Tension, Tension, Tension

This is the second installment of journal entries from Ryan, living in a shelter after Nuclear War. This item covers Chapters 3 and 4 of the Writing Assignment.

April 1st

Dear Journal

          My giddiness is gone, journal. It's been, what, three days since the initial food stealing, and things haven't calmed down yet! Even more food has gone missing from the storage area, and life around the shelter is a pain. I can't walk down the hall without hearing whispers of who dun it, and blah blah blah. Jason refuses to admit to stealing the food, and Big John won't admit to it either. You'd think one of them would just give in, but they're more stubborn than I expected. Dr. Jenkins has been taking a few people aside every day, talking to them about the situation. He talked to me yesterday, trying to use psychobabble to determine if I was the thief. I'm pretty sure I gave him the slip, blaming it on the fat fuck of a Boy Scout. To be honest, I think he bought it. If you think about it, I'm not very likely to steal the food. I'm not overweight, so Big John is more probable. I don't have any significant others here, so I'd be less likely to steal food for them. If you ask me, I'm the least likely to steal at all. Alongside Victor and Lindsey, that is. But if you were to ask me a different question, I'd give you a different answer. Question: Do you disagree with the stealing? Answer: Hell no. If you're going to leave the storage room unlocked, and not care to watch it, you're begging for it to be looted. I mean, why the hell not? If you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else. You should put yourself before others, and if everyone was to do that, every single person would be a number one priority. Does that make sense, journal?
          Do you think it's funny, journal, that we were put in this godforsaken shelter because of a war? I do. Since food keeps disappearing, people are taking sides. Big John is leading the older folks, whereas Jason is front man of the younger crowd. Well, it's not a war yet, per say, but alliances are being formed. Think of that old tv show, Survivor. We talk in hushed voices, plotting about the other side...It's pretty dramatic.
          Want the breakdown on this one, journal? In the red corner, we have Big John. He's convinced Ms. Brentwood that us younger folks don't care about her or her children. I think he may have pulled some ancient racist strings with Mr. and Mrs. Crawford, but I have to say I expected that one. Big John also seems to be bonding with Officer Park and Dr. Jenkins. They all sit together in the main hall, brooding their days away.
          That leaves us with the blue corner. Jason has riled up the rest of us, but with no real proof. Colin and I are hanging with Jason simply because we connect with him more. He's a nice guy, like I had thought when I first saw him. It's sad things went to shit as soon as they did, I didn't get to hang around a relaxed group of people. I digress, I'm off topic. Lindsey is on our side, I assume for the same reason. Also, I think she has a thing for Colin. Or maybe his beard. And last but not least, Victor. Jason is working with him on some basic English. He learns a little bit here and there, but most of the time he just sits and nods.
          That's about it, oh mighty journal. Eventually, Jason and Big John will butt heads again. Right now, however, it's the calm before the storm. Good for bonding, I guess, I just hope the shit hits the fan soon. The longer we sit around chatting the more likely someone asks to come into my room, and I can't do that. They might find my food, and then our game of war would be over. Boooring.



April 10th

Dear Journal, Journal, Journal

          Nine days, journal. It's been nine days since my last post. And can you fucking guess what's going on now? You're right! The same god damn thing! I don't even eat all the food I steal anymore! I've got a fucking stockpile of it! You know why I keep stealing?! Cause they don't lock the fucking door! It's like if I was punching a guy in the face, and he kept smiling and urging me on. I'm going to keep doing it, just to spite them and encourage them to USE THEIR FUCKING BRAINS.
          Okay, enough rant. To be completely honest, it's getting chaotic down here. No punches thrown, nothing like that, but the conflict is out in the open. Jason and Big John can't even be in the same room anymore. Every time they come anywhere near each other, you would see Dr. Hill holding back the big guy, and Colin holding onto Jason. Funny thing, though. Yesterday, I heard Jason yell "I'll fucking leave then! I'll have a better chance in the wastes!" I mean, hell. I don't know much about the grace period after a nuke, but I don't think it's less than a couple of weeks. And people are flipping out about how much food we have left too. Only enough for....brace yourself... a year and a half! Jesus Christ, call in the National Guard. Only a year and a half? Cry about it.
          Now, as I said, it's been less than two weeks. I think. People are starting to lose it! Already! They're worrying about something a year and half in the future, while Victor is wandering the halls aimlessly, muttering something to himself in Spanish. Nobody seems to care, though. As I said, he never said much anyways.
          Alright, hold the phone. What I meant was nobody cares about his well being. Dr. Jenkins, however, cares about the situation a great deal. I had another "appointment" with him. I am not fond of the good doctor, he is really a pretentious ass. He asked me what I thought of Victor, and I said I admired him. Someone had to go crazy eventually, it's good for morale. Ha, that one really threw him off. After he jotted some notes down, recrossed his legs and adjusted those stupid glasses, he asked what I meant. I said it was simple, we had to have something to aspire to. A living example of what not to be.
          That asshole didn't agree. He said that Victor was a potential threat, and of all people, he knew what he was talking about. Sure. Like you need a PHD to tell that crazy people do crazy things. I have to say, though, he surprised me with the next question. He asked me what I would do to prevent Victor from doing something harmful to the shelter. Even I, dearest journal, was at a loss for words. The prissy doctor just asked me if I would kill Victor. Kill him! We are in a world surrounded by death, and Dr. Jenkins wants to off someone else? I told him to go fuck himself. I'm not that far gone yet.
          Fuck, journal. This is getting to be too much for me. I think I'm going to go relax with Colin and Lindsey. They never seem too high strung. Hopefully, I'll get my mind off all this bullshit...I'll talk to you later.