annunciating everything.
“That would be his name.”
They shared a moment of laughter while Chad passed Jenna a beer and cracked one open for himself. They sat there for hours, without a word. The air was filled with the sounds that the goof loved the most; the ocean, the breeze, and silent thinking.

So where do 15 year olds play:
A week went by and Chad finally had the chat with me. He started packing me with green and looked around to see if we were alone.
         “Okay, Wyned I’m going to level with you. I know it’s pretty shitty that you’re going to be stuck in this box.” He started as he dug through his desk looking for a lighter, “but we’re going to bury you in a real good spot and maybe one day someone will smoke something better than my shit out of you.” Chad paused for a second, as if to listen to me speak.
“Yea, you’re right there’s nothing better than mine but seriously here’s to the good times my friend. Travel easy.”
After he shut the lid, I could feel the pressure of his hands still on the box.
I felt the comforting tap-tap-tap that had brought us together
in the first place.
“I think the kids are hanging out at that playground near the boardwalk.” Bells stated while she cracked her gum.
“Please, and take the chance that a three year old is going to find a box with tasty mushrooms in it!”Carrie yelled,” No, I say that we just go to the high school soccer game and ditch it on one of the away game busses.”
“Lameo- You know the goof wouldn’t want any of those brats touching Wyned.” Kelly squeaked,” No we got to drive it out of the state.”
“Mushrooms!” Chelsea screamed, “Hello! Do you want to get arrested? As they went on bickering and passing me around Jenna sat up straight and blurted, “Summer camps!”
Everyone went quiet and stared at Jenna.
Star looked up from her guitar and contributed a simple, “Huh?” to the conversation taking place.
“Summer camps,” Jenna said again, “It’s perfect-kids go to those and we could plant it there. A kid will find the box, and we can stop wasting afternoons trying to figure out where 15 year olds hang out.”
“Oh shut-up…You know you love hanging out with us.”Carrie mocked,” When is your son going to be old enough to join the family?”
Jenna glared at Carrie and then slipped her a wink.
“No, Jenna baby” Chad said, “you got something with that. Summer camps- fucking genius.”

After many outbursts and munchie-breaks,
The crew found a great place for me.
Even in the dark, I could visualize my family disappearing as did the woman who made all of this possible .Now , again it’s time to wait.